here's the deal, i know i deserve to pass engcal1... i just know ok? i mean, i studied and understood the lessons well, it's just that i can't pass the exams she's giving!!! i don't f*cking know why, ok? i mean, argh! i don't know what i mean already! my head is pounding and i just want to die right here, right now.
a lot of people will tell me not to waste my life over such stupid, f*cking shit... i know that.... but then again... i don't really know what i want to do with my life already... i just want to give up and die in my sleep...
there's nothing more i want to do now than die and vanish... or be with my best friend and grieve about all the stuff i'm hiding from everyone right now... i can't be strong all the time... i can't be angry at a time like this... this anger must have been brought in by the disappointment i have in me right now... but then again, from the day i found out my quiz results in my final quiz, i knew that i was going to fail... but then, i still studied... two days of studying came to nothing... nothing but a 0.0... damn this life! damn this engcal1! i really want to stay strong... fight whatever i think is going to come flowing soon... fight the tears that wants to flow down... fight the weakness residing in me...
but i can't... i just know i can't... i have to have someone near me right... someone who could comfort me and tell me that everything will be alright... someone who could assure me that tomorrow will be another great day... as the song goes, there's a rainbow always after the rain... someone who could just give me what i need right now... and that someone is no other than my best friend...
life really bites! if i were given a chance to redo everything, i just know i can make and will make everything go smoothly... and right now, i can never have that, can i?
p.s. sorry for the foul language used...
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