hey! remember when i said i was afraid to move on and have a big change in my life?! well... im not too sure about that right now! well, it seems that the orientation awhile ago in dlsu changed my outlook in life... it opened up everything... college life, job opportunities... and so much more! :) anyway, now really looking forward to starting a new life but not leaving the past behind because you see, there's just so much in the past that no matter how you like to forget, you just can't forget it... maybe in life, there are such failures that we are destined to face in order to learn and make our lives better... :) heck, im starting to sound like a philosopher!!! :D anyway... i hope that someday in the future... i will be known as Engineer Mysh!!! :) but in order to achieve that dream... i know that i must first be able to get through with our graduation mass on tuesday, graduation practices, the graduation itself, enrolments and of course the five years in the course... :) i know it needs a lot of concentration, focus, patience and a lot of hard work to do. but seriously, what made me enjoy the orientation? ha ha!!! is the thing that happened before it... :"> when i was about to leave the house, my mobile suddenly rang and guess what?! coin called!!! asking me where am i... well, its not all that big... but... i dont know... i was running late the whole day today... woke up late, went to the orientation late, the damn photo printing machine was so slow... it was like no matter how i like things to swift pass me, i still have to slow down and wait for things to get in order. well, right now, the stress card would be black... heck! everytime i go online, my mom expects me to bake brownies and when my cousin is doing all the labor, he keeps on nagging about measurements and stuff... then while writing this entry, my ym just kept on beeping... but when i got nothing to do, i have to do the beepings! argh! i know i know... im selfish... but why can't i just have things my way from time to time?! it's like everyday i go with the flow even if it is against my will... i wake up early in the am even if i still want to hit the sack because my brother is afraid to be late... or during no classes, i have to get up because our grandma will nag me to go to the doctor or my insensitive brother just puts the tv on in full volume...
now the dog's barking! argh! this is so frustrating! i can't wait to have my own pad...
next thing is everyone expects me to do stuff all through out the day... can't i have some rest?! i mean, i know i'm not as busy as everyone... but that's just who i am... a laid back kinda girl... i want to keep things orderly...one at a time... that's why i enjoy baking, crochet and skateboarding... you need to have it step by step in order to accomplish it... not just get into it and get out then *presto*! it's all done! anyway... at night, my conscience won't do me good... if i want to sleep... it won't let me... i have to think about everything... coin... coin and coin... heck! why am i so worried?! for all i know is if he doesn't need anything from me, i'm nothing more than a somebody he would pass by and won't even say a word. erase that... i know he cares for me... he appreciates me... he loves me...:D heck! what is happening to me?! i'm being paranoid!!! anyway... maybe that's what happens if you get too much of a good thing... right?! i mean... i don't know what i mean anymore...
tama_chan
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