excited

hey there! still haven't been to the LTO... and it's already friday... anyway, tomorrow's the debut of two dear friends of mine, Jeryl and Nikki! :D

so, what's with this entry you ask? i'm getting weirder and weirder everyday... i'm excited to go back to dlsu for the second term!!! hahahha!!! i'm the laziest kind there is and i'm excited to go back the grinding place?! heck, something's terribly wrong... anyway, not only that, i'm also excited that i've been given some responsibilities for the next three months... i love it!!!

darn... the last time i checked on mysh, she was the type who doesn't want to get out of bed early in the morning and likes it when she is doing nothing at home... not to mention someone who doesn't want to spend a lot of loot!!!

and now, i see a different mysh, a different me... hindi ako mapakali sa bahay!!! i need to get out once in a while, maybe even a lot more than i need to!!! i learned how to make use of public transportation to go to the places i want to go to. i learned how to shop and eat elegantly... a lot of money... down the drain... the biggest surprise!!! i love to do a lot of things!!! i mean, i'm craving for things to do to occupy myself... to stay busy... i don't even care for my cellphone!!! i don't even have time to play some ps2 games or crimsonland!!! although i played dota a while ago... well, it was just because i had a lot of waiting to do... anyway, it's really a different mysh that i see...

hindi lang yun! the last time i look at myself, i see myself as someone who loves to wear loose shirts and loose khaki pants... paired up with a pair of rubber shoes... plain simple and well, i usually have my hair down or up in a pony tail... seldom do i style it... now, i see myself as someone who loves to shop... for skirts!!! i wear them... sometimes even sleeveless shirts... and a pair of 3-inched sandals or a pair of step ins... i changed... didn't i?

although i know that i'm still me... why is that? i still update my blog, still loves to stay online, watch cartoons, write on my journal, my bed... my friends... they are still important to me... so, i guess i'm still me huh? i still like to cook, bake... what else? i still want a bean bag!!! :P

so, i guess no matter how much i change, i'm still me... still lovable mysh... :D

clean up day!

i thought i was supposed to go to the LTO today... woke up at 9 am rushed everything, just to find out that it was postponed til tomorrow... oh well...

spent the day cleaning out my closets and sorting my clothings... it took me about an hour and a half to actually finished everything... then i went to my things... my old journals, my rhgp activities... stuff that i keep that i think i want to go back to in the future... seems that i found my 3rd year rhgp activities... i saw how much i have changed... i mean, we had our activity in filling up college application forms back then... it seemed that my choices were all about psychology... and look at me now! i'm pursuing an engineering course!!! anyway, even though those were my choices then, we took a test on what is the best course for us... i wound up with engineering... guess it was meant to be? i made the right choice! :D then when i was counciled during my 2nd year, said i wanted to be an interior designer i think... then Ms. Tan told me that when i was in my 1st year, i wanted to be a chef or a lawyer... i guess that every year i have a new dream... i never thought of myself becoming an engineer in the future until i was in 4th year... perhaps it was when i really sat down and decided... when i was a kid, i wanted to be a lawyer or a journalist... then a photographer!!! imagine that?! anyway, sorting those papers, i found 3 poems inserted in a clear book... it was my poems... back in third year i think... i made those poems and well... i realized something from my poems...

Moon Smile

While looking at the evening sky,
I saw the moon shining brightly.
Wondering as it caught my eye,
Was it real or was it just me?
I saw the man haunting my dream,
Staring back at me with a smile.
I rubbed my eyes to glance at him,
He was looking back with a smile.

Never did I thought I'd see him again,
Since it was years that have gone by.
He seemed to be stuck in my brain,
I can see why, I can see why.
I don't try hard to leave my past,
I keep coming back for more pain.
All I do is run away fast,
Believing I am still sane.

Yet I looked back at the round moon,
I saw him again with a smile.
Wishing the smile would fade out soon,
I went to sleep with a sad tear.

Messenger if Heaven

As winged messenger of heaven,
Go back; go back,
For I may be wounded again,
By Cupid's act.

A bud of love I then all see,
Love be blinded!
By it's sting an curiosity,
I was once led.

As winged messenger of heaven,
I ask if thee,
Alas, let my load be lightened,
And leave me be.

Past Memories

Glistening like stars in the evening sky,
I quickly fell for those wonderful eyes.
I was staring at you while I sigh,
Leaving me a cold trail, as cold as ice.

What can I say? You're Mr. Wonderful,
Admiring your every move, I was stunned.
You send me smile but I felt like a fool,
Never knowing, it was not to be shunned.

The best things in life, I could share with you,
But it's all left behind, nothing but past.
Now I move on, a future without you,
Nothing but mere memories, past, all past.

Now I know how painful it is to love,
Hoping you'd be rewarded and be loved.
Never ain at me again joyous love,
For I may be burden to you, poor love.

3 poems... compared to "Another Chance" and "Run Away", i guess all of them have a common theme... and yet, I didn't write them all at the same time, same month or even the same year... i guess i felt it again after shunning everything away, huh? All of them talks about love that was never been... one-sided love if you want to call it... anyway, Another Chance and Run Away is dedicated to someone... and so are these three... but they are not the same person... i guess that's the beauty of it, huh? i learned... i learned but not quite everything yet...

** Another Chance was posted on March 24 and the edited one on March 25.
** Run Away was posted on March 27.

falling in love

Here's a very nice article about love that i cam across in http://www.latestngreatest.net/falling_in_love.htm ... i can't resist but to post it for those people who are too hassled to click the link... it's nice... it's lovely... it's exactly the things i want to say but can't come out... hope the author doesn't mind me posting it here though... oh yeah! thanks! :D

Why people fall in love?

It is a mystery why we fall in love. It is a mystery how it happens. It is a mystery when it comes. It is a mystery why some love grows and it is a mystery why some love fails.

You can analyze this mystery and look for reasons andcauses, but you will never do anymore that take the life out of the experience. Just as life itself is more than the sum of the bones and muscles and electrical impulses in the body, love is more than the sum of the interests and attractions and commonalities that two people share. And just as life itself is a gift that comes and goes in its own time, so too, the coming of love must be taken as an unfathomable gift that cannot be questioned in its ways.

Sometimes, hopefully at least once in your life - the gift of love will come to you in full flower. Take hold of it and celebrate it in all inexpressible beauty. This is the dream weall share. More often, it will come and take hold of you, celebrate you for a brief moment, then move on.

When this happen to young people, they too often try to grasp the love and hold it to them, refusing to see that it is a gift that just as freely, moves away. When they fall out of love, or the person they love feels the spirit of love leaving,they try desperately to reclaim the love that is lost rather than accepting the gift for what it was, then moving on.

They want answers where there are no answers. They want to know what is wrong in them that makes the other person no longer love them, or try to get their love to change, thinking that if some small things were different, love would bloom again. They blame their circumstances and say that if they go far away and start a new life, their love will grow.

They try anything to give meaning to what has happened. But there is no meaning beyond the love itself, and until they accept its own mysterious ways, they live in a sea of misery.

You need to know this about love, and accept it. You need to treat what it brings you with kindness. If you find yourself in love with someone who does not love you, be gentle with yourself. There is nothing wrong with you. Love just didn't choose to rest in the other person's heart.

If you find yourself someone in love with you but you don't love him back, feel honored that love came and called at your door, but gently refuse the gift you cannot return. Do not take advantage; do not cause pain. How you deal with love is how you deal with yourself. All our hearts feel the same pains and joys, even if our lives and ways are different. If you fall in love with another, and he falls in love with you, and then love chooses to leave, do not try to reclaim it nor to assess blame. Let it go. There is a reason and there is a meaning. You will know in time.

Remember that you don't choose love. Love chooses you. All you can really do is accept it for all its mystery when it comes into your life. Feel the way it fills you to over flowing,then reach out and give it away. Give it back to the person who brought it alive in you. Give it to others who deem it poor in spirit. Give it to the world around you in any way you can.

There is where many lovers go wrong. Having been so long without love, they understand love only as a need. They see their hearts as empty places that will be filled by love, and they begin to look at love as something that flows to themrather than from them.

The first blush of new love is filled to overflowing, but as their love cools, they revert to seeing their love as a need.They cease to be someone who generates love and instead become someone who seeks love. They forget that the secret of love is that it is a gift, and that it can be made to grow only by giving it away.

Remember this and keep it to your heart. Love has its time, its own season, its own reason for coming and going. You cannot bribe it or coerce it, or reason it into staying. You can only embrace it when it arrives and give it away when it comes to you. But if it chooses to leave from your heart or from the heart of your lover, there is nothing you can do and there is nothing you should do. Love always has been and always will be a mystery. BE GLAD THAT IT CAME TO LIVEFOR A MOMENT IN YOUR LIFE.

If you keep you heart open, it will come again...

"Letters To My Son"by Kent Nerburn

my fantasy

hey, seems i was right... i can't resist this blog...

anyway, since i was a child, i have been looking at how my dad was the perfect man... i mean, of course some may think that, it's your dad, he's the first guy you know so that's pretty much normal... right? wrong! well, in my case actually... here's the deal...

when i was a child, i'm always with my dad... we spend time together in the kitchen cause he's such a good chef! anyway, the point is, i had an arguement with my dad a few years back and didn't really take to him after two years... see that? that means, i don't consider my dad as the ultimate man... but, anyhow, i still see my dad as someone great... someone i need to look up to. i love my dad...

anyway, here's the point of this entry... i always rant about men... i was quite a boy-hater back then... i always say that... well... i won't mention it here... but that's it... now i realized that whatever was my idea back when i was child is what i should continue. here's where the fantasy thing comes... i want someone who is similar to my dad...

this someone shouldn't really be tall, dark and handsome... shouldn't really be lean, mighty and strong... shouldn't really be a great dancer or great at any sport for that matter... shouldn't really be mr. heart throb... shouldn't really be a musician...

in fact, this someone is a great chef! this someone is handy in everything, handy with electronics, techies and decisions... this someone is hardworking, patient yet strict. someone who have the power to intimidate people when needed. someone outgoing and a great singer! this someone is sociable and not afraid to take the risk. someone who has a mind of his own... and yet, someone loving, loyal and caring... someone understanding, challenging and who has a big heart that i could see...

i guess there's no two person really alike... the person i see is someone who is tall, dark and handsome; a heart throb; a great singer and dancer; hardworking, patient, sociable; he's someone who isn't afraid to take the risk; outgoing, challenging and lean; above all that, he's loving, caring, sweet and charming beyond words...

am i looking at the one or not? :P

one-sided love and rejection

here's another one of my thoughts... i have been thinking about a lot of things lately even though i don't seem like it... anyway... here goes...

love is a wonderful thing for some right? and it may be a terrible thing for some... but have you ever thought what is wonderful and what is terrible? i guess no one can really tell right? since every man is given the choice to lie or to tell the truth... i guess wonderful love is when both parties tell the truth and really love each other... and terrible is the term which can be used when talking about 'one-sided' love...

love is one-sided when only one gives his all and the other simply receives... it does not have the give-and-take relationship. it is when only one party is sincere... when only one party is true... when only one party cares... i guess when you have that kind of love, you shouldn't expect much right? cause there is no guarantee that it will turn out the way you want to... you could simply move away slowly and try to put everything in the past...

but what if you can't already? what if it's too late? there is no such such thing as late except for scheduled meetings or tasks... in life, there is no such word when you are still young. being young means having the chance to do everything we want to do. we are only young once, so why waste it right? so, moving away is never too late... but there is such thing as a hard departure... you have clinged/ hanged on too tight that you are now afraid to lose that special someone... afraid to be alone... i guess everyone wants someone to be there for them... but what if everything is a lie?

i guess being rejected doesn't mean that everything will end... being rejected is all a part of life... and yet, being rejected still hurts... it still damn f*cking hurts... everyone needs to be ready for this... why? because we may encounter this in everyday of our lives... rejection... such a harsh word, right? the word itself stings when you say it... but why does rejection need to hurt? why do people need to get hurt? isn't it unfair? i mean, why couldn't people live happily all the time? why do we have to face such hard things?!

awhile ago while walking home, i got the chance to decide on the things i want to do... and finally ending this blog is one of the top choices... i started this blog to write down the things i did while i still thought about confessing... and i kinda decided to end this blog because i'm not wishing for anything anymore... man... it hurts!!! i'm not hoping for anything anymore... not expecting anything anymore... not asking for anything anymore... i guess i can't resist this blog can i? another thing i thought of is to give up... give up until it's gone... forever...

past

oh well... just read my entries from last march... i found myself? pathetic, weak, coward and a loser... seriously!!!

i have changed so much since then... i mean, since i said what i want, i have been so much different... i have grown if you want to put it that way... i'm not anymore a coward... i don't mention the nickname 'coin' anymore... i don't ask if i should tell him... it's cause i know that i can do anything if i put my mind into it.

last time i watched As Told By Ginger, it was the graduation episode... it was said that when you wish to a butterfly, it carries it with it to the skies and sometimes it comes true... but when you hold on to it for too long, it dies. i guess that's true... we all have to learn how to let go... let go and make a wish... who knows, maybe it's because you let go that it comes back to you two-folds right? that's the mystery of life... that's what i learned... and trust me, i learned it in a hard way...

i find myself now as someone who could do anything i want to... i can't even believe that it was me who wrote those entries last march... and it was just what? 6 months!!! a half year... that's what it took me to learn how to gather my guts and do what ever i want... makapal na mukha kung makapal... :D as i said last time, i don't f*cking hell what others want to think... i don't care what anybody think about me... because what i believe in is what matters to me...

just like in cwts last time, we were asked to describe ourselves using a cartoon character... described myself as p-chan, the pig version of ryoga from ranma 1/2... why? not because i don't have a good sense of direction, not because i'm strong when i'm miserable... but because i'm determined... i do anything just to get what i want... and guess what... so far, i'm contented with what i have in my life... well, except when i go window shopping again... i can't seem to get enough material things... crave for more and more and more!!! gyahahahha!!! i love shopping na!!! i really have changed!!!

course card

wah! doomsday number three... done! :D it's really not doomsday cause i found myself very happy until now... here's the deal...

i told myself last night that i could face anything today... what ever will come, i can take it and accept it... then there i was, in dlsu at around 8 am... trying to find out what's in store for me when i get my engalge and trigsol course cards... nahirapan ako sa mga yun e... adjusting... gyahahah!!! anyway, got my p.e. course card first and the rest followed... here's the results...

peindiv 4.0
saliksik P
nstp-c1 2.5
philhis 4.0
grapone 2.5
filipi1 2.0
engalge 2.0
trigsol 1.5
orient1 P
englone 3.5

so, that pretty much vanquished my DL fantasy... gyahahha!!! but when i got my course card in trigsol... even though it's my lowest, i was estatic!!! gosh!!! i hugged nikka and nikki because i really went hyper... i can't believe i passed engalge and trigsol!!! gyahahah!!! i was jumping all over the room not thinking about what others may thing... sabay tawag sa phone! super tuwa ko na i just have to tell the news to my best at once! anyway, after getting my gpa, (2.75)... nanghinayang ako... i should have tried harder... studied harder not only during the finals... i could have made it!!! argh!!! nasa huli nga ang pagsisisi... o well, next term... swear! nerdox na ako... sobra!!! gagayahin ko na si beloved cousin... :P

thanks best! :D kaw una nag congrats sa akin! :D

happy happy day!!!

wow!!! this is by far one happy day!!! everything is outasite! :D

well, went to ust awhile ago... get this, pangatlong beses ko na pumunta dun by jeep, isang beses palang ako hindi naligaw... and hindi ngayon yun... :D in short, i got lost... again!!! i went on the wrong jeep... ok... stupidity... to the max!!! anyway, i walked around espana area for like 30 minutes under the hot sun looking for dapitan street!!! i was at the wrong side all the time... anyway, when i found my way to dapitan, i call some people up... told them i was in ust that time... and i would be staying in bk with haze and jira... gyahahha!!! we had lots of fun catching up on each others lives... trust me, getting lost and riding 3 jeepney rides... it's all worth it once i saw my best friend... :D we were: haze, jira, sd, anne cua, athan, porman and me.

at around 130 pm... it's time for me and jira to vamoose! oh, that's after anne and sd treated us with some japanese cakes from... somewhere... :P anyway, we rode a taxi going to kenevvy's house for our scheduled badminton session... ok... after having a lot of food fest last week, it's finally time to get it off our tummies! :D so, jira, kenevvy, czayenn and me rode a jeepney off to make some game! we played badminton from i don't know what time til 5 pm... trust me... i was icky, yucky, stinky and sticky!!! gyahahhaha!!!

but never the less, i really had so much fun today... thanks guys! :D

quizzy thingy

7 random facts about you:
1. love sleeping
2. now liking shopping
3. photography is my thing... ata...
4. can't live without my cellphones
5. love to chill
6. internet dependent
7. kj na sa inuman... gyahahahha!!!

7 things that scare you:
1. losing my cellphone privileges... wah!!! nightmare!
2. losing my access to the www... torture!!!
3. roaches... kadiri!!!
4. angry people... scary...
5. being bored to death... at HOME!!!
6. sparking wires or electric outlets...
7. losing someone dear...

things you like most:
1. music... cant live without it...
2. my laptop...
3. my cellphones...
4. skirts and shoes!!! adore them!!!
5. my digicam...
6. movies!!!
7. writing when i'm in the mood...

7 important things in my bed room:
1. laptop
2. bed
3. haro
4. tv
5. journals
6. pictures
7. my candle collections and models

7 things you plan to do before you die
1. be a millionare?! :D
2. learn french, spanish, nihonggo and speak straight chinese...
3. learn how to play the guitar and the violin.. .and the drums
4. be better in math... actually, to love and adore math... :))
5. go to disneyland... or tour around the world...
6. drive
7. tell all my loved ones that i love them and how much they mean to me...

7 things I can't do:
1. earn enough money to satisfy my needs and desires...
2. resist long enough
3. stop crying before i go to sleep
4. sleep continuously...
5. draw...
6. sit in front of a sewing machine and stitch all the designs i want
7. don't eat while i'm baking... i always seem to be taking a few even before the whole batch is done...

7 things that atttract you to the opposite sex:
1. eyes
2. physique... sexy men... *shy away*
3. sense of humor
4. pag maalaga sa akin
5. attractive ang kilos... in short, magaling sumayaw...
6. cute!!! in every way... sobra!!!
7. expressive... and sensitive...

7 things you say the most:
1. pOta!
2. shEt!
3. yikes!!!
4. pUcha...
5. fUck!!!
6. bUllshEt!
7. o my gosh...

7 celeb crushes:
1. David Boreanaz!
2-7. ala na e... :P

7 people you want to take this quiz:
1. mama teppie
2. megami
3. unisse
4. maxi
5. ahya terry
6. herschel
7. kung sino pa may gusto?! :D

after the pain

got a day of window shopping today! well, for me, window shopping is a drug... know why? because everytime i "window" shop, i tend to crave for so many things... i want this, i want that... enough wants to make my pocket flat and my money go bye bye... even though i don't bring any money at all like awhile ago, i tend to list it all down and return the next day... like what i will be doing tomorrow...

im not a shopaholic til around this july i think... i always had some pocket money for a chill out time but not now... i always want to go shopping... dati, hilain mo ako, hindi parin ako magshoshop for clothes... now, i just can't seem to get away from them... here's another thing, in the past, you won't be able to let me wear a skirt so often... once in a blue moon ani nga... now, i shop for skirts! gosh!!! nothing surprising about shoes though... i have always love shoes...hell!!! i'm crazy about shoes!!!

anyway, i'm gonna end this discussing of shopping and me becoming a shopaholic right now... it reminds me of the things i want to acquire... trust me... it's gonna cost me a fortune!!! just look at my wishlist... that isn't even 1/4 of what i like to buy... or to have... o, btw, my wishlist has just been updated a little while back... :D anyway, shopping is my get away, you know, besides comics and video games... it's my paradise from the world... just not a vacation for my wallet though... :P

sufferings... pathetic

finally... i got the guts to write something in here again... not everything really...

first of all, i want to apologize to some people... me being eighteen doesn't mean i can have drinking fest when i want to... i still got responsibilities... like not letting people get worried about me getting drunk... mahina ako sa inuman dudes... isa lang may amats na ako... anyway, the reason is that and that alone... i don't want others to worry about me ever again...

next, all these things that i keep on thinking about right now is really starting to bug me... i hate myself for thinking... wish i don't think at all... not that i think all the time... i usually don't think... but... with all this thinking, i'm suffering already... i'm becoming pathetic... anyway... i don't want to go into details...

lastly, i got to free myself...


Your Japanese name should be

'Aki'

which means
"autumn".

You can be compared with
autumn, the way the autumn weather changes, is
how your feelings change. You have these mood
swings you can't control; one moment you're
happy, the next you're feeling almost
depressed. You're probably sensitive and
creative.


Which Japanese name fits you best? [females, 9 results + absolutely stunning ANIME pictures!]
brought to you by Quizilla


You're crying because you're confused. You're going
through a lot of changes and you don't know
whether to be happy or upset. You don't know
what to do or who to trust. You're afraid to
move on, but you're also afriad to stay where
you are. Sometimes you just wish you could
disappear.


Why are you crying? (beautiful pics)
brought to you by Quizilla

could it be

ever since i watched kim possible:so the drama last saturday in disney channel, i have been totally hooked up to its plot and the song... could it be

Could It Be
]

I Know we've been friends forever
But now I think Im feeling something totally new
and after all this time I opened up my eyes
now I see you were always with me

[chorus]
could it be you & I
never imagined
could it be suddenly Im fallin' for you
could it be you were right here beside me and I never knew
could it be that its true
Its you and its you

Its kinda funny you were always near
but who would ever thought we'd end up here
and everytime I need you youve been there for me
now its clear Ive been waiting for you

[chorus]
cause today is the start of the rest of our lives
I can see it in your eyes
and its real/and its true
Its just me and you
could it be that its you

[chorus]

[ ]

i know it's kinda juvenile... i mean, a lot of stories have almost the same plot... it's really predictable, and yet, i find the story nice... like the one in card captor sakura and ufo baby... i find the formula used in this kind of shows nice and really captivating... i mean, a guy and a girl.... knowing each other for so long and not realizing that they are falling for each other... hey, i can't say that i don't fantasize... i do actually... ala lang... trip... :D it's a nice song btw, could it be by Christy Carlson Romano... you should listen to it sometime.. :D

calvin and hobbes

it seems that since wednesday, i think, i have been reading calvin and hobbes comics besides the usual archie comics that i usually read... anyway, why am i saying this? it's because i really find the two of them overly cute and funny!!!

i find reading comics of calvin and hobbes relaxing... yet ironical in my part because we are about to have our finals for our two major subjects come monday and tuesday and we already started our exams last week starting with philhis and the rest followed... in fact, just this morning, we just had our p.e. practical and written exams. anyway, you can say that since i was at a younger age, i have been found of reading comics and never got to get this passion of mine to stop since then...

anyway, how relax am i? i'm very relaxed right now, i got my sleep and i finished two calvin and hobbes book collections this week, we finished our grapone finals and i just have to average my plates... which by the way is not complete... has anybody seen my plate in dimensions around dlsu??? or did someone borrow it? please please please, let me know.. i got a 99 on that plate and i don't want to repeat it again!!! so anyway, i shouldn't be relaxing right now since i have a failing average on both engalge and trigsol... help!!! i should be solving my day away... but i plan to do it tomorrow...

that's the point of this entry! there! right there!!! the statement in red! i just noticed how irresponsible i have become... putting everything off which can be done today... i have been prone to procrastination and just seem to have a carefree life... i shouldn't be this way! i mean, i know my potentials, i know i can do better... but why not do it? in fact, why put it off?! i'm lazy... so lazy that the moment i plop down my bed i fall asleep right away! why does life have to have so many pressure?? (that didn't sound right...) why does life have to be fast paced?! i want to take it leisurely... one step at a time... not meeting deadlines and rushing everything!!!

anyway, calvin have it easy... the way his problems are presented... the way naughtiness comes to him naturally and he seem not to care about it... i wish my life was a comic strip... short and safe.. by safe i mean, when there's an error, it can be corrected right away, there's always the eraser and the choice of redoing the whole thing... oh well... that's life...

wish me luck for my finals!

ad campaign

today is the day we presented our ad campaign presentation for our filipi1 course... i wore a business attire that guys wear with the long sleeves and tie... i love it! really had fun with it.. :P

Mina Manash Spa and Beauty Center... Go Beyond Beauty...

our output which we edited over and over again wasn't really that bad... it went quite good... i was nervous when i presented the tag line, selling line and jingle. i was trying not to pan the audience and focus on the prof and a friend of his who were the judges for the presentation, but i couldn't help but pan the audience... total black out came to me... good thing i got the paper on hand... but still i paused quite a few times and neglected to mention some other stuff.

this is a memory made in DLSU with my fellow groupmates JB, Dan and Luis and our leader, Matthew for the first term. and i'm sorry guys.... i messed up... big time! anyway, i still say that we did well... i had fun doing it with you guys! :D thanks!

memories

the whole day... i have done nothing but look over my rhgp project last school year... my version of our class album... gosh.... i know i have been bitten by mr. sentimental bug again... (is there such thing?!) anyway, early in the morning, i browse thru it... looking at the ill-printed nice pics... really, i should have had it all printed... the names of the people and flipping over the messages... i wasn't really reading them because i still got a clear memory of what was written... the likes of: "malapit na graduation...", "walang limutan a!", "thanks", "college..." and so on... it was what you can call, obvious, cliches...

during our break, i repeatedly went over our class album... now reading the messages... first the short ones as i know they contain almost the same stuff... "good luck","thanks" and the likes... simple yet very meaningful and heart-filling... there... then we continued on to class... the album... still in my bag...

when we were about to listen to a talk about our course in LS building, i was now reading quite a few, showing it to some of my seatmates... and well... i felt really proud... proud of what? proud of my batch... our batch... proud of my friends... how precious they are to me... proud of myself... for having found friends and for being a Judenite... then the talk went on...

before our philhis class, i was sitting there and now reading the messages seriously one by one... i almost found myself crying because of the messages... i really am lucky because of the friends i have found... the people who made a change in my life... as i read thru them... i found words... cliche maybe but touching and true... "lagi ako nandito pag may problema ka...", "walang limutan pag college a!", "hope we will always be good friends...", "we're about to end a chapter of our lives...", "lapit na grad! la na chinese...", "thanks", "tanda mo pa...?", "wag ka magbabago a...", "i'm glad i met you...", "wish to get to know you better...", "ingats lagi...", "love yah..."

funny how certain words have so much impact to me... i mean, those are simply words written by different people on a piece of paper (bubblegum note pads)... funny how words can make me shed tears... funny how simple words can bring so much memories... funny how we spent each time together and never thought we would be looking back at them... funny how i miss you guys so much... some people have already move on... now living new lives... but why can't i move on?

am i too attached to the past???

things that make me think

there are things that simply makes you remember stuff that you don't want to think about anymore... for me... here are some things that really let my heart thump and my tears flow...

1. rain
the rain is very depressing. a lot of memories have been spent there and it all seems like fun-filled memories but now... they are really just memories... happy memories yet sad memories too... i miss the pillow fight in our car when we were in grade 6. me and my best friend back then were having a pillow fight in our car while waiting for my brother to finish his lunch. why pillow fight? i was about to take his picture when he suddenly threw a throw pillow at me! it was about minutes long before we stopped... i miss that fun... i miss my friend...

and there's that time that i rushed thru the rain just to give my current best friend is things because he was absent from class. although i was soaking wet, i felt good that i helped him out... i miss you... you know who you are...

and there's my passion, photography under the rain... oh, did i mention that the summer before third year during my birthday it was raining hard... i went to our patio and swear, i was texting my friend and i was crying real hard... i was also soaking wet then because the wind was going to my direction. a lot of painful memories are now formed from happy memories... but i guess that's how it should be...

2. some songs and some stories
some songs that i can relate to... there are those songs played over and over again and i just can't stop but listen and really feel the song... put it in my heart and sometimes it causes my tears to flow down...

then there are thos stories... heart breaking ones... hay... such sweet endings... i sometimes wish that life is a story... everyone can write the plot of their own stories... but i guess that would never work out since everybody doesn't want the same thing... everyone has their own wants and desires...

3. messages
particularly text messages... my mobile can hold a lot of text messages... hundreds in fact! but can you believe that i can fill those with just messages from one person? i keep messages that i feel are so important to me because them encourage me and empower me to continue to live on... sometimes when i feel down, i just browse thru my inbox, my folders and the likes... read some messages from friends and there you go, i am pushed to continue to live life to the fullest. i always have a hard time to erase some messages in my phone...

even though sometimes i feel like breaking down and have no one to talk to, i open some letters from friends from way back i was in grade 2 (promise, nasa akin pa mga letters niyo) read some to make me feel happy... happy to know that those people who i called my friends back then are still my friends now... and then there's the rhgp project last school year and the recoletters from dear friends... sometimes i cry just by reading those letters... swear...

4. friends
now here's something i can never live without... they serve as my inspiration... swear... i think i can never do anything without these guys... i know that what ever happens they are right there, behind me, cheering for me... i really feel so lucky that even though i dont have a particular clique and all i got are close friends and my best friend, i know that these guys are my treasures... they are the best among everyone else! i love you guys!!! believe it or not, when i don't get to see them for a while and i suddenly see them... gosh... i cry... like the first mass this year in sjcs... when i sw that most of our batchmates returned... ask the people around me... i cried! i looked like an idiot there... crying my eyes out... know why? because i found my treasures again... my gems in life... the reason why my life is so glittery! :D

so, those are the things that make me think... think deep and cry... i'm becoming to be such a crybaby!!!

songs i love

Inside Your Heaven -- Bo Bice
I've been down
Now I'm blessed
I felt a revelation coming around
I guess its right, it's so amazing
Everytime I see you I'm alive
You're all I've got
You lift me up
The sun and the moonlight
All my dreams are in your eyes

I wanna be inside your heaven
Take me to the place you cry from
Where the storm blows your way
I wanna be earth that holds you
Every bit of air you're breathin' in
A soothin' wind
I wanna be inside your heaven

When we touch, when we love
The stars light up
The wrong becomes undone
Naturally, my soul surrenders
The sun and the moonlight
All my dreams are in your eyes

And I wanna be inside your heaven
Take me to the place you cry from
Where the storm blows your way
And I wanna be the earth that holds you
Every bit of air you're breathing in
A soothing wind
I wanna be inside your heaven

When minutes turn to days and years
When mountains fall, I'll still be here
Holdin you until the day I die

And I wanna be inside your heaven
Take me to the place you cry from
Where the storm blows your way
I wanna be inside your heaven
Take me to the place you cry from
Where the storm blows your way
I wanna be earth that holds you
Every bit of air you're breathin' in
A soothin' wind
I wanna be inside your heaven

Oh yes I do
I wanna be inside your heaven

Oh wow... i have fallen in love with this song... i kept on playing and playing it non stop and if it were a cd, the cd must be worn out by now... i really love Bo Bice!


I've Fallen For You -- Jamie Rivera

What is this i'm feelin'
I just can't explain
When you're near,I'm just not the same.
I try to hide it,Try not to show it.
It's crazy how could it be

CHORUS
I've fallen for you
Finally, my heart gave in
And i'm fallen in love
I fin'lly know
How it feels
When you said hello,
I looked in your eyes.
Suddenly, I felt good inside.
Is this really happ'nin?
Or am I just dreaming?
I guess, it's true.
I can't believe
I've fallen for you
Finally, my heart gave in.
And I'm fallen in love
I fin'lly know how it feels
So this is love...

Doesn't matter where I am,
Thoughts of you still linger in my mind
No matter what time of day
I've really, really
Fallen for you...

Now I've fallen for you
Finally, my heart gave in.
And I'm fallen in love
I fin'lly know how it feels
I've fallen for you finally, my heart gave in.
And I'm fallen in love...
I fin'lly know how it feels...so this is love.....

this one is just nice... simply nice... i love it!

addicted...

newbie!!!

wow!!! after a very long time i finally changed my layout! ok... i envied Kathy Go's layout so i decided to adopt somewhat the same one.. :P so sue me... anyway... i will find time to renew my layout again... i got 3 layouts in line... i'll just wait for the perfect moment to change it again... :D

anyway, it has again been a very rainy day... bad thing is, our block was driven to wear business attire to dlsu because we will get plus five for our trigsol test... five points is big for a math test... trust me! anyway, there... my feet ache because of the shoes, as if im not always wearing high heeled everyday... anyway, everything still seems to be the same as any ordinary day... go to dlsu, go home, sit in front of the pc and type away.. but i changes my blog layout... isn't it nice? :P i want to thank the designer... :P

anyway, that's it... so, expect to see a tremendous change again next time... maybe during our term break or it will be on december already... nothing much really...

"when the rain falls, it feels like heaven's crying..."
crying is not an option... i wish it was... so i wouldn't have to feel this way...

simply bummed

i simply don't have time for this... but anyway... so far i have done nothing but be busy busy and busy... you could say with the finals coming the the semester ending i have done nothing but be a busy body. time really flies even though you're not having fun... imagine, it's just like yesterday thatwe graduated from sjcs... heck! i still miss sj!!! what's wrong with me anyway? anyway, not only that... i found myself singing our graduation song "Parting Will" and our alma mater song, "SJCS Hymn" awhile ago together with Ian in the conservatory, north wing... weird isn't it?! we were singing our batch's version of the SJCS Hymn... anyway... not only that... i miss our never ending editing for speech class... ... ... although some may loathe and despise it... that's my favorite part in speech! anyway, i am currently in the process of editing a video file 15 seconds long and an audio file supposedly 20 seconds long for our ad campaign presentation for our Filipino class... bummed... why? because it's not like what we did in highschool... in high school, we were recording as a group... about 6 people in a group will be going to a house and spend hours and hours of endless entertainment but still get the job done... not like in college where only a few people is in a group and there's the very short notice in doing it. in short, despite all these things that i am supposed to do, i still can't stop thinking that we are not any more in sj... that we went on and moved on to a much bigger institution where you simply don't have the chance to know everyone in the campus. i still can't stop comparing everything to sj... is it the post-sj syndrome? heck! sabihin niyo nga if you also feel the same way!!! i feel like i'm a stupid creature who keeps on going back to the past...

really... i miss everyone... miss sj and most of all... i miss my best friend!!! sobra!!! i feel like breaking down na... i want to cry but i can't... someone once told me "bakit hindi ka umiyak?" gosh... kung kaya ko lang di ba?! but my pride just can't be lowered...

ayan... umuulan nanaman...

tagged...

i've been tagged!!!! the next person i tag needs to answer the two questions too! :D

What are the things you enjoy even when no one around you wants to go out and play?

i blog!!! hahahah!! isn't it obvious?! anyway, not just blogging... i also love writing fics... all kind of fics... then there's the never ending ym... downloading countless mp3s... then the sound trippings... what else is there? there's also the doing of assignments... sleeping, tv and staring into nothing thing... :D

What lowers your stress/ blood pressure/ anxiety level?
photography... love it!!! then there's tv... sleepinh, mindless logging on the net... that kind of stuff... then there's my beloved journal... baking... texting... skateboarding... and crochet... but of course there's also shopping... non stop shopping!!! and now, there's CRIMSONLAND!!!

next person i'm gonna tag... herschel!!! :D

birthday bash!

a rainy day... almost non stop actually... anyway, spent the day at Haze's house again, like we usually do during our spare time... :D

tonight... went to golden fortune. i was informed by Kathy Go that there will be a surprise for Jubilee there. by the way, this is the reason why i didn't greet her here last 04 August which was her true birthday. we were trying to keep very quiet in our room next to theirs at first... we were part of the surprise ata e... dunno... :P anyway, i was late... in fact, very late! everything was cold even the hot tea but the room was hot... i mean, the aircon was on but it was exhausting hot air... anyway, when we asked the waiter to adjust the aircon, it suddenly freezed the room! talking about one extreme to another! anyway, when everything was set and Jubi was about to enter the room, we were scattered in the room, anticipating her to open the door and see what we have in store for her. a simple surprise party no doubt! :D anyway, the moment she entered, we were singing happy birthday to her and threw cloudfuls of confetti... hahahah!!! we asked her to make a wish and blew out all the candles... when she blew them off, we (i mean mark and i) were starting to act like little children bopping each other with balloons! hahahhaa!!! i dunno, i think osmond has a record of it... it's called world war 6 i guess... i don't know why 6 but... oh well... :P oh well, then we ate the cake.. :D yummy! :D happy birthday Jubi... :D then we went on to picture takings! then it's back to balloon bopping!!! gyahahahhaa!!!! then we played a spanking game... oh my, were my hands red!!! in short, i lost big time!!! gyahahahahaha!!!! anyway, then it was thumb wrestling... my thumb is too short and his thumb was too tall!!! in short, i lost again!!! ok... it was basically us who were playing there... i'm already 18! and i still act like a little kid!!! i guess nothing will change... :P

my whole day was fun! wish i could have another day with my high school pals... it just ain't right without them... :D so, that's it...

Happy 18th Birthday Jubi!!!

pics...

mama tep's debut

most beloved retreat

speechfest

star city

graduation

cwts

butterfly

mike and me

sentimental

ok... perhaps i have been too sentimental these past few days... remembering the retreat i had with the people i feel so attached to... i think i really have it bad! but for one last time to reminicse this great event in my life for this year... let me have it this way...

Mark and I were having our morning walk across the boundaries of the retreat house after a heavy breakfast. we were talking seriously about what happened the night before, "hawak ko nga yung bimpo ko tapos ganito ako o... *punching two knuckles together*" "hahahah!!! nervous ka!!!" right... i was nervous... "bili tayo cookies dun sa..." nature was the only thing around us... it surrounded us and i felt like we were lost, but we were not. when we returned, "mark! mysh! picture kayo!" we had our picture taken by Kathy Go. then the mass... readings, songs, offertories, and so it goes... last songs... "at the beginning", "if we hold on together"... we cried... no, they cried... i have no more tears that time because all my tears were dried up from the night before... then we went on the bus... on to our merry way back to sj... Maxi and I were sitting beside each other, having my haro with me, we slept on the ride home...

imagine if we were still in fourth year... imagine if we were still up in Tagaytay... imagine if we were still crying our hearts out... imagine if nothing changed... imagine if we hadn't move on...

we would still be in our high school uniforms, polo and green pants for the guys and long sleeves with neck tie and green skirt for the gals... we would still be wearing our ids instead of keeping them inside our wallets... we would still be asked to cut our fingernails and for the boys to have their haircut... we would still be suffering in loads full of Chinese to memorize... we would still be wearing our school pins... we would still be having lunch in the same fifth floor with our peers which is now installed with electric fans... we would still be with each other...

time flies and things change... i changed a lot since our retreat... my outlook in life... my feelings for the people around me... my faith... my trust in people... almost eveything changed... i grew...

there's a lot of things that has happened after our retreat, you guys took the upcat the weekend after our retreat, then other college entrance exams followed, admu, dlsu, ustet and csb... then the speechfest... the sportsfest... the last mass... the last lunch... the final periodical tests in sj... the pre-graduation mass... the graduation... the summer outings... gosh, and we went our separate ways...

i still can't get over the fact that we're now in college... busy with our own scheds... meeting new friends... in contact thru e-mail, phone or text messages only... we don't see each other's faces each and everyday... i don't have the chance to give you guys some of my home baked pastries... meeting some people once a week only or sometimes even none...

here's my message to my fellow batchmates:
even though time and distance keeps us apart, you will always be number one in my heart... as one friend once told me... "hindi na ako magbbye kahit kelan..." i will always be here for you guys... miss ya all!

this marks the day

hey fellow batchmates! specially 4A people... yesterday marks the day! of what? of our retreat silly!!! yesterday, it was officially one year since we had our retreat in Tagaytay.

anyway, the people in my phone book were able to receive a forwarded message from me last night... hope it was not a bother to you guys... and some even received a message from me after my impromptu speech in class. heck, if i could only go back to that time... i would... a thousand or a million times more! i miss it... last night i was on cloud nine.. i couldn't sleep nor coud i stop thinking. i thought about my diad with maxi exactly one year ago... the things we talked about and how some of our classmates reacted when we were paired up because they said that we were already close... which was partly true because we were classmates in prep and we were pretty ok during second year... anyway, that's not the point... we had fun talking with each other... though it brought tears to me because... i don't know... :)) then the reco letters... the never ending reco letters... i didn't have time to read it again last night... but i have read it a thousand times before during the summer... together with my album of highschool. anyway, i thought about the yoga thing this morning... i have forgotten everything! Paulo M.! teach us again! :D then there's the lectures and the songs... wah... i really miss it... how fast time flies when you're having fun? no... how time flies when you miss the past... then by now we are on our second diad... i was with johann this time... we talked about a lot of stuff and we even tried to pull a trick on porman, feeding him unknown seeds... (good thing he didn't swallow it though :P) we were like talking about anything under the sun... anyway, then later on we are supposed to share our insights for the class... this is really tear jerking!!! i mean, everyone was crying, hankies were all wet and tissues were all over the place... not to mention we were all in our jammies!!! gyahahahaha!!! :)) we looked cute!!! anyway, another thing, after the sharing, we had our midnight snack in the cafeteria... chocolate strawberries! :D gyahahahhaa!!! pringles and stuff galore! all of us were there, enjoying our midnight snack like one big family... then tomorrow will be our last day... the tear jerking mass and the farewell to Tagaytay and return to our SJ lives... but before all that, i wouldn't forget my morning walk with mark! :D

i miss the meals! in our table, i was pushing vegetables up their throats because i don't eat veggies! anyway, the whole class will be praying together like one big family... and guess what?! our room... i forgot the key inside and locked the door!!! gyahahahaha!!! sorry again kartier and jubi! :D that was stupid of me... :D anyway, what else? the yummy buco pie... i wouldn't forget that!!! it's a part of the retreat... gosh... in short, i would like to sum it up in 4 words...

i miss you guys!!!

hope to experience it one more time... it just isn't the same without you...

if only... fiction

ok, here's the deal... last tuesday, we watched "If Only" before i actually attended our filipino class which i vowed never to enter... i didn't mean that... anyway, not to criticize it or anything, cause i didn't get the chance to watch it from the start or to finish the movie, i loved the story! gosh... call me stupid and brainless but tears flowed down from my eyes the moment they went to the guy's place... oh well... that's life...

anyway, another deal... i don't know whether i am ever going to get peace during our p.e. class... i can't get the forms in taekwondo!!! it needs concentration and focus... i can't seem to have it!!! gosh!!! i guess i'm the only one stupid enough not to get it... it seems that something is always bothering me... (e-mail, text or ym me if you want to help me out on this one)

another one... i entered writing fics again!!! wow!!! after... (counting from second year til now) almost three years!!! hahaha!!! but i have evolved... not anymore just fan fics... it's now ordinary fiction, in short, my own original! finally have the chance to make every character obey my every will!!! even the hair styles, the attitude, and the way of thinking!!! gyahahahahaha!!! anyway, most of my fics back then were from Slam Dunk, and the ever so famous and cute Hisashi Mitsui!!! but from now on, it will be (and i hope) my really unique names and characters... i know i'm a weird person, that's why i have the capacity to write and invent far out ideas which i find partly acceptable to everyone... ( i hope... ) gyahahahaha!!! anyway, so... if you want to check my fics out...

fan fictions : www.fanfiction.net
pen name : minisignal

fictions : www.fictionpress.net
pen name : minisignal1

reviews will really be appreciated... though my account in fanfiction.net is not accessible anymore because i lost the password and the e-mail account i used there has already been erased... hahahaha!!! but, in fictionpress.net, i am still working on my first fic there... so, reviews will totally be appreciated! :D and oh yeah, for my very first fic there, i would like to thank Mama Tep for the very wonderful title! i promise to live up the name by writing a good story for it! :D

sacrifices... destiny... and sound trips

hahahaha!!! that's a weird title! :D

sacrifices... what do i mean by that? in life, we have a lot of sacrifices to do... we have to sacrifice sleep to do some assignments or work... we need to sacrifice emotions for the sake of others... we need to sacrifice distance for the betterment (? im inventing words ata... ) of others... we need to sacrifice tv time for studying... we need to sacrifice chatting for work load... we need to sacrifice having fun to understand life... everyday, we sacrifice some stuff in order to do something better. we sacrifice not because we want to... but because we need to... we let go of old stuff to give way to the new... the question is... is it all worth it? i mean, why can't we just to both without sacrificing the other? why do we always have sadness when we first have happiness? when i was young and naive... i laughed when our teacher told us that life is a wheel... we have our up moments and later on we have our downs... it isn't always up... it isn't always down... i don't know why life is like that... is it because of wrong decisions? that we first enjoy something then later on regret doing it? why? because we are only humans and we are not perfect? wow... now, i'm not laughing at what our teacher said... i'm pondering at it... problems now come from different corners... they're everywhere! haunting me all the way from when i open my eyes til i go to sleep... i know i'm not the only one... everyone have problems and most probably my problems are just puny compared to others... but it's hard to pretend that you're always happy... that you are like worry-free but in fact, you are crying yourself to sleep every night... that you can't say anything to others because you are the one they are counting on to be strong and to be approachable. sure, i am cheerful... but it doesn't mean that i don't have any problems... let's face it... this is my blog... you will know me more here... i am weak... very weak in fact... i can't even handle a simple yes or no question without regretting what i decided on... i'm weak... but i don't want to show it to people... because i want that weakness to go away... i want it to just disappear... but sometimes when i just can't take it... i simply walk away... a friend once told me to laugh at my problems, turn my back on them and it will go... yes, i still do that... but it comes back haunting me... cause i know what i did is not right...

destiny... is there really such thing? i just read a forwarded text message saying that you can choose who to care for but you can't choose who to fall for because it's destiny. it made me think... is there really such thing as destiny? if there is, why don't we know what our destiny hold??? it's like saying that there is a future in front of us but we are not certain if it is really possible... what's destiny anyway?

sound trips... hahahah!!! ngayon lang ulit! gosh... all my mp3s are obsolete! even my cds here are really old... 1940's pa yung iba!!! anyway, i love the oldies... just finished listening to "love hurts" by bon jovi and now i'm listening to "could be wrong" by mymp... but why am i listening? it's because i don't feel like doing anything tonight... i want to do some relaxation even for a little while during the weekend after finishing a hard week... anyway, during my sound trip tonight, i found some songs...
> "thank you for loving me" by bon jovi -- perfect song!!! gosh!!! it almost brought tears...
> "i'll be there for you" by bon jovi -- sweet!!!
> "dream without you" by mymp -- touching...
> "the day you said goodbye" -- just heard it in the mall awhile ago while i was window shopping... i'm not even sure of the title!!! :)) it's nice...
> "forever" by damage -- the ultimate!!! gosh!!! it's my all time favorite!!! forever!!!
> a song that's something like "you love me but you don't know who i am..." i really like that line... i don't know why... but i just like the song... :D
> "stay the same" by joey mcintyre -- it's another perfect song... gosh... it made me cry like a dozen times already!!!
> "brown eyes" by destiny's child -- it's like... ewan ko kung bakit... just love the song!
> "untitled" by simple plan -- i'm in love with this song!!! and i mean really in love!!!
> "how close is heaven" by los lonely boys -- i like this song ever since bo bice sang it! :D
> "halaga" by parokya ni edgar -- i'm speechless... simply speechless...

still am sound tripping! :D

apologies...

ey, i haven't been able to update my blog for a long time and well... i'm really kinda busy and there's not much happening around anyway...

anyway, friday was the SME acquaintance party... to make things short... i got drunk and well, i almost didn't get to reach home if it was not for polar... so thanks polar! :D i really had a lot of fun despite being drunk...

next thing, i just got home from Mama Steph's debut... it was fun... matino... unique and well... just enjoyable... hope everyone found it the same... :D

Happy 18th birthday Mama Tep!!!

p.s. ... i feel very stupid...

a spooky experience...

ok, i'll start with it at once...

going to our graphone class from the sports complex, we need to pass by the gox gate or the agno gate... we chose the agno gate... while arvin and william were having their bags checked by the guards, i went a little bit ahead and fixed my things by the wall near the agno house... suddenly, a cold hand... a very cold hand was at my nape!!! omg!!! i was so surprised that i automatically turned my head back just to find that arvin and william were still by the guards and no one was near me. i looked around for familiar faces... but i found none... when the two guys were done with the guards, i asked them if they were the ones... who knows, maybe they were playing a trick on me or something... they told me that they were nowhere near me... neither was anybody else... they insisted that maybe it was just my imagination... but i know imagination, and that certainly wasn't one of them! one more evidence was their hands were warm... the hand that was just on me was ice cold! gosh... i didn't know what to do... then during our graphone class, i have forgotten it a little but then suddenly, the part where the hand held me was painfully distrupting... it was irritating!!! that time, i really am sure that that wasn't just any imagination... it was real... but i wonder... whose hand was that?

minumulto kaya ako?

80 more pages...

hahahah!!! reading our philhis right now... out of 87 pages, im only upto page 7!!! and the quiz on it will be tomorrow at 2:30 pm... wah!!! it's because it's written in Filipino, which makes it harder for me to comprehend and read it fast enough to finish the whole article by 9 o'clock this evening... anyway, that's the way the cookie crumbles...

so, what happened today? i'm inspired!!! at 5:00 am, i was looking at my cellphone clock and impatiently waiting for the right time to wake up, which is by the way at 6:00 during tuesdays and thursdays... anyway, it finally reached 6:00 and i dashed out of our room and cooked my breakfast. i was simply full of energy from the beginning of the day, wha more the rest?! anyway, when i entered dlsu, i was surprisingly awake and really smiling! i never thought that day would come that i would be so excited to enter dlsu and so excited to finish my first class! but today isn't an ordinary day... after my first class, i had a 3 and a half hour break with that break, i can go anywhere and do anything i want! :D with that time, i rode a jeepney (didn't get off at the right spot) and went to UST to meet up with some friends. :D anyway, returned to DLSU with jira riding a taxi and had my face painted with a very big smile! i was in for a 3-hour period of computational lab for algebra and i was still all smiles! hahahah!!! while in the lab, i was inspiringly solving everything in sight, sadly though, the only thing i perfected was the problem solving... as for the rest... i only got 1 or 2 answers correct... hahaha!!! but anyway, that's not really the point... i'm just happy to see our sj friends in ust and at the same time, sj friends in dlsu every morning! :D hahahah!!! it's getting to be fun... i'm actually having fun again!!! i love it!!! i'm addicted to having fun!!! it's a wonderful feeling that i always want to have...

but sadly, despite all that fun, i'm worried... omg... it's mixed emotions all over again...

animo la salle!

yey!!! d'way ta go!!! :D animo la salle!!!

the de la salle green archers defeated the ateneo blue eagles by a whooping 18-pt lead during the first uaap game in season 68! during the first quarter, the green archers shot 20 pts while the blue eagles shot... i don't know... i really didn't have the chance to watch the first quarter... i caught up at the near end of second quarter which the green archers took a 30-pt lead over the eagles! i'm sure that lasallians and lasallians alike were having a ball over the lead during the half time. anyway, during the third quarter, the blue eagles struggled to at least cut the lead of the archers to a mere 23 pts i think... i'm not really sure about the digits anymore because i really had so much fun watching it over the tv...

anyway, even over the television, you can feel the enthusiastic roar of the fans cheering for their teams... it really caught up with me and before you know it, i was jumping on top of the bed and was shouting some words that i can't remember... i was like possessed! but really, it wasn't really that much of great game... i'm comparing it to the greatest game i have watched in the nba, the one that lakers and kings took an over time because robert horry shot entered the basket at the last milli second! hahaha!!! which, by the way, i'm not supposed to do... anyway, there you go... i may not have attended the game in the coliseum... but i supported dlsu in front of the television... even though i tuned in late already! :D

animo la salle!!!

nice guys finish last

as i was munching down my dinner awhile ago, a thought entered my mind... i found myself thinking that coming in last is not so bad... i mean, when you come first in birth, you are older and there is that possibility that you will also be the first to go. when you come first in a relationship, there's always the possibility that you will also be the first to taste the sufferings you will undergo during a break up... being last is not that bad... i mean, you maybe last but at least you don't have to take a nosedive when you see that the thing you're about to enter is risky. you may be the last in birth, but you may also be the last to go. in a relationship, you maybe last at least you're the one! :D

but never the less, being in the middle doesn't seem to be a very big deal.. come on, we all know that...

but anyway, point is... it's better that you're the first and the last... no arguements there! :D

first note

had fun today, spent the afternoon at haze's house again, and planned to surprise tanya for a belated surprise party but was cancelled because they had no classes for this day...

here's the cake!

happy birthday tanya!

happy with the cookies?! :D

then there was the "first note" concert in u.p. ... thought it was gonna be a drag actually... but it turned out... pretty ok.. :D pics with my blockmates, fun!

nikki and karlo

john and kat

mike?!

arvin choi and me! (not necessarily just blockmates... fellow judenite!)

kat and polar (another one!)

rabby and chester

hahaha!!! those were taken in abelardo hall in u.p. diliman... :D

happy birthday tanya!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TANYA!

looks like i wasn't too exhausted to update today! yipee!!! anyway, this day has been... idle... and i mean it... i learned some things, inputted some things but more was drawn out from me... i think... hahaha!!!

anyway, like any other day, i'm emotionally and physically drained... ewan ko... dalas kong tulala ngayon... maybe missing the Judenites!!! especially our batch...

anyway, got nothing else to say... nothing really happened today... just had my first midterms! hooray!!! and trust me... i didn't study... wah!!! what will the results be?! i'm afraid to know...

first midterms...

hay, tomorrow i am finally gonna taste what midterms bring to Lasallians... it's my first midterms! it's in Filipino and Grapone... anyway, i'm writing this because i'm not sure if i am going to have a chance to update tomorrow evening. anyway, been cold these couple of days, and my head just can't stop bugging me!!! i hate it... i mean, since yesterday my head has been banging... maybe it's telling me or ordering me to take a rest or to stop it... i even find myself staring into space most of the time... i don't know why!!! right now i'm trying to do five things at the same time... updating, chatting, studying for the midterms, crochetting and texting... good thing i don't have to fix my things already... o and yeah, i have to make a notebook about what i've learned from our cwts class last sat... maybe on friday night... :D there i go again... slacking and procrastinating... i think i really should change... ... ... ... nah!!! hahaha!!! just kidding... little by little i know i'm gonna change... i don't want to be left behind by my friends! :D

anyway, got a lot of plans up ahead... just wanna take this chance to say,

Advance Happy Birthday Tanya!!!

bye bye

bye bye pc!!! wah!!! it broke down last night and as a consequence, i'm spending my break here in egi just to check my mail that hasn't been checked for two days! and i miss ym!!!

anyway... got really nothing to say...

the night life

last night was a lot of fun!!!
spent it in Rockwell Power Plant with Jay and the guys... caught a movie, ate dinner... stuff like that... just plain hanging out. anyway, it was different cause it was... i dunno... a different bunch of people might have affected it... hahaha!!! one more thing, i bought a 1/144 Saviour Gundam!!! and done assembling it with a very long 45 minutes!!! there's an explanation for that, the light wasn't sufficient and i was tired and sleepy! EXCUSES!!! gyahahaha!!! anyway, in Rockwell, i can say that we did some embarrassing stuff.... hahaha!!! won't tell!!! anyway, went home at an early 12:00 am... Tahong, thanks for the ride home! :D anyway, really had fun... thanks Jay! and thanks for the others too, like, Kenevvy, Mau, Eunice, Jally, Mark, Cathy, Hans, Osmond, Alden, Mix, Franz, Tahong, Adrian, Ahya Fred... an of course the rest!!! :D hahaha!!! anyway,

Advance Happy Birthday Jay!

**the helium filled balloon, ice cream, party hat and the ampitheater plan will be cancelled guys... :( takot ako kay Bola!!!

some confused quizzes

~*~Result nr 3~*~


Your power is: The ability to fly

Explanation: This powers speaks pretty
much for itself. Though you don't need wings
for this power,you can fly anyway. Some people
may consider it as telekinesis since they can
also fly, but you can't make material things
move like they can. This ability could be a
relaxing activity when you want to get away
from everyday troubles. Also it is good when
sneaking upon an enemy since it makes no sound.
When going over to the "dark side"
the power could be used to harrass and break
into building through windows etc.
You are quite similar to this power since you
like to have your head in the clouds.
Supernatural things amuse while ordinary life
does not. If your daydreaming has gotten a
little too far you might be zooned out all the
time, even when you are having a conversation.
Your desires and/or goals tend to be
unrealistic even if you know those would
probably never happen. Travelling is something
you would be interested in doing since seeing
exotic scenery fits with your fantasies of
escaping your plain life. You can also have
some creative ability (writer, playing an
instrumen etc) that interests you.
Negative aspects: The whole reason you
may be escaping life could be fear of being let
down by it. So if that would come to happen,
and an important dream had been crushed you
could get depressed.

What Power is Compatible With You?
brought to you by Quizilla



You need guidance.
You have become very confused in your life
right now and are unable to make decisions that
pleases you. You may resort to drastic measures
as harming yourself, but the situation doesn't
seem to get any better by whatever method you
are using for now. There is a pain inside
because of this and you feel helpless in your
life, thinking you will never find your way
back. But even though the path may seem dark
you still try to find yourself, which means
your inner battle is not over.


What Do You Need in Your Life? [dark pics]
brought to you by Quizilla



Your word is: Brooding. You are a true thinker and
often try to figure out the meaning of life,
why we are all here etc. You may not be so
social, and often think twice before acting but
those thoughts you have in your mind never stop
flowing in. Sometimes you can be so
concentrated you forget about other things that
you have to do. Don't change, this world needs
deep people.


What dark word represents you? (anime pics and 7 outcomes)
brought to you by Quizilla



You're a very mellow, care-free person. Your
exactly what calm, cool, and collected mean.
You never overreact or panic in a bad situation
and you always know what to do. Everyone goes
to you for advice because you never lose your
head so your very reliable. You tend to take
everything in stride, like in school your moto
is just sit back and relax not to say you dont
pay attention and work, but you dont overexert
yourself. Even though people come to you for
counciling(sp?) you can still be very quite,
your not good with making new friends, but your
extremely close to the ones you have. Remember
its ok to put your emotions out there even
though there is a chance they might get hurt.
Also in school sometimes its good to stress out
a little, just because you think you dont need
to study doesnt mean you should'nt, and also
try to push yourself more even though you might
be good where you are doesnt mean you can,t be
better. Check out my new short story.


Whats Your Personality(with PICS)
brought to you by Quizilla

busy body

been busy for the past couple of days... not to mention last wednesday (29 June 2005)!!! during u-break, i was rushing from one place to another because four of the orgs i've joined held their general assembly all at the same time!!! then we had two consecutive tests after that... anyway, i'm gonna ba a lot busier the following week because mid terms are here... gosh!!! my first mid terms!!!

anyway, still am busy today... just dropped by to update my blog! :D

haze

the mask?!

cake passing

bday cake!

a picture is worth a thousand words.... i don't need words to describe how much fun we had during this day... it's all in the pics!

once again,

Happy Birthday Haze!

velasco

hahaha!!!! super la ba magawa?!

anyway, right now i'm in velasco... typing another entry for my blog...

anyway, really miss the judenites! (i realized that i should not always be using "you guys" cause other people who are not in our batch or sj are also reading my entries...) the judenites cause it's not only the people from our batch that i miss but also those in the lower levels and the sj itself... hay... wow! i'm stuffed!!! ate at red ribbon a while ago... had choco mocha crunch! yummy!!! and spag! anyway, extra lang yan! hahaha!!! so, back to where i really had my mind wandering off... i miss sj... and i'm really glad that our e-groups are so active that everytime i open my mail, it flashes that i have at least 4 messages (kanina lang ako check pagbalik ko 4 messages na agad!) why? cause i get to check on what's happening in the lives of my friends... hahaha!!! really wish that all of us are still together up until now... we might say that we feel pukish when we see each other everyday, but it's not really true cause now that we don't see each other that much, and some really don't see us at all, we miss each other's company... o wow... i can't believe i'm about to cdry in public... *sniff sniff* i usually write blog entries at home at the same time crying my eyes out when i talk about how much i miss sj and my friends... but, i'm not going to cry... i will be strong... although some people saw me crying during the mass last saturday (i was really just over joyed that's all... seeing our batchmates having a gathering in sj again after graduation... ) anyway, i don't know what it is with sj and the friends i made during my stay there that is so different with the people i'm with now...

maybe it's the trust that i have earned from them... then sincerity and care of the judenites specially in our batch! you know, even though some of my friends are a bit younger than me, they set me straight when i have a problem, help me do the right thing, advices me a lot of things that i sometimes neglect and they take care of me... i'm touched! bira mo, not one but many friends take care of me! i don't know what i will do if there are no other judenites in our block... i sure am lucky that i see judenites here in dlsu everyday... but i assure you, i'm not all that lucky!

library

spending some quality time in the library of dlsu right now... darn dsl can't connect at home... anyway, even though the sat mass has ended for 4 days now, i still am getting the hang over as you call it... still missing sj... just imagine... when i'm in sj right now, i wouldn't be here in front of the computer surfing the net or blogging but i will be in... according to my fourth year sched... it's supposed to be... recess!!! wow!!! spending some time with friends digging into some snacks! i miss baking as well... here in dlsu, i don't want to bring cookies, muffins or any pastries i bake cause the people who really matters wouldn't be the ones who will have a taste of it!!! naka naman!!! no, my blockmates also matter syempre... it's just that, ok... i miss Porman having to taste what i made and everything... i mean, even the go nuts donuts!!! yummy!!! hahaha!!! does it show that i really am hungry right now?! u-break nga pala namin mamaya after ng trig noh?! anyway... hay, really missing sj... maya maya dapat kaharap na namin si gulay o!!! and then my mind will be drifting off outside sj... but right now, my mind is drifting TO sj!!! gosh! guys, this post effect is really distracting but i like it!!! anyway, really looking forward for the weekend to say:

"i'm back sj!"

and o yeah, just want to say

happy birthday to my dad
and to Arvin "fishda" Ang!

peace out!

sj forever!!!

sj forever talaga!!! i'm home!

i'm home!

been to sj for the first saturday mass... what can i say? i know what sj said to me... "welcome back!"

seeing everyone from sj woke me up from my dream that was college... seeing everyone, from my friends in the lower batches, faculty, administrators, and my fellow batchmates literally made me cry from over joy! seeing my batch mates walk in by groups during the mass was like seeing a priceless painting being given to me by the painter himself... that feeling, the emotion and something that was flowing in me was simply beyond words!!! it simply made me cry seeing everyone again... ok, maybe i was the only one who was crying there... i don't usually cry even when i am sad or in a bad mood... but this was an exception cause it wasn't any of those reason... the reason behind those tear was joy... so it's literally, tears of joy... :D seeing everyone, having a chance to hug and talk to my friends once again was like the ultimate happiness that i could have felt! even though some i see almost everyday in dlsu... it's still different seeing them again in sj... it really is... and the others? i really really missed them all!!! i mean, wah!!! i'm really touched that a lot came... hopefully next time, the whole batch will have time to come again... then i will have something to look for every week! now, i really want to get over the coming week as soon as possible for me to come back again in sj at the end of the week...

so, what can i say? "sj, i'm home!"
i really miss ya guys! hope we have an annual recollection so that i wouldn't miss all of you so much!!! kung pwede lang nga weekly e... :D

how much i miss sj...

here are some emails that i have sent...

16 june 2005
to bigay_puso

hey mrs. ramos! hahaha!!! mysh here... anyway, college life is nothing like high school life... religion is still almost the same... masses held and stuff... pero iba recollection sa sj e... parang sa sj masmafifeel mo that you're closer to God and yourself e... dun... la lang... masnatandaan ko lang sj... anyway, ms, pwede suggestion? pwede tayo magrecollection for our batch ulit? kahit one day lang pow... iba kung kasama mo mga friends na kilala na for 13 years e... masmakakaiyak ka... kung may time lang ms... siguro somewhere sa sem break or Christmas break? hahaha!!! hope i'm not asking too much... pero kung hindi kaya... ok lang din! :D

to sj_seniors2005_4a

ako punta sa sat!!! really missing sj and all of you guys... kanina sa saliksik iyak nga ako kasi natandaan ko retreat natin e... and syempre lahat ng pinaggagagawa natin sa class... tapos ano pa ba? oo nga pala!!! sino mga judenite na nag saliksik last time?! what the?! you left a bad impression sa faci noh!!! bira mo, sabi sulat sa palm part tapos sa palm yung judenite na yun nagsulat!!! wah!!! sira na name ng isang judenite!!! tapos impression niya pa pala sa atin is "mga may long attention span" kasi tulala raw sa teacher then maya maya sasabihin "sir, paulit naman" wah!!!

see?! my gosh!!! sorry sa mga e-groups... just wanted to post my messages here to prove how much i miss you guys!!!

i'm giving up

i know quitters never win...

but i really don't know what to do anymore... i'm giving up whether i like it or not... i don't know what to do or what to think anymore... it's like everything that i did never really meant anything... it's hard... i won't just stand or sit here and wait... it's useless... i must do something... i must move on... but...

i miss sj... that's all there is...

officially missing you

that's the subject of our thread message in our seniors e-group...

what does the title mean to me? it means a lot! a few parts of the song is used for the cheerdance competition by our batch last school year... what else? it simply expreses what most of us, i'm sure means... i miss SJ... badly! every minute of the day, all i can think of is... "what if i'm still in SJ?" that's just it, i left SJ already... at least in terms of studying... but i can never ever forget SJ... all those fun memories... heck! i think i have left a piece of me in every part and every corner of SJ... being seniors, we practically ruled the whole institution!!! hahaha!!! anyway, fun memories flash back to me everyday... from the minute i wake up... i remember i'm goin to "school" which is SJ... that's the only "school" i know and will ever know... i think...

the post dramatic effect of graduation and SJ stay really bugs me... i mean, it haunts me... all the way! not that it's a bad thing... i'm even thankful that i remember SJ... despite all those words before like "when i leave this H.E.L.L., im never going back!" and "i can't wait to leave this place!", i never thought that i would miss it this much!!! hey! fellow judenites! let's attend the first saturday mass!!! please?! i miss all of you too... that's one of the reason's why i really miss SJ... because of you guys! i miss seeing your faces on the corridor or the auditorium... i miss C.A.T.! i miss the pumps, the drops... the rifle throwing!!! i know that every thursday i curse C.A.T. because it deprives us from having our rest day... and sometimes even lessens our chinese study period... but heck! i miss it! our simulation in T.H.E.! gosh!!! i'm walking down memory lane again... i miss having study groups on the fifth floor or the third floor dining hall every morning! i miss the Pasig river view, which can be really comforting when you're really down... i miss staying at Zashi's or trailers every dismissal!!! talking about chocolates, playing cards, looking at the "magical" friends... and distracting them!!! hahaha!!! i miss all those!!!

you can never have too much of a good thing... then why is it that all good things must come to an end?

singing in the rain

hahaha!!! looks like i've got nothing better to do!!! anyway, the reason behind all these is because i really love the rain... and looks like the rain really washes... cleanses the earth... i love the rain! :D

have fun with...

photography!!!





these were taken during the rain awhile ago... la lang... anyways, this day has been fun!!! wont tell the details... next time nalang... :D

argh!!!

ok... haven't been blogging... hahaha!!! anyway, since the a.i. thing, i have been what?! very busy with school work and everything... trying to balance studies and gimiks... but right now, i think i'll lay off a little from the gimiks and try to concentrate on my studies more... anyway, even blogging!!!

ok, don't really have much to say... just this, a while ago in dlsu, a lot of our batchmates from sj wore our batch shirts!!! hahaha!!! la langs... it's nice to see a lot of judenites wearing our batch shirts even though i know for some it will seem weird and super baduy... i was really happy to see us wearing our batch shirts... makes me think of how things were in sj... nice nga e... i mean, we didn't care what others think of us... we're just proud! :D anyway, im really missing sj!!! and promise, i will return... well, visit actually and next time, i promise i would do something for sj in the future... like what batch 78 (?) did for sj...

enough of that... it's really frustrating you know... having to buy a lot of things for our grapone class... having to spend 3 hours straight of algeb!!! wow!!! i'm surprise that i can even bear that!!! anyway, really got no choice... i made this choice and hopefully i will finish this course even though shifting courses and even transferring schools have entered my mind for like a thousand times or even millions of times already!!! wah!!! i just wish that i will have someone to be with me all through it like i did during my stay in sj...

well, nothing more to say... 0922-5745051... sun people! add me up! :D but my globe is still active... and my sun is also active... in short, kahit saan sa dalawa ok lang! :D