dramatic feeling

hey, graduation has just come and go... it was nothing like it... i mean, of course it's our graduation, and i expected something from it... i expected to be touched, to feel the atmosphere around me suddenly becoming dramatic, to have my entire sj life flash before my very eyes, it short... i expected to cry... but no! didn't even shed a tear. not because i was not attached to our batch... i am, i really am... but maybe because we were all matured enough to accept the fact that we really have to move on... leave our high school life behind... but not our alma mater...

anyway, i had a dream last night that i was at the auditorium with all the people who went to the graduation rites. then suddenly, one by one, all the people left and the place was so dark... and when i say dark, it was nothing life when the lights are off... it was total darkness, as in even all the chairs were vanishing and i can't even see the stage. then i was there, all alone in the dark. i didn't move and stayed seated at the last remaining chair where i was seated. i waited for the people to come back but they never returned. then i woke up... i didn't know what the dream meant... maybe i was not afraid to lose everyone so i didn't follow them? i don't know... or maybe i was just really lonely... then i went to get the Judenites and read the articles in it... one article caught my full interest and read it at once.... it was a feature article by Kevin Tsai. it was all about a dream too.. his dream last December. where everyone died and he was one of them... then he realized how special his loved ones are.

there, i realized that some people are lucky for they have some people with them for better or for worse... while i, i don't even know if i have one special friend who i can count on... i mean, i know i can count on all my friends, but almost everyone has a best friend. a best friend who can stay there for them no matter what happens. i miss that feeling, the feeling to have someone calling you even in the middle of the night, texting you simple messages that you want to keep for ever because of the touching words "i'm right here for you kahit ano mangyari" i mean, friends are special... pero iba pa rin ang best friend... i mean friends come and go, but when you have a best friend, you never have to worry about being alone... last time i thought that i don't need a best friend, and just befriend everyone... but now i know that being a friend to everyone and not being the best for someone is sad... but that's not the point of this... is it? i mean, today, i woke up, ready to face a life outside the walls of our beloved SJCS... all the green and white uniforms have been removed from my closet to give more space to ordinary clothings... am i going to miss being in high school? of course i will!!! i mean, like cathy said in her article, "enjoy what you can enjoy" i mean, i can never return to the days of our retreat, to the day of our last mass, last recognition day, last sporsfest, our paraliturgies, our thanksgiving mass, our days in the classroom where pictures are taken, and of course, our once in a lifetime high school graduation... and lots more! i mean, we can never enjoy it as it is when we are right there and the event is just flaunting in front of us... i, myself, want to go back to all those events and enjoy it more... i mean, i miss those times...

now we have to go our separate ways, move on and mold our future better, meet new people who will walk into our lives... but hope that whatever memories we had will always be treasured and well, the friends and love we received will always be remembered and kept... i'm not afriad to move on... are you?

tama_chan

nothing's change

ey! i was supposed to post this entry yesterday but i got tired and turned in early... anyway, remember the time i was worrying about what the future might hold for me? now i'm not!

anyway, yesterday, i went to school to give some grad gifts out... hahaha!!! :D then went to hazelyn's house to give her hers... walked back to school went straight to the fifth floor... there, i walked to jira, then coin called me, and thanked me for the letter i gave him. then i told him i have something to give him... hahaha!!! still, nothing's change!!! that's the point of the story... i love it!!! still am comfy with each other... :D

anyway, today, stayed home and got to dye my hair already... :D

that's it!

tama_chan

Run Away

another song made out from boredom... well, at least i hope it will be a song... any suggestions for the title again? really need to edit it out... somebody? thanks in advance! just send it to me via mail... tama_chan

Run Away

Staring out the window
Wishing I could see you
And I'm really missing you
Wonder if you feel the same way too

*Can't seem to get you out of my mind
But I really want to leave it all behind
Wishing the memories would just fade away
But I just can't run away, run away

Lying under the stars
Counting the passing hours
Wishing you're here with me
Maybe it just wasn't meant to be

there you go... ey, and shuri, thanks for the comments again! :D ya, that's right, auburn red... la lang... just feel that i need a little change... the wish list is just for kicks... ang cute noh? hello kitty?! hahaha!!! anyway, if you think "Another Chance" fits me, what about "Run Away"? this one i got a melody ringing in my head for it all ready... while the first one...? still haven't got a clue of what melody to put in yet... tuesday is the day so... monday won't be a good idea... :D

tama_chan

**drop me a line!

please visit

hey! please visit my wish list! the link is right there, on my links section... or if you want...

http://www.geocities.com/minisignal/tama_chan.html

there... just post a comment or send me an e-mail bout what you think about it.. I find it so cute!!!

anyway, besides that, I want to share another thing to you all...

I want to dye my hair!!! well, not really dye as in all... just high lights... but stylin'! i mean, not just ordinary plain high lights, i want it to be just like rouge's... like bangs... but not really bangs, just to have a different shade... but not white or anything like that... i want it to be auburn red! fiery! and of course some additional high lights at the back won't hurt...

that's it... been feeling down lately... just don't know why... but i kept on greeting the day with a smile and continue it with smiles and laughter... but inside... it really burns me up... i mean, i want to let it all out yet i can't... i don't know how...

tama_chan

shuri

naks! an entry only for shuri!!! :D

anyway, thanks for the comment once again... i really do love you so much!! (not yuri... ) haha!!! anyway, the first one surely is more "me" because i made it without editing... but it sounds so... bland? stupid? dumb... i don't know how to even describe it... the edited version of osi (thank you so much!) is better... much better!!! in fact i love it!!! hay... trying to think up a suitable melody for it already... trying to sing it... well, even trying to learn how to play the guitar just to put in a melody for it already... but, what the, ask maxi, it really sounds terrible!!! hahaha!!! and that was only over the phone... but really, i'm trying my best to do it.. i mean, i want to play the song, well, at least try to play it someday when we put the melody in already, on my guitar, on my own...

anyway, is the title proper? i mean, i just put in a title... really planning to ask around for a title for it... and it just came to me... "why not another chance?" i mean, the song is asking for another chance, right? but, if you have any suggestion for a better title, i'm really up to it... i mean, i want to change the title if someone can come up with a more catchy phrase... :D and mind you shuri, the song doesn't relate to me in anyway... well, at least i don't think so... i just made it up... maybe if it turned out alright and i got bored once again... maybe another song will pop out of nowhere!!! :D

tama_chan

edited by Osmond

Another Chance

Is there any way, to take it all back
If only you'd hear me out, we can get back on track
Baby, I want nothing but to be with you right now
And I'm going crazy wanting to forget, but how?

* Never did I say that I was the one for you
And never did I believe that you'd love me too
I risked everything, i took the leap
But now our friendship's got into trouble too deep

Give me another chance to show you that I'm for real
And to show you how you're really making me feel
Is it wrong to say it once again? I like you
Even though things will never be the same, I still hang on to you

super thanks!

Another Chance

Another Chance

I ask for another chance to take it all back
If only you'd hear me out and get back in track
Baby, I want nothing but to be with you now
I'm going crazy wanting to forget, but how?

* Never did I say that I was the one for you
And never did I believe that you'd love me too
I asked for nothing and I've got nothing to take
Our relationship is all I don't want to break

Give me another chance to show you I'm for real
And to show you how you're really making me feel
Is it wrong to say it once again? I like you
I got confused and still I hang on to you

Like a withered rose, I now slowly fade
Like what I should have done from the first place
Now I'm ready to go but still I know

*

another song... well, to be song actually... um... i wrote it out of boredom and because i don't know how to play any instruments... (thinking of taking a crash course of self study with my guitar a while ago) i asked maxi to help me out if he can... i mean, because the poem is so darn... stupid... make some changes if he could... anyway, is the title ok?! any suggestions for the title?

tama_chan

surprised

hey, i was really lost yesterday... i mean, i didn't want things to continue any further... it's like i was regretting what i did... well, after some talks with some friends, i was feeling a little bit fine already but still can't help but think about it. anyway, i was surprised that based from my experience, i found something that can help me get thru all these... and it was a talk with mau that made me realize everything... believe me, even i was surprised with it because of a long tedious background about it... :D anyway, now, i'm not that bothered by it already... sure, it gets to me once in a while... i get zoned out and think about what might happen in the future... still am a little bit afraid... but like mau said, i must face what ever happens. hay... hope everything will still be ok... i mean... i don't know what i mean anymore...

ey, want to take this opportunity too to thank the guys who have been there for me no matter what... maxi, jay, jira, mama tep, kurstin, mau and a lot more! :D

really am emotional ain't i?!

tama_chan

video file

Click here to watch 'recog-030'

what type of teenager are you?

What type of teenager are you?
from www.quizilla.com

Your label is the Nice girl/guy. You tend to care
for others over yourself. However, many people
appreciate your caring side and would rather
stick by you than hurt you. But, there is a
downside. Some tend to abuse your kindness and
take advantage of you. You always try to see
the good in everyone and try not to hate.
Also, you have sharp insight and a great
personality. Calm, serene, and understanding,
you make a worthy friend and a valuble ally to
people in need. Don't change your sweet
nature, your constant being-there can save a
life.

I suggest your go into a field that
centers around working with others such as a
doctor, baby-sitter, psychologist, lifeguard,
or Teacher. If none of these occupations
interest you, it is okay then. I am sure that
there are plenty of oppertunities out there for
you.

What type of teenager are you?
brought to you by Quizilla

my wonderful

my wonderful -- Jessica Simpson


"A time when I was down and out
No lovin in my life
this angel came and brought about
a meaning of some right
Took my dark and lonely days
Into the light
With his loving ways
He's my wonderful
Everything a girl could want
to love
And all I need
Yes he's my wonderful
Must have been sent from
up above
Just for me
Gotta have him close
to me
Each and every night
To give me that security
Of dreaming in delight
Love has got a grip on me
Oh so tight
Hope he never lets go
He's my wonderful
Everything a girl could want
to love
And all I need
Yes he's my wonderful
Must have been sent from
up above
Just for me
Cause I don't ever want to be free
From this love and care that
most people will never see
And at night I pray
That I'll have my way
And enjoy love for eternity
He's my wonderful
Everything a girl could want
to love
And all I need
Yes he's my wonderful
Must have been sent from
up above
Just for me
No one can ever do for me
The things he does cause
He's my wonderful
Everything a girl could want
to love
And all I need
Yes he's my wonderful
Must have been sent from
up above
Just for me"

a song dedicated to him... i mean, kung kaya ko pang kumanta sa kanya!!! :)

tama_chan

what will happen?

"gumuho na mundo ko" as you can say it... it's like i don't want to attend graduation anymore.. the longer i live, the more i think about the possibilities of what can happen comes into my mind... maybe i should have waited longer... even a bit to hear what he has to say... to know what he wants me to know... maybe if i did that, i wouldn't be suffering right now... full of fears of what may happen, confused as always and heck, a bit excited of what i may be facing next week... but really.. i don't know what would happen... it's like i don't want to face tomorrow but still i want to rush into it... i want to rush time... if that is possible... i didn't do all those nice things to him because i like him... it is because he's my friend...

ey, by the way, all those 'he' is coin a... baka maya... that's it... still confused...

wonder what will happen in the future (next week... monday)?

tama_chan

i like you, is it ok?

well, another day... a while ago was our C.A.T. graduation... bagged a bronze medal... really not proud of it... i mean, not that much... anyway, last graduation practice today... i can't believe it that we are almost out of the halls of our alma mater... i mean, we grew up there and spent most of our lives in it learning stuff, meeting friends and simply enjoying what it has to offer to us... but now as we leave, we won't have to think what the school offered to us the past thirteen years, but what we have given to our alma mater... what services have we given to her.

anyway, back to my life...

i finally had the guts to give the letters which was supposed to be for the religion activity... i mean, i thought that it might be a nice one since holy week is coming and it will give them something to think about... something to be thankful for and i can somehow make them feel special in my own little way. so, that's it for that. our top five treat us to a pizza party! thanks guys! so... here's where the title comes in...

coin called me to sign on his rhgp project... i can't think of anything really since i just handed him a 5-paged letter... so a simple 'good luck, love ya and ingats' was all i have written... anyway, there was the 'you want me to ruin your life right now?' part... i was really fooling around that time but, sudddenly, i blurted out 'i like you, is it ok?'. he was surprised and let out a loud "what?" but with a big smile, then i calmly repeated it... but with the 'seryoso ako' then i turned away, covered my face with my overcoat and said 'yan, namumula na ako' but seeing him smiling, i'm already happy... i turned away and he said 'ingats' then i simply walked away... i mean, i wasn't really expecting anything... i was even surprised with his reaction since i thought he wouldn't be surprised about it cause i thought he knew all about it from his friends... but i guess i was wrong... or maybe he's just a great actor...?? who knows! as long as i still don't feel the rejection, the negative reply, i'm fine with it... with everything... i'm really thankful for the sudden over flowing of courage in me... i don't know where it came from... but it just came... and i'm really so touched... i mean, he was still wearing a smile after i have said that... must have been flattered... anyway... that's it for that. he just have to draw his own conclusions, think what he wants to think and that also includes everyone else... i did my part, and i'm going to live with it... no regrets... i did it because i want to and i know it's right... i don't care what others think about it anymore... that's right, i'm gonna say it now... back off!!!

tama_chan

silence means a lot

ey, this has been a very "thinky" day for me... in short... confused... devastated... just plain not me... i mean, this past three days, i have been thinking about the same thing...

listen to me people!

i like coin for who he is... not for what he looks like... heck! i'm not even a big fan of his physique... i mean, maybe it's a bonus for some... but personally, i won't be this serious about him if i'm only after his physical appearance... i'm not that shallow! heck, i'm not even shallow!!! i like him for who he is... i accept him for who he really is people! i mean, i know his flaws... i know it and i accept them all! the whole point of me liking him is because i don't want to change anything about him!!! i came to like him for who he is and it never crossed my mind to change even a tiny mole on him... for heaven's sake! i know some may already think i'm obsessed over him... well, no... because i have been there and i know that it is totally different from what i'm feeling now... really people... you should know me by now... once i like a person, it's not because of their physical appearance... i like them for who they really are... i accept them in every aspect and from any view... just like my friends... i don't befriend people because they look attractive... i befriend them to get to know them and accept them for who they really are! and heck, i don't want to change anything in them... you know why? because i believe that every person is unique! and i'm lucky to have found them, to have met them, to have get to know them... you see, it is because i am also unique... and fortunately, i have friends who accept me for who i really am... and it is because of that that i accept people for their individuality... i don't need perfect people, coz i know i will die alone if i try to find them... i need friends who are unique in their own ways... who are willing to accept my "weirdness", my over flowing care, my weaknesses, and my uniqueness...

so please people, i'm begging you... don't think of me as a shallow being... i really accept coin for who he is... with his weaknesses and his strengths... i mean, i like him for who he is... and really, i don't want to change anything about him... i don't want to change anything in him... i love him for who he is... i love him for himself...

and please, i'm really comfy around him... and i'm sure he feel comfy around me too... at least i hope so... even with my sparkling and/or twinkling eyes around him, i really feel comfy around him... i really do... and i don't care if it gives me away anymore... i like him... and i know the feeling is not wrong... so it must be right... at least now it is... my silence means a lot... and maybe some day, it will not be silence anymore... but words that will help me and coin out in the future... and if somehow, coin stumbles into this blog of mine... well, just wanna say... that this entry really is true... it's no joke.

tama_chan

bemused

still has me thinking... what i was thinking about last night seems to be stucked in my head... i just can't help it. i mean, what am i doing wrong? am i doing something wrong? i know i am not doing anything to hurt other people or putting others at any risk... only me... and our friendship... i mean... i don't know... i really am just confused. if i changed myself in order for me to forget him... is it still me who will be walking and living my life as it is? i mean, of course it will be the same me... but it's not the me who everybody knows... i guess i really don't have to change anything in me... people will just have to accept me for who i am. and it's really my choice if i want to give myself some thought... of course, i do... but not that often... maybe once in a while but never always. this holy week, i promise to think about it... what i will do... what i will not do... and what i've got to do... i mean, i need to face my fears sooner or later... since i'm not doing anything this week, i guess i'll just have to find myself... to meditate... to clear my mind off everything for a while...

anyway, been a little down lately... i wish to shrug the feeling and the tremendous weight off... wish not many people knows about it... no offense but they are just making me feel inferior... the more they give me advices what to do and others even tell me what to do, the more i think about it... the more it burdens me. you know, when there was just 5 of us who knows about this, i didn't have any problems at all... i mean, i live my life as it is... having kilig moments at the back of people who doesn't know and in front of my closer friends who knows... those were the simpler times when i don't have to tell the same story over and over again... but i can't help it... the people who get intrigued by it seems to multiply like mushrooms... i mean, i know i am that obvious already since i don't have any control with my emotions, my eyes and what i do around him... but do they have to be so... so... i don't know... questionny?! about it?

argh... life really is confusing... life is just so hard for me right now... i don't know what to do about it... i just want to lay back on my bed, stare at the ceiling, hugging my "haro", just stay there and watch myself waste my life away... just watch others struggle their way into death... and meanly enjoy it... why do i have to care so much and to suffer so much? is it not enough for me to be mean to everyone and don't suffer too much? is that something so big to ask for? why do i have to be me?!

links

hey, ok lang link ninyo...
well, kung nastumble upon niya... it's his choice to make kung you know... basta, kung gusto niyo link, it's ok... you have my permission to do so!

toodle-loo!!!
tama_chan

will you notice me?

Will You Notice Me? -- from Pixel Perfect (Disney)
Here's a story of a girl
Livin' in a lonely world
She also had a secret crush
A little boy who talks too much
And i'm standin in the crowd
And when you smile i check you out
But you don't even know my name
You're too busy playin games
And i want you to know
If you lose your way,
I wont let you go
[CHORUS]
If i cut my hair
If i change my clothes
Will you notice me?
If i bite my lip
If i say hello
Will you notice me?

Whats it gonna take for you to see
To get you to notice me
Got your head up in the clouds
Tell me when you're comin down
I don't mean to sink your ship
Its not about the scholarship
And all my friends who follow you
They tell you things that just ain't true
I'm the girl you haven't seen
I'm the one you really need
And oh, dont get me wrong
You better make your move before the moments gone

[CHORUS]

I'm not like the rest
I just dont care if you're the best
You see its all the same to me
Just be who you are with me
oh, its all the same to me
And oh, dont get me wrong
You better make your move
Before the moments gone

[CHORUS]

To get you to notice me

i could reflect to this song in a lot of ways...
it's just like the story of my life... i live in a lonely world, all alone until coin came along. he brightened up my days, and well, because maybe of insensitivity or he's just ignoring the obvious, now he's making me think... and that's my day mostly...

tama_chan

comments

just read your comments guys... thanks!!! :D i'm so sorry na ang tagal tsaka lang ako magbasa ng comments... pero still, i'll try to make it daily... sorry talaga! and kindly continue to post your comments para alam ko kung what... :D

anyway, shuri! sorry kung super obvious... i mean... i am hoping na hindi niya ito mapuntahan or whatever... it's like my tribute to him nga e... right? argh... i just can't help it... i mean, look at the blog itself?! the only thing that's me there is the color and the dancing letters... and well, everything else has his name (his code name at least) and his pictures with me and your animation version of him... i just can't help it!!! well... sana... hopefully... this blog will never appear in front of his eyes and no one would ever tell him about it either... i mean, not unless i told him na... maybe on graduation day?! :D

anyway, char!!! ha ha!!! dalawa kayo char!!! anyway, thanks for visiting my blog again... glad you find it a bit amusing... well, some friends visit my blog to have a few laughs and kilig moments din e... :D kinikilig daw sila kung binabasa nila... sana lagay na rin kayo comments guys!!!

thanks again!!!

tama_chan

confused

hey... been a very rainy and sunny day today... anyway... i won't talk about my whole day like i usually do... just want to talk about my feelings about some things...

just asked coin about something another friend of ours asked me... what our status was... i was really about to ask him the question but i chickened out and put told it narratively. i'm really confused about it... but before i even popped the question... he told me that there's a big possibility that he would not be going to the same college as i am... there's a bigger chance of him entering the halls of ust next school year rather than dlsu... he likes his course in ust as well as his parents... i'm happy for him... but deep down, i felt like i was praying to God not to let him pass his interview... i know i am selfish... sobra! i curse myself for that... i'm supposed to be happy when he's happy... but because of my own selfish desires... i am praying to take away his happiness... what kind of a friend am i?! i mean, from the time i knew him... i learned how to appreciate the little things in life... and the bigger things i even treasure more... my friends, my studies and my time... i have even become closer to God because of him... i mean, he has brought so many wonderful things in my life and this is how i repay him? but some friends told me to think about myself... not only of him... but im just not used to it... well... got to gather some guts... i mean, lots of guts!!! for tomorrow... try ko lang pow!!

tama_chan

Photobucket

This is a test post from Photobucket.com

saya saya!!!

today is so fine!!! anyway, started out with our thanksgiving mass... it was full of thanksgiving prayers! h aha ha!!! :D anyway, got our grad pics... then haze, jing and me went to eat to chowking we rushed back to school because of the time. we reached the fifth floor, tired, sweaty and totally messy!! but it was fun!!! :D anyway, after getting some rest and looking over jira, i went to coin... gave him the prom pix.. (hope he doesn't stumble upon this blog... ) and stayed with him in the room... :) argh! i was so in the kilig mode!!! well, despite the feeling, i kept my mind straight and helped him out with his studies... at least i think i did something to help him out... anyway... that was the climax of my day... now it's all surf and chat... surf and chat... argh! so bored!!!

tama_chan

**think i should tell him na?!

hyper!

hey! im in the hyper mode today! i dont know why but i seem to have a lot of energy to burn today... cant seem to stay put... anyway, today is chinese grad practice again... same old same old... but in the morning... really worried if coin will be going to his summer class... got jing to text me the moment he arrived. anyway, printed our prom pics yesterday... argh! kilig! ha ha ha!!! :D anyway, just put borders... and can't say that they were cheap... they weren't! :D but what can i do?! i just got hooked! :D got a lot of copies of it... but not all in the wallet size... two are 4r and 2 are... i don't know what size... and there are 6 wallet size... ha ha ha!!! now the wallet size is reduced to 2 copies, excluding mine already... dami kasi humihingi e!!! :D anyway, til here... got to gather guts for the handing of prom pics to him tomorrow!!!

tama_chan

psyche!

hey! remember when i said i was afraid to move on and have a big change in my life?! well... im not too sure about that right now! well, it seems that the orientation awhile ago in dlsu changed my outlook in life... it opened up everything... college life, job opportunities... and so much more! :) anyway, now really looking forward to starting a new life but not leaving the past behind because you see, there's just so much in the past that no matter how you like to forget, you just can't forget it... maybe in life, there are such failures that we are destined to face in order to learn and make our lives better... :) heck, im starting to sound like a philosopher!!! :D anyway... i hope that someday in the future... i will be known as Engineer Mysh!!! :) but in order to achieve that dream... i know that i must first be able to get through with our graduation mass on tuesday, graduation practices, the graduation itself, enrolments and of course the five years in the course... :) i know it needs a lot of concentration, focus, patience and a lot of hard work to do. but seriously, what made me enjoy the orientation? ha ha!!! is the thing that happened before it... :"> when i was about to leave the house, my mobile suddenly rang and guess what?! coin called!!! asking me where am i... well, its not all that big... but... i dont know... i was running late the whole day today... woke up late, went to the orientation late, the damn photo printing machine was so slow... it was like no matter how i like things to swift pass me, i still have to slow down and wait for things to get in order. well, right now, the stress card would be black... heck! everytime i go online, my mom expects me to bake brownies and when my cousin is doing all the labor, he keeps on nagging about measurements and stuff... then while writing this entry, my ym just kept on beeping... but when i got nothing to do, i have to do the beepings! argh! i know i know... im selfish... but why can't i just have things my way from time to time?! it's like everyday i go with the flow even if it is against my will... i wake up early in the am even if i still want to hit the sack because my brother is afraid to be late... or during no classes, i have to get up because our grandma will nag me to go to the doctor or my insensitive brother just puts the tv on in full volume...
now the dog's barking! argh! this is so frustrating! i can't wait to have my own pad...
next thing is everyone expects me to do stuff all through out the day... can't i have some rest?! i mean, i know i'm not as busy as everyone... but that's just who i am... a laid back kinda girl... i want to keep things orderly...one at a time... that's why i enjoy baking, crochet and skateboarding... you need to have it step by step in order to accomplish it... not just get into it and get out then *presto*! it's all done! anyway... at night, my conscience won't do me good... if i want to sleep... it won't let me... i have to think about everything... coin... coin and coin... heck! why am i so worried?! for all i know is if he doesn't need anything from me, i'm nothing more than a somebody he would pass by and won't even say a word. erase that... i know he cares for me... he appreciates me... he loves me...:D heck! what is happening to me?! i'm being paranoid!!! anyway... maybe that's what happens if you get too much of a good thing... right?! i mean... i don't know what i mean anymore...

tama_chan

kilig!

ha ha ha!!! the title itself says it all na... :) its been a day of kiligers!!! :) anyway, started out fine... stayed at home til 1 then went to haze's house and watch csi...then went to school... then attended grad practice... then asked our chinese history teacher bout the grade of jing and coin... then went back to haze's house to get the envelope containing the description which i accidentally left... then went back to school to give it to coin... and talked to him for a while... he liked the description!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! hay... anyway... went to rp with jing and haze... watched hitch and ate buy the bucket!!! then went to aristocrat to eat then went home... checked my e-mail... and there it was!!! the message i have been waiting for for weeks!!! :) anyway... here's the deal...
i can't sleep again... thinking bout him... is he safe? is he ok? what is he doing right now? hay... stubborn me... why don't you just give up?!

tama_chan

sleepy day

last night, i slept at around 2 am... then woke up at 5 am... heck, i really don't know how to pull an all nighter. anyway, when i went to school, i stayed at our dining area and slept there. if people were a little more silent than they were, i must have slept thru our CAT graduation practice. anyway, that practice was a drag! i mean, we just stood there holding our rifles and what? nothing. we just stood there and listened to the speakers. when i got home, i checked on my e-mail... nothing important for me is in there anyway... surf the net a little and took a nap. woke up when my mobile suddenly rang... actually, it didn't happen only once... it happen thrice... it's like i wasn't really supposed to sleep continuously... :) anyway, now, i got at least a 4 hour nap to boost up my energy again... :) so, that's it for now... tomorrow is another day for our graduation practice.

tama_chan!

**the temporary description will be my final description... nothing personal but i was a little dissappointed when i was informed that the last and final description will not be arriving in my inbox today...

temporary description

this will be my chimes description for the mean time... well, it may be my final chimes description... thanks guys!

"One heck of a great friend! Whoever said that big things come in small packages must have had ‘lil’ Myshy in mind… This computer whiz can release the beauty in life and the song in every uttered word. Ready with an occasional hug, her endless supply of laughter and good advice makes her an important part of the 4A experience. Her bubbly, bouncy attitude will make her a real treasure to be kept in the heart. Even if she herself seems down, she would put away her worries to comfort a friend. We can rest assured that, as we brave the realities of post high school life, we’ll always have Mysh right behind us, cheering us all the way. She is definitely one rare gem." – compiled since 8:42 pm of march 9, 2005 by maxi, jay and mark

what do you think about it?!

tama-chan

just chill

today is a day of relaxation... well, mostly... :) we spent our graduation practice singing our graduation song "this parting will" which was composed by our own batchmate, Herschel Tan! and of course our religious song, "when you believe", our "sjcs hymn" and our thank you song, "thank you". when our grad practice ended, we went to our Hazeline's house for a while to wait for Jira's ride. and we went to our house. well, here, we first ate out, then went home and play ps... ha ha!!! :) bunch of girls, got nothing to do... and we watched a movie then ate our dinner. that's pretty much it... they just left about 5 minutes ago... :)

btw, got another chimes descriptions... :)
"Lil Mysh is truly one of a kind. She is special in her own way. Outgoing and friendly, she can bring a smile to even the darkest of days, when she settles on you as her friend, you will be sure of a five-star treatment, food, companionship, care, even a listening ear. Her bubbly, bouncy attitude will make her a real treasure to be kept in the heart. She can release the beauty in life and the song in every uttered word. In short, she can bring love and life to her friends in a way that is truly magical." –Mark
tama_chan

weird stuff

this day is just full of weirdness...
i started off running late for our graduation practice...
then when lunch came, we were at the canteen playing cards and the loser has to do some kind of consequence... depending on the will of the others. heck! i'm just so unlucky to have ten counters... meaning i have to do ten consequences! well, i already did 5... the next 5 will have to wait... i mean, they all want me to do all the 5 consequences on one person... and it's just too embarrassing!
next is well, results are nearly finished, whether we will be spending summer in our classrooms again or not... i walked up to our chinese history teacher during dismissal time... no, not to ask for my grades... coz i know i passed in that field but to ask for a friend's grade... i mean, i asked because i help this guy in studying for chinese history and he helps me out in other subjects, you could say we take turns... when some of my friends overheard what i did, they all said that that was a weird thing to do... was it?
just a few more days til graduation comes.. all of us will be heading to our own paths... maybe one last favors for friends who really do need them won't hurt too much... i mean, even if i have to put my reputation on the line... i don't care what others think anymore... i will just do what i know is right...

tama-chan

messages

well, just got my RHGP project back, and reading those dedications for me by my classmates and friends really made it hard for me to leave SJ and all my memories of it behind... and well, reading those dedications, i must admit, one certainly left me on 'kilig' mode. not that the others are insignificant... they all are important... but this guy's letter to me goes something like...

"you're one of the nicest and sweetest person i know, maybe.. you're the only one?"

and something like...

"you're one of the best people i know... the greatest!"

well, i could go on and on but i'm afraid i will be posting the whole message... :D well, i think you get the point... the whole message is just filled with sweetness, care and it certainly is over flowing with emotions considering it is rushed! :D well, while reading it, i felt a whole lot of joy and excitement... and it left me on 'kilig' mode up until now... i have read it before handing my project over but reading it again i was just so happy how i have helped him with everything... i mean, i also consider myself very very lucky to have a chance to get to know him better, to understand him a little bit and well, to actually get the chance to meet him... heck, Lord, i really am thankful for all that!

anyway, i also got 2 entries for me chimes description...

"Full of smiles and laughter, that's probably the best description for her. This girl is often happy, but she also has a serious side and is very approachable when you have problems. She is a fun person to be with. And one trait that I admire about her is that even though she herself seems down, she would put away her worries to comfort a friend. She is definitely one of the greatest people I've met in this school." – Jay

"One heck of a great friend! Whoever said that big things come in small packages must have had ‘lil’ Myshy in mind… This computer whiz is also an expert about “ahem” (as I’m sure the guys agree)… Ready with an occasional hug, her endless supply of laughter and good advice makes her an important part of the 4A experience. We can rest assured that, as we brave the realities of post high school life, we’ll always have Mysh right behind us, cheering us all the way." – Maxi

thanks a lot guys!

well, later on, i will be choosing one among them or i will be combining both of them... but i have to wait for another one... but if doesn't arrive til midnight...

that's it!

tama_chan!

moving on

chimes descriptions, graduation practices and before you know it, graduation will come and go in a blink of an eye. well, after thirteen long years in SJCS, i have learned a lot of stuff and well, i got to know the surroundings very well... SJ taught me all my first, my abc's, my first chinese characters, my name, how to read, how to write, how to make friends and how to find inspirations among the many people i got to know. heck, this entry is not all about SJ anymore... it's all about me. how i got to find my inspirations in the vast number of friends and people i met.
my senior year is my best year in SJ ever. this school year, i have the chance to get to know some really great people who may have walked in my life ages ago but i only noticed them now. i got some friends way back in prep one who i got to get to know a lot better this year. and despite the short comings, they have shown me how great a friend they can be. i mean, they inspire me in everything i do just for being there. they showed me new reasons to live. thank you guys... :) but seriously, there is one very special guy who walked in my life only during the first year and well, now i plunged into the opportunity to get to know him better and im really happy i did! anyway, we gave this guy the nickname "coin". i want to thank him really. he pushed me to do things i didn't even know i could do. i mean, when i know he expects something from me, i do my very best to do it... even though at first i don't know that i could do it. let's just say he inspires me a lot. anyway, i'm confused about him actually... maybe also because of all the teasings going around the batch... well, that's it for now...

tama-chan!

HG

last day na kanina... well, for tests, assignments, classes and hwawun anyway!!! :)) grad practices nalang... :) makakapahinga pahinga narin kahit konti... :) ang bilis ng panahon!!! parang kailan lang nabuo ang HG... nagka gulo gulo... at ngayon...we'll be leaving SJ... :(( anyway, just want to take this opportunity to say sorry to all of you... i know i havent been a good friend lately, kahit nga water deity e... :)) so... sorry... sobra... and well, thanks... for everything, the fun memories, the green-ness, the awakening of my hentai-ness... :)) ha ha ha!!! :) thanks for the acceptance... iknow you guys are my friends and well, someone out there told me youaccept me kaya nga friends ko kayo e... :) you know guys, sobrang thankful ako sa inyo... you taught me how to face problems, aiane...tanda mo pa yung sabi mo sa akin nung first year? :) you taught mehow not to be pikon, bola... your nick name for me... yun yun... :)you taught me how to be myself, neko... mga hugs nabigay ko sayo yun each and everytime... :) you also taught me how to forgive andforget, mau... kaw yun.. :) and syempre, how to be myself with other people... maxi... kaw yun... for helping me out with bam and coin... :) ha ha ha!!! :) and syempre, our megami... thanks for helping me keep my faith up each and everytime... you kept in touch kahit na busy busy... it just keeps me back up everytime ang damidami ginagawa... :) hay... you see, all of you changed my life...sorry sa iba... um... la ako maisip e... pero still, you have become an important part in my life... may special places kayo sa heartko... :) ha ha ha!!! :)) flattering ba?! ha ha ha!!! :)) well, so far, yan muna... um... thanks ulit!!! :) yan... we will soon be leaving the creepy halls of SJCS... after thirteen years, we will be able to walk out, leave our alma mater behind... one thing i'll remember the most... is the lessons i learned from it... not from the classes but about life... :) and one of them is friendship... :) so, since we will have more time siguro this summer, hopefully meron na checheck ng e-mails... o nga pala, para sa mga hindi na mention!thanks for sharing your green-ness with me and opening my inner self... :)) so, yan.. keep in touch please!!! :) and kung may mahanap kayo lemon share naman o! miss ko na magbasa ng lemons!!! :))

**remember akazukin cha cha na lemon? fave ko yun!!! :))

love ya lots
mysh
minisignal
water deity
kaeru-kani
tama-chan... :)

** o nga pala, tama-chan is my jap name... meaning coin (dama) or ball/sphere (tama) gamit ko tama kasi mascute e!!! :))

lasts...

it's hard to say good bye... but everyone has to part ways one way or the other...

as i walk into SJCS nowadays, i will always remember that in a few days time, each one of us seniors will be leaving its halls... no more walking into its creppy halls early in the morning or late at night, no more staying in cold enclosed classrooms hearing noises and sobbings from unknown entities, no more staying at the dining hall making backdrops or having practices for upcoming programs or for plays, no more playing of sports during thusdays on the ground floor, no more crowded sportsfest in the gym, and simply, no more Chinese! it may all seem fun... i mean having to leave all those things behind... the back breaking labor, the sleepless nights... but for me, leaving SJCS is like leaving a friend behind... it already took a piece of me since i entered it. it molded me to who i am today. with all the teachers who encouraged us to study hard in order for us to have a good future to look into, with the fathers who have been there to teach us every homily about God and our faith, with all the friends we have made in our thirteen year stay... maybe not just a pieces, maybe more. it sure is a funny thing, because back when i was in grade six, i was excited about leaving SJCS for good, all i can think about is soon i'll be in highschool and its goodbye SJCS forever! and i even said that if i leave SJCS, i would give it one good mock! but now, suddenly, all my emotions stirs up, not knowing what to feel anymore... happy? because all my hard work has finally paid off? because all the hard things i will be able to leave behind? or sad? because all of us will be parting... all of us will soon be off to our own paths? because i will miss my alma mater? because i grew up there... heck, i even spend more time in school than at home! i don't know... we already underwent our last mass with the high school, our last lunch, our last whole day, our last recognition... and so many more lasts... why wouldn't it just last for a lifetime?! because we all have to accept reality... that everyone will have to say goodbye even if you don't want to, even if you're now ready...
so, as long as i can still enter the creepy halls of my beloved alma mater in my school uniform and wearing my id, i will thank it for making me feel so much at home, to release all my crazy and wild ideas and actions... for making me feel so warm and fuzzy inside... for all the love it has given us. i will also plant precious memories in every part of the school because i will visit it again in the future and hopefully, i will want to remember nice memories for every step i make, for every corner i look at, i want to see the present me, having fun there with all my friends.

i'm not yet saying goodbye... i don't even plan to say goodbye in the future but, if it can't be helped then... that's it!!!

nothing much

wow! my first blog! ha ha ha!!! :) anyway, we just took our english exams awhile ago and tomorrow we will have our test in chinese history. i really should be hitting the books like most of my friends and classmates but... i think i'll have a little more fun online... ha ha ha!!! just saying that i'm still not up to studying right now... maybe later... :) anyway... i don't really know what to say here... so, i'm off to explore this whole blogger thing... sorry, i'm really new to this... :)

mysh