I really don't feel like I have a life right now. Specially since my life just revolves around school stuff right now. I really don't have the chance to just go out and have fun. When I do go out, it always seem to be related to school stuff in one way or another. No drinks, no movies, no games... just medicals, interviews and lots and lots of logic tests! (which i am very proud to say that i got a 93% and a 95%!!!) Seems na ngayon ko lang natitikman ang pagiging engineering student ko!!!
It's not that I don't like what's happening. I mean, I really enjoy this stuff. At least most of what I'm doing will be very beneficial to me in the future. And this is really what I'm so looking forward to... to have a job and to grow up. Leave the school stuff and go on to the mastery of the career path that I have chosen. And I am really not regretting a single moment of it! Well, except for hte CBC test during my medical because I really really hate injections and well, my blood! haha :)
Sunday, November 09, 2008
Thursday, June 12, 2008
sick and tired
love is not synonymous to pain, is it? like is not synonymous to rejection either... relationship is not synonymous to enemies and commitment is not synonymous to broken promises...
am i not right? but sometimes, it feels like everything above is synonymous to each other... to love is to inflict pain on oneself, to like is to throw oneself to rejection and maybe later on despair and regret, to be in a relationship is to break the friendship and to commit oneself is to break all promises made...
cooling off and talk are just nice words to cover up break up and it's just not there anymore, are they? why do we people always want to hurt ourselves by liking someone, by loving someone and giving oneself to someone to take care of? are we really socially dependent or do we just like others to think highly of us because we have someone and others don't?
one thing's for sure, people are not socially dependent. and the term independent is not given the right meaning. the term independent for me is to have no one around even when you need them. to be socially independent is to be a man stranded on a deserted island. but still he is not independent because he depends on nature to give him food, shelter and clothing. but no one can survive alone... right?
that's why i think that even the smartest person who is bounded to someone, whether his parents, his friends, colleagues or someone they love, are stupid. because being dependent means giving oneself troubles, problems and pain which they will encounter over and over again... i am stupid... forgive me.
am i not right? but sometimes, it feels like everything above is synonymous to each other... to love is to inflict pain on oneself, to like is to throw oneself to rejection and maybe later on despair and regret, to be in a relationship is to break the friendship and to commit oneself is to break all promises made...
cooling off and talk are just nice words to cover up break up and it's just not there anymore, are they? why do we people always want to hurt ourselves by liking someone, by loving someone and giving oneself to someone to take care of? are we really socially dependent or do we just like others to think highly of us because we have someone and others don't?
one thing's for sure, people are not socially dependent. and the term independent is not given the right meaning. the term independent for me is to have no one around even when you need them. to be socially independent is to be a man stranded on a deserted island. but still he is not independent because he depends on nature to give him food, shelter and clothing. but no one can survive alone... right?
that's why i think that even the smartest person who is bounded to someone, whether his parents, his friends, colleagues or someone they love, are stupid. because being dependent means giving oneself troubles, problems and pain which they will encounter over and over again... i am stupid... forgive me.
Thursday, June 05, 2008
cheater
i really miss this blog of mine... i remember the days when i post an entry almost every day or sometimes twice a day... it's like my best friend wherein i post every single one of my thoughts without thinking that someone might read it because for me, this is my paradise... but now, i don't think anyone even remembers this blog... but still, i post my inner thoughts in it, things that i like, things that are important to me and things that i feel guilty about... even though i also started blogging in my multiply site...
so, today's entry isn't anything about the past... it isn't anything about what i have written before... this is a new thing... a new one...
this was supposed to be posted long ago, i think 2 weeks ago... it's really been eating me. this is the question : is it consider cheating when you had lunch with another person while you are in a relationship? or is it the thing 'what he doesn't know won't hurt him' kind? and is it considered to be cheating when it is with an 'almost' much younger but more mature cousin? and this cousin is also in a relationship... but the lunch is nothing like any ordinary lunch out with anyone... it kinda turned out to be a... date?...
so, today's entry isn't anything about the past... it isn't anything about what i have written before... this is a new thing... a new one...
this was supposed to be posted long ago, i think 2 weeks ago... it's really been eating me. this is the question : is it consider cheating when you had lunch with another person while you are in a relationship? or is it the thing 'what he doesn't know won't hurt him' kind? and is it considered to be cheating when it is with an 'almost' much younger but more mature cousin? and this cousin is also in a relationship... but the lunch is nothing like any ordinary lunch out with anyone... it kinda turned out to be a... date?...
*SIGH*
Tuesday, May 13, 2008
past
i wonder if anyone still visits this blog...
anyway, i had this dream the other night, 11 May 2008. Actually, i don't really understand why i had this dream at all but anyway, i want too post it here.
We were in an electronics class, at first, i was with my usual college laboratory class with all my college classmates. The teacher asked us to plant a seed instead of making our project. He asked us to look for a flowering plant that can be found within the books that surrounded us and ask the technician for the seed. The first one that I planted was surrounded by strawberries so i changed the soil. the next one was too flooded but i didn't care and left the seed to grow. the technician then asked me to find a book in the library but someone found it before me. when i returned to the lab, i saw maxi painting something and that he spilled ferric chloride on the floor. i approached him to help him clean it up but saw his painting. he was painting a scene with something to put in between... i really didn't understand. then someone kicked me hard, a person, let's call him 'past', was sitting beside maxi with a girl that i knew. i told him to stop it since i wasn't minding him at all. then he said he wanted to talk to me so we went outside to talk. before he even said a word, i woke up...
its really strange why he was in my dream again after more than a year now...
anyway, i had this dream the other night, 11 May 2008. Actually, i don't really understand why i had this dream at all but anyway, i want too post it here.
We were in an electronics class, at first, i was with my usual college laboratory class with all my college classmates. The teacher asked us to plant a seed instead of making our project. He asked us to look for a flowering plant that can be found within the books that surrounded us and ask the technician for the seed. The first one that I planted was surrounded by strawberries so i changed the soil. the next one was too flooded but i didn't care and left the seed to grow. the technician then asked me to find a book in the library but someone found it before me. when i returned to the lab, i saw maxi painting something and that he spilled ferric chloride on the floor. i approached him to help him clean it up but saw his painting. he was painting a scene with something to put in between... i really didn't understand. then someone kicked me hard, a person, let's call him 'past', was sitting beside maxi with a girl that i knew. i told him to stop it since i wasn't minding him at all. then he said he wanted to talk to me so we went outside to talk. before he even said a word, i woke up...
its really strange why he was in my dream again after more than a year now...
Wednesday, January 09, 2008
happy new year
happy new year! well, its not really the start of the new year but it's just now that I had the time to update my blog or do anything at all.
Anyway, spent my Christmas vacation in Cagayan de Oro. During the first week, we went to different places. we went to the caves, to Bukidnon, to Duka bay and lastly we went rafting! It was fun, fun and fun! after my uncle and my aunt went back home, i spent the remaining 1 week helping out my aunt with the business. each night that i got home, i really, really need a bath! and that means 2 times with the soap just to get the smell or stench out. nag amuy sibuyas, bawang, banana blossom, chlorine, tawas and paminta ako!!! wah! but it was fun! :D
of course, my stay there didn't have to be boring even though there is no time to use the computer, surf the net or watch tv. At night, before i go to bed, i have a book with me. Anyway, it didn't have to be boring because i have this series of shopping sprees. :D i had only 2 actually. :D
So when i went there, i only brought a duffel bag or an over night bag for my clothes. but when i went back here last jan 5, my clothes were a duffel bag and a mandarin orange box! haha :P And from my usual 2 phones, i brought home 3! hehe, so it was a Happy Christmas and a happy new year! :D
To share the experience with you, please go to my multiply for my pictures! :D thanks!
and now, its back to school and reading manga :P
Anyway, spent my Christmas vacation in Cagayan de Oro. During the first week, we went to different places. we went to the caves, to Bukidnon, to Duka bay and lastly we went rafting! It was fun, fun and fun! after my uncle and my aunt went back home, i spent the remaining 1 week helping out my aunt with the business. each night that i got home, i really, really need a bath! and that means 2 times with the soap just to get the smell or stench out. nag amuy sibuyas, bawang, banana blossom, chlorine, tawas and paminta ako!!! wah! but it was fun! :D
of course, my stay there didn't have to be boring even though there is no time to use the computer, surf the net or watch tv. At night, before i go to bed, i have a book with me. Anyway, it didn't have to be boring because i have this series of shopping sprees. :D i had only 2 actually. :D
So when i went there, i only brought a duffel bag or an over night bag for my clothes. but when i went back here last jan 5, my clothes were a duffel bag and a mandarin orange box! haha :P And from my usual 2 phones, i brought home 3! hehe, so it was a Happy Christmas and a happy new year! :D
To share the experience with you, please go to my multiply for my pictures! :D thanks!
and now, its back to school and reading manga :P
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