truth

it's like i have a lot to confess... but i don't know if this is the right time... i don't even know when the time will be right... i'm happy... right... i long to say the truth... this is hard even for me... i know a lot of people don't believe with the barrier that i have built around me... what's happening to me? i have always spoken the truth in the past... i have always been true with my feelings... then why is it different this time? it's not like i haven't been lost in the past... i want to be true to myself... to confess what i want to say... to let my thoughts be known... that's what this blog is all about, right? so why is it that i can't? why??? am i scared? i shouldn't be scared of anything anymore... i have underwent the most traumatizing experience in my life... i have felt hell all over... i shouldn't be able to feel this anymore... someone please... help me find myself... help me put myself back together... i'm begging you... i want to say everything... simply everything... it's hard to keep it all to myself... it's hard...