fool

why do i always need to play the fool?

i'm really trying so hard to move on and actually leave my past behind... but then, there are people who would just bring it all up again... over and over again... ok, i guess i have played the part of a fool. not just any ordinary fool but the ultimate one... believing that someone who doesn't care loves me... letting someone lead me so off track that everything i did was for him... that the reason for my existence seemed like to surround him... that was foolish... i know that. but people don't have to bring it up again... i have grown up. i now know what is good for me... although i still haven't found a reason for my existence... but don't worry, i still have a lifetime to find that out. so anyway, am i really that gullible? am i that naive to just take what other people say about me without batting an eyelash?

i guess i am.. but i learn... and yet, i still take what others tell me... kaya lagi nalang ako naloloko... nauuto... i know that i think like a child, act like one and specially am still one. but i hope other people wouldn't take advantage of who and what i am... i mean, don't overdo the harsh comments, specially if we aren't close... because i am still a girl and i tend to cry a lot. don't take me for a fool cause i really have a bad temper. don't take my smile so seriously, for sometimes, it is something i put up to disguise a crying face. don't mess with me especially if i'm hyper, for that is when i easily get irritated and mad. and most specially, don't play with me, lead me on and dump me one more time... anyone! for i hold grudges... and i don't believe in the saying "forgive and forget".

so, am i still a fool? someone else out there want to play with me? i get hurt, right, but when i plan a revenge, it's just not a plan on paper, but a plan in action as well. and expect the worst... cause it will really put any plan to shame! am i still young and gullible? would somebody out there take the challenge? play with me, but never play with the heart... cause it plots!

** isang banta... angry mysh...