one more thing, i learned what my name means... actually, different meanings...
1. mysha (mysh)- protective
2. michelin (myshyl lyn)- lovable
3. micheline (myshyl lyn)- delightful
4. michel/mikaela (myshyl)- God loving
never thought na meron same spelling nick name ko!!! hindi na ako orig!!! pero, kaya marami kasi wala yung exact spelling ng name ko e... weird kasi spelling pero, me like! :D
what's not: serious stuff... what if you're into something that can never be?
ok... super cliche question... what will you do if you really want something but no matter what you do, you can't have it? what will you do if you have it already but it really can't be... know what i'm saying? no matter what happens, you can't have it... sad right? specially if you're really into it already... hard to let go... hard to forget... hard to ignore... hard to hide... why? because you want it and you're proud of it... right? hay... a lot of people i know have this problem right now... and what do they do? hide... that's right... hide... why? because they're afraid... they are afraid to try and fight for what they want... afraid to be liberated... afraid to be free... heck, if we don't do what we need to do in order to get that something, we really won't be able to acquire it... as i have always said, speak your mind... tell them what it's like... be brave... because when you're not all these, you can never have the guts to fight for what you want and you will never acquire it... good if what you want is just material thing... but what if it's not... what if it's pride, honor or skill? you have to work hard for it... and well, if you don't try hard enough, you won't gain it... you know why? because you are not the right one to take hold of it... in short, you made it into a "not meant to be", "not destined to be"... damn... hard right? harsh if i do say so myself...
this entry is not to lecture others, it's to lecture me as well... i have a lot of things that i want that i'm not suppose to have... what do i do? i hide everything... i use cover ups and stuff... tell a little white lie here and a big lie there... trust me... i have been lying for years!!! what are the things i'm not supposed to have? i'm not suppose to love someone so dear and i'm not allowed to care for someone so dear... there's this Chinese racist thing towards Filipinos... i know every Chinese knows that.... as well as every Filipino who have cared for a Chinese... i pondered upon the words of Karlo awhile ago...
"hindi ba kayo pwede maging normal na tao lang na pwedeng magmahal ng kahit sino?"
trust me... i don't know the answer... i think i need to mature more just to find the answer to that...
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