lasts...

it's hard to say good bye... but everyone has to part ways one way or the other...

as i walk into SJCS nowadays, i will always remember that in a few days time, each one of us seniors will be leaving its halls... no more walking into its creppy halls early in the morning or late at night, no more staying in cold enclosed classrooms hearing noises and sobbings from unknown entities, no more staying at the dining hall making backdrops or having practices for upcoming programs or for plays, no more playing of sports during thusdays on the ground floor, no more crowded sportsfest in the gym, and simply, no more Chinese! it may all seem fun... i mean having to leave all those things behind... the back breaking labor, the sleepless nights... but for me, leaving SJCS is like leaving a friend behind... it already took a piece of me since i entered it. it molded me to who i am today. with all the teachers who encouraged us to study hard in order for us to have a good future to look into, with the fathers who have been there to teach us every homily about God and our faith, with all the friends we have made in our thirteen year stay... maybe not just a pieces, maybe more. it sure is a funny thing, because back when i was in grade six, i was excited about leaving SJCS for good, all i can think about is soon i'll be in highschool and its goodbye SJCS forever! and i even said that if i leave SJCS, i would give it one good mock! but now, suddenly, all my emotions stirs up, not knowing what to feel anymore... happy? because all my hard work has finally paid off? because all the hard things i will be able to leave behind? or sad? because all of us will be parting... all of us will soon be off to our own paths? because i will miss my alma mater? because i grew up there... heck, i even spend more time in school than at home! i don't know... we already underwent our last mass with the high school, our last lunch, our last whole day, our last recognition... and so many more lasts... why wouldn't it just last for a lifetime?! because we all have to accept reality... that everyone will have to say goodbye even if you don't want to, even if you're now ready...
so, as long as i can still enter the creepy halls of my beloved alma mater in my school uniform and wearing my id, i will thank it for making me feel so much at home, to release all my crazy and wild ideas and actions... for making me feel so warm and fuzzy inside... for all the love it has given us. i will also plant precious memories in every part of the school because i will visit it again in the future and hopefully, i will want to remember nice memories for every step i make, for every corner i look at, i want to see the present me, having fun there with all my friends.

i'm not yet saying goodbye... i don't even plan to say goodbye in the future but, if it can't be helped then... that's it!!!