on the road

man, do i hate my life! but there's one thing for sure... i'm afraid to die just yet...

i got my student's permit last wednesday, and everyone who has been around me saw my excitement over that very little change in my life. i still am excited about having my own car... in fact, i researched and asked the prices of the cars i would like to have. honda jazz, hyundai getz or kia picanto... really, not because it's the one i like but it's something that could fit the budget or even lower than the budget. i like one that's colored orange and has a sun roof like my dad's ford lynx!

i was excited too the first time my mom gave me the keys to start the engine of our present car. the second day when i started it, we nearly crashed onto the wall. i still thought it was funny because it didn't happen at all... but this morning when my mom told me to move the car forward and back... that was everything but funny. i learned that driving isn't as smooth and easy as i thought it would be. and when i sat on the front seat of my dad's car, i turned white and sat quietly...

everything changed. i knew that if i was the one who will sit behind the wheel, it would be different. as a car stopped in front of us, my back would uncomfortably push back onto the seat... really, the big road trip i am looking forward to, will just have to wait or in fact be permanently be postponed.

i'm afraid to die... i'm afraid to sit behind the wheel. i want to accelerate faster and faster but i can't... i'm just too afraid...