englicom roll the dice...
ok... it was... not so fun for me... i didn't win anything nice... well, the jug is nice, so is the keychain and the c2... but i didn't get to win any big price!!!
anyway, here's the scoop... i'm hyper kanina... and now, hindi na masyado... pagod na e... pero still excited about tomorrow's gimik at night! not the cwts a!!!
oh yeah, about me?! super trip ko na magpa late!!! wow, mysh, late for class... new one!!! hahahah!!! pero totoo... super hilig ko na magpalate... sinasadya ko pa nga e!!! naughty girl na...
and this i've got to say... i'm a one-man girl...
Friday, September 30, 2005
Thursday, September 29, 2005
and the FEUd begins...
and the FEUd begins...
ok, for a La Sallian, bad word... at least for the games to follow... damn... i was late for my Filipi2 class cause i simply wanted to... but when i saw the game, i never felt so... confused... to go to class... or not... i simply went because i'm afraid to cut any class at all... anyway, when i reached class, we were also dismissed to watch the game at the central plaza... heck! the crowd, the cheers, the shouts... wish i had gone to the stadium!!! anyway, i went half way thru the third quarter before leaving dlsu... feu was in the lead with 58-51... on the way home, i had called jira twice to check on the scores... 59 all at the end of the third... guess i was too hooked up to today's game that i almost literally ran home from school... we passed 3 red lights along taft avenue and i ran when i was supposed to walk...
i reached home, watched the remaining 4 minutes of the fourth quarter... santos... grr... hahaha!!! no, just kidding! i actually admire his three-points! swak na swak!!! anyway, last two minutes, 73 all... feu ball and whapak!!! santos shoots a three pointer but misses this time, feu players below the net... need i say more... 2 more points for feu!!! wah!!! with 5 seconds left, i left the room and i knew the results...
75-73... the De La Salle Green Archers lost the first game of the finals against FEU this 68th season of the UAAP... depressing... but never the less, i saw what happened afterwards... great game archers and tamaraws! i'm looking forward to the next game! :D
engcal test tomorrow and englicom roll the dice during the evening... i need to study...
by the way... tickets for the next game on thurs... i wanna watch!!!
ok, for a La Sallian, bad word... at least for the games to follow... damn... i was late for my Filipi2 class cause i simply wanted to... but when i saw the game, i never felt so... confused... to go to class... or not... i simply went because i'm afraid to cut any class at all... anyway, when i reached class, we were also dismissed to watch the game at the central plaza... heck! the crowd, the cheers, the shouts... wish i had gone to the stadium!!! anyway, i went half way thru the third quarter before leaving dlsu... feu was in the lead with 58-51... on the way home, i had called jira twice to check on the scores... 59 all at the end of the third... guess i was too hooked up to today's game that i almost literally ran home from school... we passed 3 red lights along taft avenue and i ran when i was supposed to walk...
i reached home, watched the remaining 4 minutes of the fourth quarter... santos... grr... hahaha!!! no, just kidding! i actually admire his three-points! swak na swak!!! anyway, last two minutes, 73 all... feu ball and whapak!!! santos shoots a three pointer but misses this time, feu players below the net... need i say more... 2 more points for feu!!! wah!!! with 5 seconds left, i left the room and i knew the results...
75-73... the De La Salle Green Archers lost the first game of the finals against FEU this 68th season of the UAAP... depressing... but never the less, i saw what happened afterwards... great game archers and tamaraws! i'm looking forward to the next game! :D
engcal test tomorrow and englicom roll the dice during the evening... i need to study...
by the way... tickets for the next game on thurs... i wanna watch!!!
Wednesday, September 28, 2005
ouch
my head hurts... again...
why am i so unlucky? actually, i'm the one who's making my life miserable...
while erasing some reminders in my cellphone's calendar awhile ago, what i saw were acquaintance parties, general assemblies, talks... and stuff... then while going back further in time... i saw orientations, lpep... enrollment... then opening of classes in sj... i guess i still haven't gotten myself to erase those kind of stuff... i mean, graduation, last mass, retreat... those stuff are still in my cellphone's calendar, it will be alarming every year... reminding me of the glorious past i spent in sj... i still can't bring myself to erase them... i mean, i erase those parties and stuff... why can't i erase such simple "graduation day"? i guess because it matters... it matters not only to me, but also to those friends and people who have spent it with me... last mass... last lunch... guess sj still haunts me... over and over again...
"a beautiful life... is to cherish and not to compare..." a very... tama sa akin e... i can't seem to stop comparing... i can't seem to stop reminiscing... i can't seem to stop wandering back in time... asking for those times we spent at intramuros for our variety show, those times we practiced our passion play over and over again, those times when me and best stay on the third floor early in the morning to help each other in studying, those times that i cram every character i see in my Chinese notebook, those times in the Chinese comp lab where we wreck the already wrecked pcs... gyahahahhaha!!! those were the days!!!
and now it's teachers day... i know i'm not in high school anymore and we don't celebrate it in college... i still want to say thanks to the teachers who have given me a lot of new, fun things to learn...
Happy Teachers' Day!!! thanks for touching our lives!
why am i so unlucky? actually, i'm the one who's making my life miserable...
while erasing some reminders in my cellphone's calendar awhile ago, what i saw were acquaintance parties, general assemblies, talks... and stuff... then while going back further in time... i saw orientations, lpep... enrollment... then opening of classes in sj... i guess i still haven't gotten myself to erase those kind of stuff... i mean, graduation, last mass, retreat... those stuff are still in my cellphone's calendar, it will be alarming every year... reminding me of the glorious past i spent in sj... i still can't bring myself to erase them... i mean, i erase those parties and stuff... why can't i erase such simple "graduation day"? i guess because it matters... it matters not only to me, but also to those friends and people who have spent it with me... last mass... last lunch... guess sj still haunts me... over and over again...
"a beautiful life... is to cherish and not to compare..." a very... tama sa akin e... i can't seem to stop comparing... i can't seem to stop reminiscing... i can't seem to stop wandering back in time... asking for those times we spent at intramuros for our variety show, those times we practiced our passion play over and over again, those times when me and best stay on the third floor early in the morning to help each other in studying, those times that i cram every character i see in my Chinese notebook, those times in the Chinese comp lab where we wreck the already wrecked pcs... gyahahahhaha!!! those were the days!!!
and now it's teachers day... i know i'm not in high school anymore and we don't celebrate it in college... i still want to say thanks to the teachers who have given me a lot of new, fun things to learn...
Happy Teachers' Day!!! thanks for touching our lives!
Sunday, September 25, 2005
think...
it's been a long time since i shared something...
ponder for this for a while... "To hear you stumble when you speak or see you walk with two left feet That's when I love you I love you endlessly"
it's a part of the song "That's When" by Aslyn... actually, i have posted the lyrics of the song a few days ago... i have mistakenly downloaded it from the net... not knowing what it really is or how it sounded like... but as soon as i heard it, wow... i'm stunned and i just listened... i played it over and over again... i think everyone in the house have memorized it already!!!
anyway, that's not why i'm writing this entry... i'm writing this entry because of the song... the lyrics... and myself...
it's the song i want to dedicate to coin/hiroshi-kun... it's everything i want to say to him... to my best... if i have the chance to learn how to play an instrument and perform the song in front of him... i would! i sure would...
i miss his smile, his eyes, his voice... i miss seeing him dance, walk, perform... i miss his humor, his charm, his care... i simply miss him... i always do actually... and it seems that i shouldn't be carrying this any longer... i'm becoming a nuisance in his life... at least i think so... i hope not... wah! i don't know what to do anymore!!! i'm afraid to hold my mobile because everytime i get hold of it and press the pad, i send messages... even though nonsense messages to him... but mind you, all the messages i send are all true... it all comes from the bottom of my heart... i sometimes find myself in another world... a world where i'm the one ruling it... in reality, i space out... i space out alot nowadays... thinking... thinking... i hate it!!! and yet i love it... i love the feeling that i know someone loves me... love the feeling that i know someone cares... i love the feeling that i love someone more than anything in the world... i love the feeling of caring for someone with all my heart... i love the feeling of worrying for someone... i love the feeling of longing for someone's touch... i always remember everything we did since the day we met... i actually remember stuff that are of no importance to me in the past... i love rushing into the week and waking up on a weekend even though i have to attend our cwts class because i know that i will be going to sj after classes... i have the chance to see him again... i love to bake and having someone in mind... someone who will have a bite of what i'm baking and thank me for it... i love to bake and fill it with my love knowing that someone i love will be the one eating them... in short, i love to think! because when i think, i feel all these... even though i sometimes cry when i think, i know it's all going to be fine... because i know that my best is there for me...
"love yah!"
ponder for this for a while... "To hear you stumble when you speak or see you walk with two left feet That's when I love you I love you endlessly"
it's a part of the song "That's When" by Aslyn... actually, i have posted the lyrics of the song a few days ago... i have mistakenly downloaded it from the net... not knowing what it really is or how it sounded like... but as soon as i heard it, wow... i'm stunned and i just listened... i played it over and over again... i think everyone in the house have memorized it already!!!
anyway, that's not why i'm writing this entry... i'm writing this entry because of the song... the lyrics... and myself...
it's the song i want to dedicate to coin/hiroshi-kun... it's everything i want to say to him... to my best... if i have the chance to learn how to play an instrument and perform the song in front of him... i would! i sure would...
i miss his smile, his eyes, his voice... i miss seeing him dance, walk, perform... i miss his humor, his charm, his care... i simply miss him... i always do actually... and it seems that i shouldn't be carrying this any longer... i'm becoming a nuisance in his life... at least i think so... i hope not... wah! i don't know what to do anymore!!! i'm afraid to hold my mobile because everytime i get hold of it and press the pad, i send messages... even though nonsense messages to him... but mind you, all the messages i send are all true... it all comes from the bottom of my heart... i sometimes find myself in another world... a world where i'm the one ruling it... in reality, i space out... i space out alot nowadays... thinking... thinking... i hate it!!! and yet i love it... i love the feeling that i know someone loves me... love the feeling that i know someone cares... i love the feeling that i love someone more than anything in the world... i love the feeling of caring for someone with all my heart... i love the feeling of worrying for someone... i love the feeling of longing for someone's touch... i always remember everything we did since the day we met... i actually remember stuff that are of no importance to me in the past... i love rushing into the week and waking up on a weekend even though i have to attend our cwts class because i know that i will be going to sj after classes... i have the chance to see him again... i love to bake and having someone in mind... someone who will have a bite of what i'm baking and thank me for it... i love to bake and fill it with my love knowing that someone i love will be the one eating them... in short, i love to think! because when i think, i feel all these... even though i sometimes cry when i think, i know it's all going to be fine... because i know that my best is there for me...
"love yah!"
74-57
74... 57... random numbers? not for fellow lasallians and ateneans!!! this has been the result of today's final four game of uaap season 68!!! the dlsu green archers will now be appearing in the finals once more and will have the chance to reign as the uaap champions once again!
the first two quarters of the game was, well... kind of exciting because of the constant exchange of lead between the two teams. when the third quarter came, the dlsu green archers swept admu blue eagles off their feet as they extended the lead to 6 pts... 10 pts... 13 pts and until the end of the game, 17 pts!!!
anyway, i'm really not a game reporter... so... that ends this entry! :D
animo la salle!!!
the first two quarters of the game was, well... kind of exciting because of the constant exchange of lead between the two teams. when the third quarter came, the dlsu green archers swept admu blue eagles off their feet as they extended the lead to 6 pts... 10 pts... 13 pts and until the end of the game, 17 pts!!!
anyway, i'm really not a game reporter... so... that ends this entry! :D
animo la salle!!!
Saturday, September 24, 2005
roll the dice!!!
just got home from a family get together... father's side. you know what, although some people may dread family reunions, i enjoy going to get togethers in my father's side. know why? bcause of the very huge family tree i never get to know each and everyone of my cousins. i often confuse names and faces. and besides the countless nephews, nieces and cousins being added to the family, i never seem to meet everyone. time flies by so fast that it seems just like yesterday that we were all wearing red dresses for the girls and red polos for the boys and going to our grand dad's birthday...
anyway, at that get together, we spent it at our cousin's place (sa pe) in q.c. birthday kasi ni atsi aimee and mom niya... anyway, lots of food!!! prawns, fresh scallops, salmon and a lot more... those are my faves kaya yun lang na tandaan ko :P anyway, after eating and singing happy birthday, we played pua tiong tsiu... fun fun and fun!!! main goal... get the first prize!!! but then, hanggang third prize lang ako and consolations... dalawa 3rd prize ko a!!! hahaha!!! we were all beaten by our three-year-old nephew, ethaine!!! that kid is so lucky!!!
anyway, i did not only see ethaine or harvey (baby cousin) but also i get to see annika, our 1 year and six months niece! so cute!!! sorry, i didn't have the chance to get a photo of her this time... maybe next time. :P
oh! some of our cousins have introduced their gfs to the family already and well, are treated like one of the family already... actually, fiances... about to get married soon... i wonder when wil the time come that i am the one introducing someone to my dad?! joke!!! :D a terrible one in fact... hahahah!!! i was just wondering... nothing wrong with that!
anyway, at that get together, we spent it at our cousin's place (sa pe) in q.c. birthday kasi ni atsi aimee and mom niya... anyway, lots of food!!! prawns, fresh scallops, salmon and a lot more... those are my faves kaya yun lang na tandaan ko :P anyway, after eating and singing happy birthday, we played pua tiong tsiu... fun fun and fun!!! main goal... get the first prize!!! but then, hanggang third prize lang ako and consolations... dalawa 3rd prize ko a!!! hahaha!!! we were all beaten by our three-year-old nephew, ethaine!!! that kid is so lucky!!!
anyway, i did not only see ethaine or harvey (baby cousin) but also i get to see annika, our 1 year and six months niece! so cute!!! sorry, i didn't have the chance to get a photo of her this time... maybe next time. :P
oh! some of our cousins have introduced their gfs to the family already and well, are treated like one of the family already... actually, fiances... about to get married soon... i wonder when wil the time come that i am the one introducing someone to my dad?! joke!!! :D a terrible one in fact... hahahah!!! i was just wondering... nothing wrong with that!
rainy saturday
heck... i really need to talk to someone right now...
anyway, today is a rainy saturday! since i have been able to put a simple border in my pic and made it into an avatar with my name, i didn't seem to have stop from editing and making avatars... i even colored something using photoshop!!! hahaha!!! kinacareer na ba?! anyway, here they are...
all of them are avatars though not the same size :D
i miss everything that have been a part of my past... i miss even the smaller details... like the note mau gave me back in first year... the florante at laura plays which caused the batch to have spaced a little... the Christmas decoration contest in third year... the passion play in fourth year and the English program... anyway, i won't start this again... i'll stop right here! you guys get the point... :D
Happy Birthday Clarzi!
anyway, today is a rainy saturday! since i have been able to put a simple border in my pic and made it into an avatar with my name, i didn't seem to have stop from editing and making avatars... i even colored something using photoshop!!! hahaha!!! kinacareer na ba?! anyway, here they are...
all of them are avatars though not the same size :D
i miss everything that have been a part of my past... i miss even the smaller details... like the note mau gave me back in first year... the florante at laura plays which caused the batch to have spaced a little... the Christmas decoration contest in third year... the passion play in fourth year and the English program... anyway, i won't start this again... i'll stop right here! you guys get the point... :D
Happy Birthday Clarzi!
Thursday, September 22, 2005
photoshop
i would like to welcome myself as a photoshop user officially!
my first project...
i may not be perfect, but i'm still me!
my first project...
i may not be perfect, but i'm still me!
never been sadder...
in all my life, these days must be the worst days of my life... i have never been sadder... ever! i miss my friends, i hate my block (turns out it's not a mood swing...), i have trouble concentrating because of the noise and i miss my best very very much!!!
i know that these isn't much for some... some may be having their lives crumbling down by now... i know i'm shallow but still...
i know i'm not perfect, but still, i am me... i don't care what others may think or what they want to think... i'm me and i learned how to love myself... what's more, i really don't care because i know that my best loves me more than anybody can...
i know that these isn't much for some... some may be having their lives crumbling down by now... i know i'm shallow but still...
i know i'm not perfect, but still, i am me... i don't care what others may think or what they want to think... i'm me and i learned how to love myself... what's more, i really don't care because i know that my best loves me more than anybody can...
Wednesday, September 21, 2005
hard to get along
am i so hard to get along with?!
i mean, i know i've got a lot of friends... a few close friends and only one best... but making new friends is no big deal for me... i mean, i socialize most of the time... it is seldom that i isolate myself from others... and when that time comes, i have a good reason why... i hate the people around me already and most probably too pissed off at the group surrounding me...
i'm not that hard to get along with, in fact, i'm one of the carefree people around... i don't really care who you are, where you came from... i get along with people quite well... i even tell the person if i don't like them face to face... i mean, am i so hard to understand?! i know i don't ave a specific barkada... i don't mingle with a group of people for a long time... i'm just like a butterfly who fly from one flower to another... wandering aimlessly to get to know different kind of people. just like in the book, "The Little Prince", i wander from place to place to find a friend... i don't stay on that place for long, i wander as soon as i want to... it's not because of selfish reasons, it's because i want to be a friend to everyone... i want to explore and gain knowledge about the things i'm not familiar to... even as a kid, i don't have a clique... i'm even lucky if a particular group of people like me for who i am... i guess there are only a few people who really understands me before they judge me...
college life is really different from highschool! high school is fun... enjoyable and a time to treasure everything that you do... it is when i enjoyed my life to the fullest... and i thought it would be fun to get away from it all and leave for a fun-filled time in college... i guess i was really wrong... totally wrong!!! i'm pissed off at my block... i won't go into details but i just am... i know people who owns blog are not this straight forward specially since the people they are talking about can read the entry... sorry, prangka ako e... i know the feeling is mutual, the block doesn't like me too... so i guess there aren't any hard feelings, huh? not everyone in the block pisses me off... in fact, they are pretty ok... as INDIVIDUALS!!! as a group... forget it!!! i HATE my block!!!
so there... a pretty pissed off mysh here... good thing i never thought of pushing myself to like them and to get the chance to be close to them... i still prefer Judenites... ah, high school... if only i could go back...
Happy Birthday Andrew!!!
i mean, i know i've got a lot of friends... a few close friends and only one best... but making new friends is no big deal for me... i mean, i socialize most of the time... it is seldom that i isolate myself from others... and when that time comes, i have a good reason why... i hate the people around me already and most probably too pissed off at the group surrounding me...
i'm not that hard to get along with, in fact, i'm one of the carefree people around... i don't really care who you are, where you came from... i get along with people quite well... i even tell the person if i don't like them face to face... i mean, am i so hard to understand?! i know i don't ave a specific barkada... i don't mingle with a group of people for a long time... i'm just like a butterfly who fly from one flower to another... wandering aimlessly to get to know different kind of people. just like in the book, "The Little Prince", i wander from place to place to find a friend... i don't stay on that place for long, i wander as soon as i want to... it's not because of selfish reasons, it's because i want to be a friend to everyone... i want to explore and gain knowledge about the things i'm not familiar to... even as a kid, i don't have a clique... i'm even lucky if a particular group of people like me for who i am... i guess there are only a few people who really understands me before they judge me...
college life is really different from highschool! high school is fun... enjoyable and a time to treasure everything that you do... it is when i enjoyed my life to the fullest... and i thought it would be fun to get away from it all and leave for a fun-filled time in college... i guess i was really wrong... totally wrong!!! i'm pissed off at my block... i won't go into details but i just am... i know people who owns blog are not this straight forward specially since the people they are talking about can read the entry... sorry, prangka ako e... i know the feeling is mutual, the block doesn't like me too... so i guess there aren't any hard feelings, huh? not everyone in the block pisses me off... in fact, they are pretty ok... as INDIVIDUALS!!! as a group... forget it!!! i HATE my block!!!
so there... a pretty pissed off mysh here... good thing i never thought of pushing myself to like them and to get the chance to be close to them... i still prefer Judenites... ah, high school... if only i could go back...
Happy Birthday Andrew!!!
Tuesday, September 20, 2005
lyrics
If I'm Not In Love
Faith Hill
If I'm not in love with you
What is this I'm going through, tonight
And if my heart is lying then
What should I believe in
Why do I go crazy
Every time I think about you baby
Why else do I want you like I do
If I'm not in love with you
And if I don't need your touch
Why do I miss you so much, tonight
If it's just infatuation then
Why is my heart achin'
To hold you forever
Give a part of me I thought I'd never
Give again to someone I could lose
If I'm not in love with you
Oh why in every fantasy
Do I feel your arms embracing me
Lovers lost in sweet desire
Oh why in dreams do I surrender
Like a little baby
Someone help explain this feeling
Someone tell me
If I'm not in love with you
What is this I'm going through, tonight
And if my heart is lying then
What should I believe in
Why do I go crazy
Every time I think about you baby
Why else do I want you like I, I do
If I'm not in love with you
That's When
Aslyn
When you have to look away
When you don't have much to say
That's when I love you
I love you
Just that way
To hear you stumble when you speak
or see you walk with two left feet
That's when I love you
I love you endlessly
And when you're mad cause you lost a game
Forget im waiting in the rain
Baby I love you
I love you anyway
Cause here's my promise made tonight
You can count on me for life
Cause that's when I love you
When nothing you do could change my mind
The more I learn the more I love
The more my heart can't get enough
That's when I love you
When I love you no matter what
So when you turn to hide your eyes
Cause the movie, it made you cry
That's when I love you
I love you a little more each time
And when you can't quite match your clothes
Or when you laugh at your own jokes
That's when I love you
I love you more than you know
And when you forget that we had a date
Or that look that you give when you show up late
Baby I love you
I love you anyway
Cause here's my promise made tonight
You can count on me for life
Cause that's when I love you
When nothing you do could change my mind
The more I learn the more I love
The more my heart can't get enough
That's when I love you
When I love you no matter what
That's when I love you
When nothing baby
Nothing you do could change my mind
The more I learn the more i love
The more my heart can't get enough
Thats when I love you
When I love you
No matter what
No matter what
Faith Hill
If I'm not in love with you
What is this I'm going through, tonight
And if my heart is lying then
What should I believe in
Why do I go crazy
Every time I think about you baby
Why else do I want you like I do
If I'm not in love with you
And if I don't need your touch
Why do I miss you so much, tonight
If it's just infatuation then
Why is my heart achin'
To hold you forever
Give a part of me I thought I'd never
Give again to someone I could lose
If I'm not in love with you
Oh why in every fantasy
Do I feel your arms embracing me
Lovers lost in sweet desire
Oh why in dreams do I surrender
Like a little baby
Someone help explain this feeling
Someone tell me
If I'm not in love with you
What is this I'm going through, tonight
And if my heart is lying then
What should I believe in
Why do I go crazy
Every time I think about you baby
Why else do I want you like I, I do
If I'm not in love with you
That's When
Aslyn
When you have to look away
When you don't have much to say
That's when I love you
I love you
Just that way
To hear you stumble when you speak
or see you walk with two left feet
That's when I love you
I love you endlessly
And when you're mad cause you lost a game
Forget im waiting in the rain
Baby I love you
I love you anyway
Cause here's my promise made tonight
You can count on me for life
Cause that's when I love you
When nothing you do could change my mind
The more I learn the more I love
The more my heart can't get enough
That's when I love you
When I love you no matter what
So when you turn to hide your eyes
Cause the movie, it made you cry
That's when I love you
I love you a little more each time
And when you can't quite match your clothes
Or when you laugh at your own jokes
That's when I love you
I love you more than you know
And when you forget that we had a date
Or that look that you give when you show up late
Baby I love you
I love you anyway
Cause here's my promise made tonight
You can count on me for life
Cause that's when I love you
When nothing you do could change my mind
The more I learn the more I love
The more my heart can't get enough
That's when I love you
When I love you no matter what
That's when I love you
When nothing baby
Nothing you do could change my mind
The more I learn the more i love
The more my heart can't get enough
Thats when I love you
When I love you
No matter what
No matter what
advent children syndrome...
"If you could only give me a minute, no, just 10 seconds and be the YOU I used to know... Because I miss you so much and we never got to say goodbye..."
anyway, advent children syndrome... cloud is simply stunning!!! i have like watched the movie for three times already!!! sabi nga, if someone in the real life is as stunning as cloud, i bet he will have a lot of gorgeous gals fighting over him!!! i mean, heck, someone that serious could be so irresistible!!! he seldom smiles, tipid pa nga kung nagsmile... he's cool with the motor cycle and countless variety of swords and he's mobile which he never did have the chance to get again... muscular physique, not bulging but just right... heck!!! did you notice his sexy bod?! drool-city!!! i know that he's just CG and all... but i can't help thinking what if i know someone as hunaky as he is?! dinger!!! cloud strife...
vincent!!! another one!!! the seriousness and the scary eyes simply bores thru my skin... makes me tingle all over!!! not to mention the long hair and the super cool red cape!!! plus being a vampire just adds to his charm... not to mention his gun!!! wah!!! super cool CG!!! wonder where i can find a vincent valentine look alike in this life?
anyway, admiring CGs again... it's like i don't know how to judge guys in real life and yet i go for CGs and anime... i have a problem here!!! not really... childish lang! :D
watashi wa anata ga suki desu, hiro-kun!!! honti ni... eien ni...
anyway, advent children syndrome... cloud is simply stunning!!! i have like watched the movie for three times already!!! sabi nga, if someone in the real life is as stunning as cloud, i bet he will have a lot of gorgeous gals fighting over him!!! i mean, heck, someone that serious could be so irresistible!!! he seldom smiles, tipid pa nga kung nagsmile... he's cool with the motor cycle and countless variety of swords and he's mobile which he never did have the chance to get again... muscular physique, not bulging but just right... heck!!! did you notice his sexy bod?! drool-city!!! i know that he's just CG and all... but i can't help thinking what if i know someone as hunaky as he is?! dinger!!! cloud strife...
vincent!!! another one!!! the seriousness and the scary eyes simply bores thru my skin... makes me tingle all over!!! not to mention the long hair and the super cool red cape!!! plus being a vampire just adds to his charm... not to mention his gun!!! wah!!! super cool CG!!! wonder where i can find a vincent valentine look alike in this life?
anyway, admiring CGs again... it's like i don't know how to judge guys in real life and yet i go for CGs and anime... i have a problem here!!! not really... childish lang! :D
watashi wa anata ga suki desu, hiro-kun!!! honti ni... eien ni...
Monday, September 19, 2005
a true friend
i received this thru an e-mail and i just thought of posting it here.
A TRUE FRIEND.
>is always concerned with everything you do.
>is always to call during good times and bad times.
>tells you the truth about yourself.
>knows what you are going through at all times.
>is genuinely happy for you when things go well.
>tries to cheer you up when things are blue.
>is an extension of yourself without which you not complete.
>never leave each other.
>never part just sometimes sit silently deep within each others heart saying..."I AM STILL HERE."
although i think i have read this somewhere already and i know it's kind of sappy even for me... heck, have you found a true friend already? i know i did... not only one... but a lot.
A TRUE FRIEND.
>is always concerned with everything you do.
>is always to call during good times and bad times.
>tells you the truth about yourself.
>knows what you are going through at all times.
>is genuinely happy for you when things go well.
>tries to cheer you up when things are blue.
>is an extension of yourself without which you not complete.
>never leave each other.
>never part just sometimes sit silently deep within each others heart saying..."I AM STILL HERE."
although i think i have read this somewhere already and i know it's kind of sappy even for me... heck, have you found a true friend already? i know i did... not only one... but a lot.
Sunday, September 18, 2005
final fantasy vii ac 2
woah!!! i've finished downloading and watching final fantasy vii advent children... after the long waits!!! gyhahahaha!!!
critic... critic... what can i say about the movie?! simply the best animated movie ever!!! i can't believe the animation... as in, it's totally rad... awesome... basta beyond words!!! some parts really came to life and as if i was in the place it self!!! it's nice... really nice... :D
cloud strife... tifa lockheart... aeris gainsborough... ala lang... even non-ff players could understand the storyline because of the recap during the start of the show... really... it's a must watch movie!!! it's worth the wait... it's really worth the wait... i simply love it!!!
critic... critic... what can i say about the movie?! simply the best animated movie ever!!! i can't believe the animation... as in, it's totally rad... awesome... basta beyond words!!! some parts really came to life and as if i was in the place it self!!! it's nice... really nice... :D
cloud strife... tifa lockheart... aeris gainsborough... ala lang... even non-ff players could understand the storyline because of the recap during the start of the show... really... it's a must watch movie!!! it's worth the wait... it's really worth the wait... i simply love it!!!
final fantasy vii ac
what have i been up to lately really? books, pens, calculators, articles, scratch papers and the net... what do i have?! engcal (calculus), ansogeo (analytical geometry), chemone (chemistry), kaspil2 (philippine history), solving, reading and heck, not blogging but downloading...
wow... my life has really changed!!! since summer, all i could ever think off is "where shall i spend my day tomorrow?" then classes started, "i wish i'm back in SJ with my friends..." then the midterms, "just a little more honey..." then the finals, "DOOMSDAY!!!" the course card distribution, "ala na ako pag asa..." after getting the course cards, "where to go next? party!!!"then the sem break, "shopping galore and super ultimate lakwatsa spree!!!"
take a look at me now... you can see me studying and reading a few pages ahead for class... status in ym, "VeRy BuSy!!!"... cellphone beeping *ignore* or *don't hear*... blogging *no time*... i'm merely online because i'm downloading something... what is it? the ever awaited (for my part anyway) Final Fantasy VII: Advent Children... wah! after 3 days of downloading it, i'm still up to 66.3% as of now... well, it's faster tonight compared to last night... so i guess i'm making progress... :D i stayed up pretty late last night waiting for this thing to pack it up, have it done (hopefully but not possibly) by today... guess i fail mundo big time huh? oh well... i'm not yet an over acheiver... note, NOT YET... why not yet? because i think i will go that far to get what i want... i'm a very determined person... stubborn as well... anyway, what i really want now is to fulfill my desires in life... what are those desires?!
well, man in nature is insatiable anyway so, as of now, my desires include:
1. finishing my fiction From the Outside Looking In and giving it a nice plot... as of now, i still think that the concept is boring, passe and just plain... common... i want it to be unique and simply out of the ordinary... something that people cannot predict what could happen next, something that could pull them to come back and read my updates... i know i'm not that good of a writer... i can't even put in the description in the story... the least i could do is let my imagination run wild and free...
2. buying some new things... i'm not really sure what those "things" are, but one thing for sure, i'm going to buy a ring for Christmas! how could i do that?! by earning money... how?! by budgeting my allowance per day... and how could i earn enough if i keep on using my atm card and withdraw from a machine whenever i need cash?! nonsense mysh... (talking to myself) smarten up!!!
3. baking so much cookies and putting them in a cookie jar... i must admit, i, myself, is a big fan of my baking! not to brag or anything, heck, i get the recipes off the net, i can't call it my own... i call them little experiments since baking is also somewhat similar to chemistry... you measure stuff and mix them, produce a compound and then there will be physical or chemical change in property... right?! ok, even i'm creeping myself out!!! but honestly, i enjoy the cookies i bake over some store bought cookies with the exceptions of Chips Ahoy and Mrs. Fields!
4. going to places... even though i have repeatedly say that i will be more focused on my studies and less gimiks, i still can't help but crave to step out of the house and spend some quality time with friends... i have enough me-time in DLSU already... oh, did i ever mention that i am a loner in our block?! gyahahaha!!! well, i am... i'm not much into socializing with them, i can't really relate cause most of them only knows how to talk about DOTA and well... i don't want to be too attached with another group of people all over again cause this time, 13 years will be like forever... cause come next term, i doubt that we will all still be together... even in some classes, i think it's rare... right?!
5. caring for someone... ok, i may seem very off here... but i do like that feeling that you constantly care for someone... that i worry about someone sometimes... ok, most of the time... stop right here!!!
6. and the last one and the most important thing for me as of now?! finishing downloading this movie!!! (68.4% na!!! improvement!) i really really really want to watch this as soon as possible... i can't wait!!! argh!!! ok, i've been waiting for a year (maybe) now and could wait for a few more days... right? ... .... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... who am i kidding?! i can't wait much longer!!! i want it now!!! darn it... (68.6%) ok... i'm getting really sleepy...
it seems that i have been thinking again... i thought of 2 questions asked to me awhile ago by Kenevvy and Johanna while we were walking to EGI...
1. "Mysh, mahal na mahal na mahal na mahal... mo pa ba si ? ?"
2. "Maipagpapalit mo ba siya?"
heck with my answers...
1. "Hindi, oo, ewan ko, hindi ko na alam..."
2. "Oo! With money!"
heck with my answers!!! they answered for me...
1. "Duh?! tinatanong pa ba yun?!"
2. "ulol!!! kaw?!" or something like that...
my real answers...
1. "oo... as in sobra!"
2. "hinding hindi ko maipagpapalit yun kahit gustuhin ko man..."
you see?! what's in my mind i can't blurt out when i know that i need to tell it... i simply create a barrier so thin that anyone can pass thru it and reach for the real me... (70.1%) i said last time... "tatanggalin ko na sagabal sa buhay ko" what's the obstacle in my life anyway?! i run my life and i see no obstacles ahead... no hindrance... it's all clear... the path i can't take is the sides... why? because someone's running along side with me and never leaving me alone...
why am i talking about this anyway?! ... i'm just sleepy... (70.9%) besides... it's 01:53 am already... and last night i slept at around 02:00 am and woke up at 07:30 am for my class... i really am just sleepy... i could be in bed right now if i could only be a little more than patient... but no... i'm not patient... i want it now!!! oh, i'm talking about the movie... (71.4%) nearly there!!! gosh!!! don't know what to do anymore... 'm sleepy and i'm bored... i guess i really have to continue this download tomorrow... only a few more and it's done!!! wah!!! i can watch it na!!! eek! i'm so excited for myself!!!
me, myself and i... 10 random trivia before i really sum up this entry:
1. i love looking at my shadow... not reflection but shadow...
2. i love doing nothing but hate doing nothing...
3. i love to be busy but i hate to be busy...
4. i love my hair today!!! but i started the morning hating it...
5. i can't wait to buy all the things i need for school tomorrow... and yet i like to sleep in tomorrow...
6. i love baking but i hate waiting...
7. i love writing but i hate my poetry and fiction...
8. i love to learn how to play the guitar ... no, no buts here...
9. i would like to learn how to cook... and yet i seem to be enjoying mem right now...
10. original plan in life... be a millionaire at the age of 18 and die... plan in life now, live and enjoy it! (72.3%)
wow... my life has really changed!!! since summer, all i could ever think off is "where shall i spend my day tomorrow?" then classes started, "i wish i'm back in SJ with my friends..." then the midterms, "just a little more honey..." then the finals, "DOOMSDAY!!!" the course card distribution, "ala na ako pag asa..." after getting the course cards, "where to go next? party!!!"then the sem break, "shopping galore and super ultimate lakwatsa spree!!!"
take a look at me now... you can see me studying and reading a few pages ahead for class... status in ym, "VeRy BuSy!!!"... cellphone beeping *ignore* or *don't hear*... blogging *no time*... i'm merely online because i'm downloading something... what is it? the ever awaited (for my part anyway) Final Fantasy VII: Advent Children... wah! after 3 days of downloading it, i'm still up to 66.3% as of now... well, it's faster tonight compared to last night... so i guess i'm making progress... :D i stayed up pretty late last night waiting for this thing to pack it up, have it done (hopefully but not possibly) by today... guess i fail mundo big time huh? oh well... i'm not yet an over acheiver... note, NOT YET... why not yet? because i think i will go that far to get what i want... i'm a very determined person... stubborn as well... anyway, what i really want now is to fulfill my desires in life... what are those desires?!
well, man in nature is insatiable anyway so, as of now, my desires include:
1. finishing my fiction From the Outside Looking In and giving it a nice plot... as of now, i still think that the concept is boring, passe and just plain... common... i want it to be unique and simply out of the ordinary... something that people cannot predict what could happen next, something that could pull them to come back and read my updates... i know i'm not that good of a writer... i can't even put in the description in the story... the least i could do is let my imagination run wild and free...
2. buying some new things... i'm not really sure what those "things" are, but one thing for sure, i'm going to buy a ring for Christmas! how could i do that?! by earning money... how?! by budgeting my allowance per day... and how could i earn enough if i keep on using my atm card and withdraw from a machine whenever i need cash?! nonsense mysh... (talking to myself) smarten up!!!
3. baking so much cookies and putting them in a cookie jar... i must admit, i, myself, is a big fan of my baking! not to brag or anything, heck, i get the recipes off the net, i can't call it my own... i call them little experiments since baking is also somewhat similar to chemistry... you measure stuff and mix them, produce a compound and then there will be physical or chemical change in property... right?! ok, even i'm creeping myself out!!! but honestly, i enjoy the cookies i bake over some store bought cookies with the exceptions of Chips Ahoy and Mrs. Fields!
4. going to places... even though i have repeatedly say that i will be more focused on my studies and less gimiks, i still can't help but crave to step out of the house and spend some quality time with friends... i have enough me-time in DLSU already... oh, did i ever mention that i am a loner in our block?! gyahahaha!!! well, i am... i'm not much into socializing with them, i can't really relate cause most of them only knows how to talk about DOTA and well... i don't want to be too attached with another group of people all over again cause this time, 13 years will be like forever... cause come next term, i doubt that we will all still be together... even in some classes, i think it's rare... right?!
5. caring for someone... ok, i may seem very off here... but i do like that feeling that you constantly care for someone... that i worry about someone sometimes... ok, most of the time... stop right here!!!
6. and the last one and the most important thing for me as of now?! finishing downloading this movie!!! (68.4% na!!! improvement!) i really really really want to watch this as soon as possible... i can't wait!!! argh!!! ok, i've been waiting for a year (maybe) now and could wait for a few more days... right? ... .... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... who am i kidding?! i can't wait much longer!!! i want it now!!! darn it... (68.6%) ok... i'm getting really sleepy...
it seems that i have been thinking again... i thought of 2 questions asked to me awhile ago by Kenevvy and Johanna while we were walking to EGI...
1. "Mysh, mahal na mahal na mahal na mahal... mo pa ba si ? ?"
2. "Maipagpapalit mo ba siya?"
heck with my answers...
1. "Hindi, oo, ewan ko, hindi ko na alam..."
2. "Oo! With money!"
heck with my answers!!! they answered for me...
1. "Duh?! tinatanong pa ba yun?!"
2. "ulol!!! kaw?!" or something like that...
my real answers...
1. "oo... as in sobra!"
2. "hinding hindi ko maipagpapalit yun kahit gustuhin ko man..."
you see?! what's in my mind i can't blurt out when i know that i need to tell it... i simply create a barrier so thin that anyone can pass thru it and reach for the real me... (70.1%) i said last time... "tatanggalin ko na sagabal sa buhay ko" what's the obstacle in my life anyway?! i run my life and i see no obstacles ahead... no hindrance... it's all clear... the path i can't take is the sides... why? because someone's running along side with me and never leaving me alone...
why am i talking about this anyway?! ... i'm just sleepy... (70.9%) besides... it's 01:53 am already... and last night i slept at around 02:00 am and woke up at 07:30 am for my class... i really am just sleepy... i could be in bed right now if i could only be a little more than patient... but no... i'm not patient... i want it now!!! oh, i'm talking about the movie... (71.4%) nearly there!!! gosh!!! don't know what to do anymore... 'm sleepy and i'm bored... i guess i really have to continue this download tomorrow... only a few more and it's done!!! wah!!! i can watch it na!!! eek! i'm so excited for myself!!!
me, myself and i... 10 random trivia before i really sum up this entry:
1. i love looking at my shadow... not reflection but shadow...
2. i love doing nothing but hate doing nothing...
3. i love to be busy but i hate to be busy...
4. i love my hair today!!! but i started the morning hating it...
5. i can't wait to buy all the things i need for school tomorrow... and yet i like to sleep in tomorrow...
6. i love baking but i hate waiting...
7. i love writing but i hate my poetry and fiction...
8. i love to learn how to play the guitar ... no, no buts here...
9. i would like to learn how to cook... and yet i seem to be enjoying mem right now...
10. original plan in life... be a millionaire at the age of 18 and die... plan in life now, live and enjoy it! (72.3%)
Saturday, September 17, 2005
bilog ang mundo
the world is round?! gyahahha!!! ala lang...
according to Kenevvy Te, if someone says "bilog ang mundo", he or she means that there are happy moments and sad moments... true... true...
there are some times in life that you just can't help but think about the things happening around you... the happy memories left in the past, the friends you don't get to see much anymore, the talks you use to have, the walks you used to pass... i guess some times there are just those moments that you just want to remember stuff... go back to the past... and going back to the past doesn't mean you are happy that you got thru all that, nor are you just sad because you miss those times... let's face it, happy memories make you sad and torture memories makes you glad... the world is round...
then there are those things, stuff, events, happenings that just makes you smile... some people who no matter how stupid the stuff they do, they simply can make you smile, make you laugh and make you feel contented with life... i guess those are times that one is on top of everything... that one can say he or she is in cloud nine or can die anytime.... i guess these are just exaggerated gestures and one doesn't really mean it. i mean, does one really want to die in the success of his career?! i guess even i am not that stupid!!! gyahahhaha!!!
then again, there are those times that one simply wants to break down... give everything up... just don't want to live anymore... i think that's plain B*LLSH*T!!! i mean, even i say it... almost everytime... specially if i really feel helpless and hopelessly lost... but still... no one can mean that even at his darkest moment... cause no matter how things may be at their worst, sooner or later, things will turn out right again... the world will once again turn upside down...
i guess the world is round and is continuously in motion... it never stops... sometimes you're at the top and sometimes you're at the bottom... and yet sometimes it's just the boring middle... i guess that's what makes life interesting... fun and simply enjoyable and worth living... i mean, who wants to have a daily routine and everything is predictable... always good, cheerful and happy?! i mean people wants challenges right? people want change even though when it usually comes, we have trouble adjusting and moving on...
i guess the world really is round after all... and right now, i'm at the top even though i still have a lot of things to do... know why?! i won't tell!!!
according to Kenevvy Te, if someone says "bilog ang mundo", he or she means that there are happy moments and sad moments... true... true...
there are some times in life that you just can't help but think about the things happening around you... the happy memories left in the past, the friends you don't get to see much anymore, the talks you use to have, the walks you used to pass... i guess some times there are just those moments that you just want to remember stuff... go back to the past... and going back to the past doesn't mean you are happy that you got thru all that, nor are you just sad because you miss those times... let's face it, happy memories make you sad and torture memories makes you glad... the world is round...
then there are those things, stuff, events, happenings that just makes you smile... some people who no matter how stupid the stuff they do, they simply can make you smile, make you laugh and make you feel contented with life... i guess those are times that one is on top of everything... that one can say he or she is in cloud nine or can die anytime.... i guess these are just exaggerated gestures and one doesn't really mean it. i mean, does one really want to die in the success of his career?! i guess even i am not that stupid!!! gyahahhaha!!!
then again, there are those times that one simply wants to break down... give everything up... just don't want to live anymore... i think that's plain B*LLSH*T!!! i mean, even i say it... almost everytime... specially if i really feel helpless and hopelessly lost... but still... no one can mean that even at his darkest moment... cause no matter how things may be at their worst, sooner or later, things will turn out right again... the world will once again turn upside down...
i guess the world is round and is continuously in motion... it never stops... sometimes you're at the top and sometimes you're at the bottom... and yet sometimes it's just the boring middle... i guess that's what makes life interesting... fun and simply enjoyable and worth living... i mean, who wants to have a daily routine and everything is predictable... always good, cheerful and happy?! i mean people wants challenges right? people want change even though when it usually comes, we have trouble adjusting and moving on...
i guess the world really is round after all... and right now, i'm at the top even though i still have a lot of things to do... know why?! i won't tell!!!
Sunday, September 11, 2005
jeryl's debut
Happy 18th Bit!
more pics at my photos page... :D check it out nalang... may link dyan sa links. :D
Friday, September 09, 2005
excited
hey there! still haven't been to the LTO... and it's already friday... anyway, tomorrow's the debut of two dear friends of mine, Jeryl and Nikki! :D
so, what's with this entry you ask? i'm getting weirder and weirder everyday... i'm excited to go back to dlsu for the second term!!! hahahha!!! i'm the laziest kind there is and i'm excited to go back the grinding place?! heck, something's terribly wrong... anyway, not only that, i'm also excited that i've been given some responsibilities for the next three months... i love it!!!
darn... the last time i checked on mysh, she was the type who doesn't want to get out of bed early in the morning and likes it when she is doing nothing at home... not to mention someone who doesn't want to spend a lot of loot!!!
and now, i see a different mysh, a different me... hindi ako mapakali sa bahay!!! i need to get out once in a while, maybe even a lot more than i need to!!! i learned how to make use of public transportation to go to the places i want to go to. i learned how to shop and eat elegantly... a lot of money... down the drain... the biggest surprise!!! i love to do a lot of things!!! i mean, i'm craving for things to do to occupy myself... to stay busy... i don't even care for my cellphone!!! i don't even have time to play some ps2 games or crimsonland!!! although i played dota a while ago... well, it was just because i had a lot of waiting to do... anyway, it's really a different mysh that i see...
hindi lang yun! the last time i look at myself, i see myself as someone who loves to wear loose shirts and loose khaki pants... paired up with a pair of rubber shoes... plain simple and well, i usually have my hair down or up in a pony tail... seldom do i style it... now, i see myself as someone who loves to shop... for skirts!!! i wear them... sometimes even sleeveless shirts... and a pair of 3-inched sandals or a pair of step ins... i changed... didn't i?
although i know that i'm still me... why is that? i still update my blog, still loves to stay online, watch cartoons, write on my journal, my bed... my friends... they are still important to me... so, i guess i'm still me huh? i still like to cook, bake... what else? i still want a bean bag!!! :P
so, i guess no matter how much i change, i'm still me... still lovable mysh... :D
so, what's with this entry you ask? i'm getting weirder and weirder everyday... i'm excited to go back to dlsu for the second term!!! hahahha!!! i'm the laziest kind there is and i'm excited to go back the grinding place?! heck, something's terribly wrong... anyway, not only that, i'm also excited that i've been given some responsibilities for the next three months... i love it!!!
darn... the last time i checked on mysh, she was the type who doesn't want to get out of bed early in the morning and likes it when she is doing nothing at home... not to mention someone who doesn't want to spend a lot of loot!!!
and now, i see a different mysh, a different me... hindi ako mapakali sa bahay!!! i need to get out once in a while, maybe even a lot more than i need to!!! i learned how to make use of public transportation to go to the places i want to go to. i learned how to shop and eat elegantly... a lot of money... down the drain... the biggest surprise!!! i love to do a lot of things!!! i mean, i'm craving for things to do to occupy myself... to stay busy... i don't even care for my cellphone!!! i don't even have time to play some ps2 games or crimsonland!!! although i played dota a while ago... well, it was just because i had a lot of waiting to do... anyway, it's really a different mysh that i see...
hindi lang yun! the last time i look at myself, i see myself as someone who loves to wear loose shirts and loose khaki pants... paired up with a pair of rubber shoes... plain simple and well, i usually have my hair down or up in a pony tail... seldom do i style it... now, i see myself as someone who loves to shop... for skirts!!! i wear them... sometimes even sleeveless shirts... and a pair of 3-inched sandals or a pair of step ins... i changed... didn't i?
although i know that i'm still me... why is that? i still update my blog, still loves to stay online, watch cartoons, write on my journal, my bed... my friends... they are still important to me... so, i guess i'm still me huh? i still like to cook, bake... what else? i still want a bean bag!!! :P
so, i guess no matter how much i change, i'm still me... still lovable mysh... :D
Wednesday, September 07, 2005
clean up day!
i thought i was supposed to go to the LTO today... woke up at 9 am rushed everything, just to find out that it was postponed til tomorrow... oh well...
spent the day cleaning out my closets and sorting my clothings... it took me about an hour and a half to actually finished everything... then i went to my things... my old journals, my rhgp activities... stuff that i keep that i think i want to go back to in the future... seems that i found my 3rd year rhgp activities... i saw how much i have changed... i mean, we had our activity in filling up college application forms back then... it seemed that my choices were all about psychology... and look at me now! i'm pursuing an engineering course!!! anyway, even though those were my choices then, we took a test on what is the best course for us... i wound up with engineering... guess it was meant to be? i made the right choice! :D then when i was counciled during my 2nd year, said i wanted to be an interior designer i think... then Ms. Tan told me that when i was in my 1st year, i wanted to be a chef or a lawyer... i guess that every year i have a new dream... i never thought of myself becoming an engineer in the future until i was in 4th year... perhaps it was when i really sat down and decided... when i was a kid, i wanted to be a lawyer or a journalist... then a photographer!!! imagine that?! anyway, sorting those papers, i found 3 poems inserted in a clear book... it was my poems... back in third year i think... i made those poems and well... i realized something from my poems...
Moon Smile
While looking at the evening sky,
I saw the moon shining brightly.
Wondering as it caught my eye,
Was it real or was it just me?
I saw the man haunting my dream,
Staring back at me with a smile.
I rubbed my eyes to glance at him,
He was looking back with a smile.
Never did I thought I'd see him again,
Since it was years that have gone by.
He seemed to be stuck in my brain,
I can see why, I can see why.
I don't try hard to leave my past,
I keep coming back for more pain.
All I do is run away fast,
Believing I am still sane.
Yet I looked back at the round moon,
I saw him again with a smile.
Wishing the smile would fade out soon,
I went to sleep with a sad tear.
Messenger if Heaven
As winged messenger of heaven,
Go back; go back,
For I may be wounded again,
By Cupid's act.
A bud of love I then all see,
Love be blinded!
By it's sting an curiosity,
I was once led.
As winged messenger of heaven,
I ask if thee,
Alas, let my load be lightened,
And leave me be.
Past Memories
Glistening like stars in the evening sky,
I quickly fell for those wonderful eyes.
I was staring at you while I sigh,
Leaving me a cold trail, as cold as ice.
What can I say? You're Mr. Wonderful,
Admiring your every move, I was stunned.
You send me smile but I felt like a fool,
Never knowing, it was not to be shunned.
The best things in life, I could share with you,
But it's all left behind, nothing but past.
Now I move on, a future without you,
Nothing but mere memories, past, all past.
Now I know how painful it is to love,
Hoping you'd be rewarded and be loved.
Never ain at me again joyous love,
For I may be burden to you, poor love.
3 poems... compared to "Another Chance" and "Run Away", i guess all of them have a common theme... and yet, I didn't write them all at the same time, same month or even the same year... i guess i felt it again after shunning everything away, huh? All of them talks about love that was never been... one-sided love if you want to call it... anyway, Another Chance and Run Away is dedicated to someone... and so are these three... but they are not the same person... i guess that's the beauty of it, huh? i learned... i learned but not quite everything yet...
** Another Chance was posted on March 24 and the edited one on March 25.
** Run Away was posted on March 27.
spent the day cleaning out my closets and sorting my clothings... it took me about an hour and a half to actually finished everything... then i went to my things... my old journals, my rhgp activities... stuff that i keep that i think i want to go back to in the future... seems that i found my 3rd year rhgp activities... i saw how much i have changed... i mean, we had our activity in filling up college application forms back then... it seemed that my choices were all about psychology... and look at me now! i'm pursuing an engineering course!!! anyway, even though those were my choices then, we took a test on what is the best course for us... i wound up with engineering... guess it was meant to be? i made the right choice! :D then when i was counciled during my 2nd year, said i wanted to be an interior designer i think... then Ms. Tan told me that when i was in my 1st year, i wanted to be a chef or a lawyer... i guess that every year i have a new dream... i never thought of myself becoming an engineer in the future until i was in 4th year... perhaps it was when i really sat down and decided... when i was a kid, i wanted to be a lawyer or a journalist... then a photographer!!! imagine that?! anyway, sorting those papers, i found 3 poems inserted in a clear book... it was my poems... back in third year i think... i made those poems and well... i realized something from my poems...
Moon Smile
While looking at the evening sky,
I saw the moon shining brightly.
Wondering as it caught my eye,
Was it real or was it just me?
I saw the man haunting my dream,
Staring back at me with a smile.
I rubbed my eyes to glance at him,
He was looking back with a smile.
Never did I thought I'd see him again,
Since it was years that have gone by.
He seemed to be stuck in my brain,
I can see why, I can see why.
I don't try hard to leave my past,
I keep coming back for more pain.
All I do is run away fast,
Believing I am still sane.
Yet I looked back at the round moon,
I saw him again with a smile.
Wishing the smile would fade out soon,
I went to sleep with a sad tear.
Messenger if Heaven
As winged messenger of heaven,
Go back; go back,
For I may be wounded again,
By Cupid's act.
A bud of love I then all see,
Love be blinded!
By it's sting an curiosity,
I was once led.
As winged messenger of heaven,
I ask if thee,
Alas, let my load be lightened,
And leave me be.
Past Memories
Glistening like stars in the evening sky,
I quickly fell for those wonderful eyes.
I was staring at you while I sigh,
Leaving me a cold trail, as cold as ice.
What can I say? You're Mr. Wonderful,
Admiring your every move, I was stunned.
You send me smile but I felt like a fool,
Never knowing, it was not to be shunned.
The best things in life, I could share with you,
But it's all left behind, nothing but past.
Now I move on, a future without you,
Nothing but mere memories, past, all past.
Now I know how painful it is to love,
Hoping you'd be rewarded and be loved.
Never ain at me again joyous love,
For I may be burden to you, poor love.
3 poems... compared to "Another Chance" and "Run Away", i guess all of them have a common theme... and yet, I didn't write them all at the same time, same month or even the same year... i guess i felt it again after shunning everything away, huh? All of them talks about love that was never been... one-sided love if you want to call it... anyway, Another Chance and Run Away is dedicated to someone... and so are these three... but they are not the same person... i guess that's the beauty of it, huh? i learned... i learned but not quite everything yet...
** Another Chance was posted on March 24 and the edited one on March 25.
** Run Away was posted on March 27.
Sunday, September 04, 2005
falling in love
Here's a very nice article about love that i cam across in http://www.latestngreatest.net/falling_in_love.htm ... i can't resist but to post it for those people who are too hassled to click the link... it's nice... it's lovely... it's exactly the things i want to say but can't come out... hope the author doesn't mind me posting it here though... oh yeah! thanks! :D
Why people fall in love?
It is a mystery why we fall in love. It is a mystery how it happens. It is a mystery when it comes. It is a mystery why some love grows and it is a mystery why some love fails.
You can analyze this mystery and look for reasons andcauses, but you will never do anymore that take the life out of the experience. Just as life itself is more than the sum of the bones and muscles and electrical impulses in the body, love is more than the sum of the interests and attractions and commonalities that two people share. And just as life itself is a gift that comes and goes in its own time, so too, the coming of love must be taken as an unfathomable gift that cannot be questioned in its ways.
Sometimes, hopefully at least once in your life - the gift of love will come to you in full flower. Take hold of it and celebrate it in all inexpressible beauty. This is the dream weall share. More often, it will come and take hold of you, celebrate you for a brief moment, then move on.
When this happen to young people, they too often try to grasp the love and hold it to them, refusing to see that it is a gift that just as freely, moves away. When they fall out of love, or the person they love feels the spirit of love leaving,they try desperately to reclaim the love that is lost rather than accepting the gift for what it was, then moving on.
They want answers where there are no answers. They want to know what is wrong in them that makes the other person no longer love them, or try to get their love to change, thinking that if some small things were different, love would bloom again. They blame their circumstances and say that if they go far away and start a new life, their love will grow.
They try anything to give meaning to what has happened. But there is no meaning beyond the love itself, and until they accept its own mysterious ways, they live in a sea of misery.
You need to know this about love, and accept it. You need to treat what it brings you with kindness. If you find yourself in love with someone who does not love you, be gentle with yourself. There is nothing wrong with you. Love just didn't choose to rest in the other person's heart.
If you find yourself someone in love with you but you don't love him back, feel honored that love came and called at your door, but gently refuse the gift you cannot return. Do not take advantage; do not cause pain. How you deal with love is how you deal with yourself. All our hearts feel the same pains and joys, even if our lives and ways are different. If you fall in love with another, and he falls in love with you, and then love chooses to leave, do not try to reclaim it nor to assess blame. Let it go. There is a reason and there is a meaning. You will know in time.
Remember that you don't choose love. Love chooses you. All you can really do is accept it for all its mystery when it comes into your life. Feel the way it fills you to over flowing,then reach out and give it away. Give it back to the person who brought it alive in you. Give it to others who deem it poor in spirit. Give it to the world around you in any way you can.
There is where many lovers go wrong. Having been so long without love, they understand love only as a need. They see their hearts as empty places that will be filled by love, and they begin to look at love as something that flows to themrather than from them.
The first blush of new love is filled to overflowing, but as their love cools, they revert to seeing their love as a need.They cease to be someone who generates love and instead become someone who seeks love. They forget that the secret of love is that it is a gift, and that it can be made to grow only by giving it away.
Remember this and keep it to your heart. Love has its time, its own season, its own reason for coming and going. You cannot bribe it or coerce it, or reason it into staying. You can only embrace it when it arrives and give it away when it comes to you. But if it chooses to leave from your heart or from the heart of your lover, there is nothing you can do and there is nothing you should do. Love always has been and always will be a mystery. BE GLAD THAT IT CAME TO LIVEFOR A MOMENT IN YOUR LIFE.
If you keep you heart open, it will come again...
"Letters To My Son"by Kent Nerburn
Why people fall in love?
It is a mystery why we fall in love. It is a mystery how it happens. It is a mystery when it comes. It is a mystery why some love grows and it is a mystery why some love fails.
You can analyze this mystery and look for reasons andcauses, but you will never do anymore that take the life out of the experience. Just as life itself is more than the sum of the bones and muscles and electrical impulses in the body, love is more than the sum of the interests and attractions and commonalities that two people share. And just as life itself is a gift that comes and goes in its own time, so too, the coming of love must be taken as an unfathomable gift that cannot be questioned in its ways.
Sometimes, hopefully at least once in your life - the gift of love will come to you in full flower. Take hold of it and celebrate it in all inexpressible beauty. This is the dream weall share. More often, it will come and take hold of you, celebrate you for a brief moment, then move on.
When this happen to young people, they too often try to grasp the love and hold it to them, refusing to see that it is a gift that just as freely, moves away. When they fall out of love, or the person they love feels the spirit of love leaving,they try desperately to reclaim the love that is lost rather than accepting the gift for what it was, then moving on.
They want answers where there are no answers. They want to know what is wrong in them that makes the other person no longer love them, or try to get their love to change, thinking that if some small things were different, love would bloom again. They blame their circumstances and say that if they go far away and start a new life, their love will grow.
They try anything to give meaning to what has happened. But there is no meaning beyond the love itself, and until they accept its own mysterious ways, they live in a sea of misery.
You need to know this about love, and accept it. You need to treat what it brings you with kindness. If you find yourself in love with someone who does not love you, be gentle with yourself. There is nothing wrong with you. Love just didn't choose to rest in the other person's heart.
If you find yourself someone in love with you but you don't love him back, feel honored that love came and called at your door, but gently refuse the gift you cannot return. Do not take advantage; do not cause pain. How you deal with love is how you deal with yourself. All our hearts feel the same pains and joys, even if our lives and ways are different. If you fall in love with another, and he falls in love with you, and then love chooses to leave, do not try to reclaim it nor to assess blame. Let it go. There is a reason and there is a meaning. You will know in time.
Remember that you don't choose love. Love chooses you. All you can really do is accept it for all its mystery when it comes into your life. Feel the way it fills you to over flowing,then reach out and give it away. Give it back to the person who brought it alive in you. Give it to others who deem it poor in spirit. Give it to the world around you in any way you can.
There is where many lovers go wrong. Having been so long without love, they understand love only as a need. They see their hearts as empty places that will be filled by love, and they begin to look at love as something that flows to themrather than from them.
The first blush of new love is filled to overflowing, but as their love cools, they revert to seeing their love as a need.They cease to be someone who generates love and instead become someone who seeks love. They forget that the secret of love is that it is a gift, and that it can be made to grow only by giving it away.
Remember this and keep it to your heart. Love has its time, its own season, its own reason for coming and going. You cannot bribe it or coerce it, or reason it into staying. You can only embrace it when it arrives and give it away when it comes to you. But if it chooses to leave from your heart or from the heart of your lover, there is nothing you can do and there is nothing you should do. Love always has been and always will be a mystery. BE GLAD THAT IT CAME TO LIVEFOR A MOMENT IN YOUR LIFE.
If you keep you heart open, it will come again...
"Letters To My Son"by Kent Nerburn
my fantasy
hey, seems i was right... i can't resist this blog...
anyway, since i was a child, i have been looking at how my dad was the perfect man... i mean, of course some may think that, it's your dad, he's the first guy you know so that's pretty much normal... right? wrong! well, in my case actually... here's the deal...
when i was a child, i'm always with my dad... we spend time together in the kitchen cause he's such a good chef! anyway, the point is, i had an arguement with my dad a few years back and didn't really take to him after two years... see that? that means, i don't consider my dad as the ultimate man... but, anyhow, i still see my dad as someone great... someone i need to look up to. i love my dad...
anyway, here's the point of this entry... i always rant about men... i was quite a boy-hater back then... i always say that... well... i won't mention it here... but that's it... now i realized that whatever was my idea back when i was child is what i should continue. here's where the fantasy thing comes... i want someone who is similar to my dad...
this someone shouldn't really be tall, dark and handsome... shouldn't really be lean, mighty and strong... shouldn't really be a great dancer or great at any sport for that matter... shouldn't really be mr. heart throb... shouldn't really be a musician...
in fact, this someone is a great chef! this someone is handy in everything, handy with electronics, techies and decisions... this someone is hardworking, patient yet strict. someone who have the power to intimidate people when needed. someone outgoing and a great singer! this someone is sociable and not afraid to take the risk. someone who has a mind of his own... and yet, someone loving, loyal and caring... someone understanding, challenging and who has a big heart that i could see...
i guess there's no two person really alike... the person i see is someone who is tall, dark and handsome; a heart throb; a great singer and dancer; hardworking, patient, sociable; he's someone who isn't afraid to take the risk; outgoing, challenging and lean; above all that, he's loving, caring, sweet and charming beyond words...
am i looking at the one or not? :P
anyway, since i was a child, i have been looking at how my dad was the perfect man... i mean, of course some may think that, it's your dad, he's the first guy you know so that's pretty much normal... right? wrong! well, in my case actually... here's the deal...
when i was a child, i'm always with my dad... we spend time together in the kitchen cause he's such a good chef! anyway, the point is, i had an arguement with my dad a few years back and didn't really take to him after two years... see that? that means, i don't consider my dad as the ultimate man... but, anyhow, i still see my dad as someone great... someone i need to look up to. i love my dad...
anyway, here's the point of this entry... i always rant about men... i was quite a boy-hater back then... i always say that... well... i won't mention it here... but that's it... now i realized that whatever was my idea back when i was child is what i should continue. here's where the fantasy thing comes... i want someone who is similar to my dad...
this someone shouldn't really be tall, dark and handsome... shouldn't really be lean, mighty and strong... shouldn't really be a great dancer or great at any sport for that matter... shouldn't really be mr. heart throb... shouldn't really be a musician...
in fact, this someone is a great chef! this someone is handy in everything, handy with electronics, techies and decisions... this someone is hardworking, patient yet strict. someone who have the power to intimidate people when needed. someone outgoing and a great singer! this someone is sociable and not afraid to take the risk. someone who has a mind of his own... and yet, someone loving, loyal and caring... someone understanding, challenging and who has a big heart that i could see...
i guess there's no two person really alike... the person i see is someone who is tall, dark and handsome; a heart throb; a great singer and dancer; hardworking, patient, sociable; he's someone who isn't afraid to take the risk; outgoing, challenging and lean; above all that, he's loving, caring, sweet and charming beyond words...
am i looking at the one or not? :P
Saturday, September 03, 2005
one-sided love and rejection
here's another one of my thoughts... i have been thinking about a lot of things lately even though i don't seem like it... anyway... here goes...
love is a wonderful thing for some right? and it may be a terrible thing for some... but have you ever thought what is wonderful and what is terrible? i guess no one can really tell right? since every man is given the choice to lie or to tell the truth... i guess wonderful love is when both parties tell the truth and really love each other... and terrible is the term which can be used when talking about 'one-sided' love...
love is one-sided when only one gives his all and the other simply receives... it does not have the give-and-take relationship. it is when only one party is sincere... when only one party is true... when only one party cares... i guess when you have that kind of love, you shouldn't expect much right? cause there is no guarantee that it will turn out the way you want to... you could simply move away slowly and try to put everything in the past...
but what if you can't already? what if it's too late? there is no such such thing as late except for scheduled meetings or tasks... in life, there is no such word when you are still young. being young means having the chance to do everything we want to do. we are only young once, so why waste it right? so, moving away is never too late... but there is such thing as a hard departure... you have clinged/ hanged on too tight that you are now afraid to lose that special someone... afraid to be alone... i guess everyone wants someone to be there for them... but what if everything is a lie?
i guess being rejected doesn't mean that everything will end... being rejected is all a part of life... and yet, being rejected still hurts... it still damn f*cking hurts... everyone needs to be ready for this... why? because we may encounter this in everyday of our lives... rejection... such a harsh word, right? the word itself stings when you say it... but why does rejection need to hurt? why do people need to get hurt? isn't it unfair? i mean, why couldn't people live happily all the time? why do we have to face such hard things?!
awhile ago while walking home, i got the chance to decide on the things i want to do... and finally ending this blog is one of the top choices... i started this blog to write down the things i did while i still thought about confessing... and i kinda decided to end this blog because i'm not wishing for anything anymore... man... it hurts!!! i'm not hoping for anything anymore... not expecting anything anymore... not asking for anything anymore... i guess i can't resist this blog can i? another thing i thought of is to give up... give up until it's gone... forever...
love is a wonderful thing for some right? and it may be a terrible thing for some... but have you ever thought what is wonderful and what is terrible? i guess no one can really tell right? since every man is given the choice to lie or to tell the truth... i guess wonderful love is when both parties tell the truth and really love each other... and terrible is the term which can be used when talking about 'one-sided' love...
love is one-sided when only one gives his all and the other simply receives... it does not have the give-and-take relationship. it is when only one party is sincere... when only one party is true... when only one party cares... i guess when you have that kind of love, you shouldn't expect much right? cause there is no guarantee that it will turn out the way you want to... you could simply move away slowly and try to put everything in the past...
but what if you can't already? what if it's too late? there is no such such thing as late except for scheduled meetings or tasks... in life, there is no such word when you are still young. being young means having the chance to do everything we want to do. we are only young once, so why waste it right? so, moving away is never too late... but there is such thing as a hard departure... you have clinged/ hanged on too tight that you are now afraid to lose that special someone... afraid to be alone... i guess everyone wants someone to be there for them... but what if everything is a lie?
i guess being rejected doesn't mean that everything will end... being rejected is all a part of life... and yet, being rejected still hurts... it still damn f*cking hurts... everyone needs to be ready for this... why? because we may encounter this in everyday of our lives... rejection... such a harsh word, right? the word itself stings when you say it... but why does rejection need to hurt? why do people need to get hurt? isn't it unfair? i mean, why couldn't people live happily all the time? why do we have to face such hard things?!
awhile ago while walking home, i got the chance to decide on the things i want to do... and finally ending this blog is one of the top choices... i started this blog to write down the things i did while i still thought about confessing... and i kinda decided to end this blog because i'm not wishing for anything anymore... man... it hurts!!! i'm not hoping for anything anymore... not expecting anything anymore... not asking for anything anymore... i guess i can't resist this blog can i? another thing i thought of is to give up... give up until it's gone... forever...
Friday, September 02, 2005
past
oh well... just read my entries from last march... i found myself? pathetic, weak, coward and a loser... seriously!!!
i have changed so much since then... i mean, since i said what i want, i have been so much different... i have grown if you want to put it that way... i'm not anymore a coward... i don't mention the nickname 'coin' anymore... i don't ask if i should tell him... it's cause i know that i can do anything if i put my mind into it.
last time i watched As Told By Ginger, it was the graduation episode... it was said that when you wish to a butterfly, it carries it with it to the skies and sometimes it comes true... but when you hold on to it for too long, it dies. i guess that's true... we all have to learn how to let go... let go and make a wish... who knows, maybe it's because you let go that it comes back to you two-folds right? that's the mystery of life... that's what i learned... and trust me, i learned it in a hard way...
i find myself now as someone who could do anything i want to... i can't even believe that it was me who wrote those entries last march... and it was just what? 6 months!!! a half year... that's what it took me to learn how to gather my guts and do what ever i want... makapal na mukha kung makapal... :D as i said last time, i don't f*cking hell what others want to think... i don't care what anybody think about me... because what i believe in is what matters to me...
just like in cwts last time, we were asked to describe ourselves using a cartoon character... described myself as p-chan, the pig version of ryoga from ranma 1/2... why? not because i don't have a good sense of direction, not because i'm strong when i'm miserable... but because i'm determined... i do anything just to get what i want... and guess what... so far, i'm contented with what i have in my life... well, except when i go window shopping again... i can't seem to get enough material things... crave for more and more and more!!! gyahahahha!!! i love shopping na!!! i really have changed!!!
i have changed so much since then... i mean, since i said what i want, i have been so much different... i have grown if you want to put it that way... i'm not anymore a coward... i don't mention the nickname 'coin' anymore... i don't ask if i should tell him... it's cause i know that i can do anything if i put my mind into it.
last time i watched As Told By Ginger, it was the graduation episode... it was said that when you wish to a butterfly, it carries it with it to the skies and sometimes it comes true... but when you hold on to it for too long, it dies. i guess that's true... we all have to learn how to let go... let go and make a wish... who knows, maybe it's because you let go that it comes back to you two-folds right? that's the mystery of life... that's what i learned... and trust me, i learned it in a hard way...
i find myself now as someone who could do anything i want to... i can't even believe that it was me who wrote those entries last march... and it was just what? 6 months!!! a half year... that's what it took me to learn how to gather my guts and do what ever i want... makapal na mukha kung makapal... :D as i said last time, i don't f*cking hell what others want to think... i don't care what anybody think about me... because what i believe in is what matters to me...
just like in cwts last time, we were asked to describe ourselves using a cartoon character... described myself as p-chan, the pig version of ryoga from ranma 1/2... why? not because i don't have a good sense of direction, not because i'm strong when i'm miserable... but because i'm determined... i do anything just to get what i want... and guess what... so far, i'm contented with what i have in my life... well, except when i go window shopping again... i can't seem to get enough material things... crave for more and more and more!!! gyahahahha!!! i love shopping na!!! i really have changed!!!
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