been checking out some videos made by some people over the internet... no, not any adult material... just anime... seems i have stumbled upon a site that features these kind of stuff where you can share your videos. anyway, i was watching some stuff and put the two best, for me, in my friendster account... you can check out my profile there if you're interested...
anyway, the moment i stumbled upon the naruto video which features sasuke and sakura, i remembered jay comparing me to sakura... and the card captor sakura video? well, i remembered the movie 2... especially syaoran's words, something like, even if i lost my memory i will still fall in love with you all over again...
nice! there's the main idea of my entry tonight... when i was in third year and fourth year high school, i remember how much i wanted to lose my memory... everything that happened in the past... every emotion i have felt... it's only because of one thing and what an important thing it was to me! of course until now it's still important to me specially since it's been resolved and now everything has been patched up. anyway, i have met a lot of people who regret the stuff that they did but doesn't want to erase it... i guess it's only me who just wants to run away. they were saying that they don't want to because even though they did it over, they wouldn't have it any other way. gets?! i guess i still haven't seen the beauty of life that way... i still want to run and hide or repeat and renew... i still think like a child...
anyway, right now, i wonder... if i lost my memory, will i still feel the way i'm feeling right now? if i lost my memory, would i still be friends with the same friends i have? if i lost my memory, will i still fall in love with the same person again? i will not know my answers to that unless i lose my memory and have amnesia... now, i still have another thing to wonder about... if ever i will have amnesia, will i be able to renew my life? would i be happier if i don't love the person i'm in love with right now? will i ever feel the same happiness that i have felt with my friends in SJ and the enjoyable things that we did specially the very first picnic that i've been thru? i guess no matter how much i have wished for amnesia that time, i really don't mean it... and when i say i want to die and i will commit suicide, i still don't mean it... why? because even if i have to live my life again, i will not have it any other way! especially the way things are with my dearest friends!
so, will i still fall in love with the same person i am in love with now? i guess there's a very big possibility that i still will... why? because he's not difficult to love... in fact, he's a very lovable person! and that's what i like about him so much!
**sorry about this entry again... i just got time to think because of this long weekend thing... so you guys out there who has a bone to pick with me, just give me a ym buzz! id is: minisignal
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