clean up day!

i thought i was supposed to go to the LTO today... woke up at 9 am rushed everything, just to find out that it was postponed til tomorrow... oh well...

spent the day cleaning out my closets and sorting my clothings... it took me about an hour and a half to actually finished everything... then i went to my things... my old journals, my rhgp activities... stuff that i keep that i think i want to go back to in the future... seems that i found my 3rd year rhgp activities... i saw how much i have changed... i mean, we had our activity in filling up college application forms back then... it seemed that my choices were all about psychology... and look at me now! i'm pursuing an engineering course!!! anyway, even though those were my choices then, we took a test on what is the best course for us... i wound up with engineering... guess it was meant to be? i made the right choice! :D then when i was counciled during my 2nd year, said i wanted to be an interior designer i think... then Ms. Tan told me that when i was in my 1st year, i wanted to be a chef or a lawyer... i guess that every year i have a new dream... i never thought of myself becoming an engineer in the future until i was in 4th year... perhaps it was when i really sat down and decided... when i was a kid, i wanted to be a lawyer or a journalist... then a photographer!!! imagine that?! anyway, sorting those papers, i found 3 poems inserted in a clear book... it was my poems... back in third year i think... i made those poems and well... i realized something from my poems...

Moon Smile

While looking at the evening sky,
I saw the moon shining brightly.
Wondering as it caught my eye,
Was it real or was it just me?
I saw the man haunting my dream,
Staring back at me with a smile.
I rubbed my eyes to glance at him,
He was looking back with a smile.

Never did I thought I'd see him again,
Since it was years that have gone by.
He seemed to be stuck in my brain,
I can see why, I can see why.
I don't try hard to leave my past,
I keep coming back for more pain.
All I do is run away fast,
Believing I am still sane.

Yet I looked back at the round moon,
I saw him again with a smile.
Wishing the smile would fade out soon,
I went to sleep with a sad tear.

Messenger if Heaven

As winged messenger of heaven,
Go back; go back,
For I may be wounded again,
By Cupid's act.

A bud of love I then all see,
Love be blinded!
By it's sting an curiosity,
I was once led.

As winged messenger of heaven,
I ask if thee,
Alas, let my load be lightened,
And leave me be.

Past Memories

Glistening like stars in the evening sky,
I quickly fell for those wonderful eyes.
I was staring at you while I sigh,
Leaving me a cold trail, as cold as ice.

What can I say? You're Mr. Wonderful,
Admiring your every move, I was stunned.
You send me smile but I felt like a fool,
Never knowing, it was not to be shunned.

The best things in life, I could share with you,
But it's all left behind, nothing but past.
Now I move on, a future without you,
Nothing but mere memories, past, all past.

Now I know how painful it is to love,
Hoping you'd be rewarded and be loved.
Never ain at me again joyous love,
For I may be burden to you, poor love.

3 poems... compared to "Another Chance" and "Run Away", i guess all of them have a common theme... and yet, I didn't write them all at the same time, same month or even the same year... i guess i felt it again after shunning everything away, huh? All of them talks about love that was never been... one-sided love if you want to call it... anyway, Another Chance and Run Away is dedicated to someone... and so are these three... but they are not the same person... i guess that's the beauty of it, huh? i learned... i learned but not quite everything yet...

** Another Chance was posted on March 24 and the edited one on March 25.
** Run Away was posted on March 27.