dramatic feeling

hey, graduation has just come and go... it was nothing like it... i mean, of course it's our graduation, and i expected something from it... i expected to be touched, to feel the atmosphere around me suddenly becoming dramatic, to have my entire sj life flash before my very eyes, it short... i expected to cry... but no! didn't even shed a tear. not because i was not attached to our batch... i am, i really am... but maybe because we were all matured enough to accept the fact that we really have to move on... leave our high school life behind... but not our alma mater...

anyway, i had a dream last night that i was at the auditorium with all the people who went to the graduation rites. then suddenly, one by one, all the people left and the place was so dark... and when i say dark, it was nothing life when the lights are off... it was total darkness, as in even all the chairs were vanishing and i can't even see the stage. then i was there, all alone in the dark. i didn't move and stayed seated at the last remaining chair where i was seated. i waited for the people to come back but they never returned. then i woke up... i didn't know what the dream meant... maybe i was not afraid to lose everyone so i didn't follow them? i don't know... or maybe i was just really lonely... then i went to get the Judenites and read the articles in it... one article caught my full interest and read it at once.... it was a feature article by Kevin Tsai. it was all about a dream too.. his dream last December. where everyone died and he was one of them... then he realized how special his loved ones are.

there, i realized that some people are lucky for they have some people with them for better or for worse... while i, i don't even know if i have one special friend who i can count on... i mean, i know i can count on all my friends, but almost everyone has a best friend. a best friend who can stay there for them no matter what happens. i miss that feeling, the feeling to have someone calling you even in the middle of the night, texting you simple messages that you want to keep for ever because of the touching words "i'm right here for you kahit ano mangyari" i mean, friends are special... pero iba pa rin ang best friend... i mean friends come and go, but when you have a best friend, you never have to worry about being alone... last time i thought that i don't need a best friend, and just befriend everyone... but now i know that being a friend to everyone and not being the best for someone is sad... but that's not the point of this... is it? i mean, today, i woke up, ready to face a life outside the walls of our beloved SJCS... all the green and white uniforms have been removed from my closet to give more space to ordinary clothings... am i going to miss being in high school? of course i will!!! i mean, like cathy said in her article, "enjoy what you can enjoy" i mean, i can never return to the days of our retreat, to the day of our last mass, last recognition day, last sporsfest, our paraliturgies, our thanksgiving mass, our days in the classroom where pictures are taken, and of course, our once in a lifetime high school graduation... and lots more! i mean, we can never enjoy it as it is when we are right there and the event is just flaunting in front of us... i, myself, want to go back to all those events and enjoy it more... i mean, i miss those times...

now we have to go our separate ways, move on and mold our future better, meet new people who will walk into our lives... but hope that whatever memories we had will always be treasured and well, the friends and love we received will always be remembered and kept... i'm not afriad to move on... are you?

tama_chan