~ * classic me * ~

Day 29 - A picture that can always make you smile.

2011-09-02T06:51:00.000-07:00

It doesn't only make me smile, it makes me blush as well… teehee!

Day 27 - A picture of yourself and a family member.

2011-08-31T06:47:00.000-07:00

Here's a picture of me with my most favorite baby cousin, Scott, from way, way back…

Day 26 - A picture of something that means a lot to you.

2011-08-30T06:44:00.001-07:00

My glasses… Sure, I don't usually wear them and I probably take them for granted… but they mean a lot to me cause I can't read or drive in the dark without them! Besides, these are the glasses I chose all on my own! :)

Day 25 - A picture of someone you could never imagine your life without.

2011-08-29T06:42:00.000-07:00

My laptop! I simply can't imagine how I lived before I had it… I love you, baby! <3

Day 24 - A picture of something you wish you could change.

2011-08-28T17:14:00.000-07:00

I just hate animal abuse. I wish people would just stop and value the animals' lives.

Day 23 - A picture of your favorite book.

2011-08-27T17:11:00.000-07:00

It's just so sweet, romantic and so sad… I love it.

Day 22 - A picture that makes you laugh.

2011-08-26T17:03:00.000-07:00

"Keep it in the family." So adorable!!!

Day 21- A picture of your second family.

2011-08-25T16:52:00.000-07:00

Day 20 - A picture of somewhere you'd love to travel.

2011-08-24T21:52:00.001-07:00

London! The beautiful city of London.

Day 19 - A picture of a person you'd love to hang out with for a day.

2011-08-24T04:25:00.000-07:00

Who else but Barney Stinson?!

Day 18 - A picture of your day.

2011-08-23T04:30:00.000-07:00

Well, technically, it's another night of mine. 2nd post celebration of my birthday for the year! Happy Lemon!!!

Day 17 - A picture of something that has made a huge impact on your life

2011-08-22T08:03:00.000-07:00

Yoga! Since attending classes of yoga in the gym, I learned how to stretch and to cure certain pains on my body. Also, it has taught me to breathe and stay calm during my most panicky moments. I heart yoga!

Day 16 - A picture of someone who inspires you.

2011-08-21T06:03:00.000-07:00

Besides being a great actor, Ian Somerhalder is everything else that portrays a nearly perfect human being! Don't let his model past fool you, he is one smart cookie who loves to read, appreciates good music, plays soccer, knows how to cook and cares about the environment and animals more than anybody else! Sure, he's not a vegetarian but you don't have to be one to be an animal lover! He even has his own foundation set up just a few months back, the ISF or Ian Somerhalder Foundation, check it out! www.isfoundation.com! So, besides all that, fall in love in those smoldering eyes of his for more inspiration! Need I say more?

Day 15 - A picture of something you are excited about.

2011-08-20T16:08:00.000-07:00

My one year master's degree in Shanghai! Leaving on October already! :)

Day 14 - A picture of what scares you.

2011-08-19T07:48:00.000-07:00

Injections! My greatest fear... and I'm getting my shots tomorrow! sheesh!

Day 13 - A picture of the person you do the most messed up things with.

2011-08-18T07:11:00.000-07:00

I am a loner at times and I am usually with the same group of people when I go out. But the most messed up things that I did in my life was, and still is, with this group of people! The short lived OJT stint in Unilever and our almost non-existent get-togethers are the most messed up things that I have done!

Love these guys!

Clockwise from top left : Piyush, Mike, Glenn, Aiko, Me, Ces and Ja.

Day 12 - A picture of something you love.

2011-08-17T08:41:00.001-07:00

Mozy, my little pomeranian… <3

Day 11 - A picture of something you want to do before you die.

2011-08-16T04:55:00.000-07:00

I simply want to travel the world. Get to know the different culture, lifestyle and languages of people, get to see all the sights that I now can only see on the TV, travel across continents, have a taste of their food and go to every amusement park in the world and ride all their rides!!!

Day 10 - A picture of your favorite band/ artist.

2011-08-15T08:47:00.000-07:00

Can't beat the classics! (well, classic for me.) Here's Nirvana!

Day 09 - A picture of the person who has gotten you through the most.

2011-08-14T06:35:00.001-07:00

No doubt, my aunt! The one wearing blue beside me. She's the mum that I'm supposed to have.

Day 08 - A picture of something you wish you were better at.

2011-08-13T06:31:00.000-07:00

Yep, wall climbing. I was introduced to this last January by my cousin and I just enjoy it. I sure wish there was somewhere nearer for me to wall climb.

Day 07 - A picture of your most treasured item.

2011-08-12T06:22:00.000-07:00

Ok, let me cheat on this one. My most treasured item is the necklace and pendant that I have on. You see that little cross pendant there? I don't know why but I had it since I was in grade 5 and it was given to me by my Mum and well, I haven't removed it ever since (except for the pendant since I change it sometimes). Another is my dog, Mozy and his M pendant collar. He gets aggressive whenever someone tries to remove his collar.

Day 06 - A picture of you when you were little.

2011-08-11T06:19:00.000-07:00

When you say little, you weren't kidding! This is a picture of me taken by my dad in the hospital on May 26, 1987. I was born on May 25, 1987 so hey, I was little :)

Day 05 - A picture of your favorite memory of the year.

2011-08-10T06:15:00.000-07:00

Despite the many travels, adventures and first times this year, the most that stuck with me was the moment I received this at work. Surely, it was the most memorable moment for me this year.

Day 4 : A picture of your night

2011-08-09T06:09:00.000-07:00

This was taken on May 28, 2011 at Manila Pavillion. This was my night simply because it's my post birthday celebration for the year with my friends!

Day 03 - A picture of the cast from your favorite show.

2011-08-08T17:37:00.000-07:00

The Vampire Diaries, the most beautiful cast on television for me. Besides the fast paced drama, all the killings and bloodshed happening, I enjoy the soundtrack as well.

Oh, they also dominated Sci-Fi category in the TCA's 2011! Go TVD! :)

Day 02 - A picture of you and the person you have been close with for the longest.

2011-08-08T06:24:00.001-07:00

From left : Ken, Tep, (me) and Jira.

I've known Jira for as long as forever, Tep since elementary and Ken since high school. Simply the best set of friends I (not anyone) could have! :)

Day 01 - A picture of yourself with sixteen facts.

2011-08-07T04:56:00.001-07:00

1. I'm a girl who is full of surprises.

2. I often smile even if I'm hurt.

3. I don't forgive and forget.

4. I have a very low self esteem.

5. I have trust issues.

6. I'm a workaholic and a semi-perfectionist.

7. I love being in control.

8. I can sometimes be a loner.

9. I love listening to DJ Mo Twister and would die for his autograph and a picture.

10. I care for the environment, in my own little way.

11. Amusement parks are my favorite place to visit.

12. I love the thrill I get from white water rafting and wall climbing.

13. I would love to meet Ian Somerhalder before I die, get a peck on the cheek or my hand, a picture and an autograph.

14. I enjoy shopping.

15. I have a slight problem with heights.

16. I'm not waiting for a prince charming to arrive, I'm waiting for my knight in shining armor to defend and take care of me.

30 day photo challenge

2011-08-07T04:55:00.000-07:00

Just for fun, will be doing the 30 day photo challenge.

Day 01 - A picture of yourself with sixteen facts.
Day 02 - A picture of you and the person you have been close with for the longest.
Day 03 - A picture of the cast from your favorite show.
Day 04 - A picture of your night.
Day 05 - A picture of your favorite memory of the year.
Day 06 - A picture ofyou when you were little.
Day 07 - A picture of your most treasured item.
Day 08 - A picture of something you wish you were better at.
Day 09 - A picture of the person who has gotten you through the most.
Day 10 - A picture of your favorite band/ artist.
Day 11 - A picture of something you want to do before you die.
Day 12 - A picture of something you love.
Day 13 - A picture of the person you do the most messed up things with.
Day 14 - A picture of what scares you.
Day 15 - A picture of something you are excited about.
Day 16 - A picture of someone who inspires you.
Day 17 - A picture of something that has made a huge impact on your life.
Day 18 - A picture of your day.
Day 19 - A picture of a person you'd love to hang out with for a day.
Day 20 - A picture of somewhere you'd love to travel.
Day 21- A picture of your second family.
Day 22 - A picture that makes you laugh.
Day 23 - A picture of your favorite book.
Day 24 - A picture of something you wish you could change.
Day 25 - A picture of someone you could never imagine your life without.
Day 26 - A picture of something that means a lot to you.
Day 27 - A picture of yourself and a family member.
Day 28 - A picture of something you're afraid of.
Day 29 - A picture that can always make you smile.
Day 30 - A picture of someone you miss.

x-x-x

2011-08-06T09:58:00.000-07:00

Denial, Acceptance, Coping Up and Moving on. I know, I know… what?! But that's the topic I have been talking about the whole day, so let's just go on with it.

1. Breaking up is a normal occurrence.

2. Nothing in life is perfect, things don't always go our way.

3. People move on.

4. Things change. and

5. You have have to accept all these in order to move on yourself.

I know, I'm probably the worst person to "preach" about this. I'm not even the slightest romantic or sweet person when it comes to relationships and I'm positively not an expert at moving on. (read previous entries) But I learn from the past, I learn from my mistakes and the mistakes of others. So I kinda know how things go.

Being friends with your ex is crap and there is no such thing as closure! Being civil is one thing, being back to what you had before is another thing. When you look for closure or an explanation on why things happened, it just means you're still not over it. You're still clinging on to what is gone and you're still hoping for something to return or happen. Well, sad truth, when you want to move on, you simply have to let go. You can't go around stalking your ex, talking to his or her new partner about things… you simply can't. What do you care about them? You don't have the right to tell them to be or not to be together. Your ex doesn't have to have your permission to get into another relationship cause YOU DON'T OWN THEM!!! You just have to accept the fact that the person has moved on from you and has found another human being who can make them happy or forget about you. Yes, rebounds count.

Now, how do you cope with things? Whether it be the cliche "find someone new", enjoy your friends' company, see a shrink or simply be alone, different people have different ways of coping with sadness or worst, depression. I can't say anything much about this cause you just have to know yourself in order to know how you cope up with things.

After much thought on the topic, move on. Simply return to being normal, enjoying things and just realize that you, and your happiness, is more important than ANY human being.

a simple message

2011-08-02T19:55:00.000-07:00

Ever received a mail, open it and find yourself smiling all by yourself? Ever received a package, without any sender on it but once you open it you know who sent it?

These past few days, I have been exchanging e-mails with a friend of mine. I don't know if it's because he doesn't have anyone else to talk to, which is highly impossible, or I'm just persistent and he think it's rude not to reply to my mails. Not that I'm sending tons of e-mail! I just send one and our thread goes on and on. I find myself checking my e-mail more often, looking for that certain name to appear on my screen and reading the reply even if it's just a simple haha. Yes, you probably thought right, I like this guy that's why I can't stop the communication nor the smiling that's evident on my face everytime I receive a reply from him.

I don't assume, at all. but why is there a little part at the back of my head telling me otherwise?

moving on

2011-07-26T07:47:00.000-07:00

It's been almost a year since my last post here! I can't believe it's that long since I felt so alone and so, well, defeated.

Work's challenging and great, my student visa is on it's way, I'm gonna be paying my tuition for my master's degree in the coming weeks, my accommodations are well on it's way as well and I will be leaving for Shanghai for a year in a few months… so, what's wrong? I have everything I need and probably more than what I deserve… I have travelled to a lot of places in the past 6 months alone (Cagayan de Oro, Camiguin, Cebu, Hong Kong, Boracay, Coron, Thailand and Singapore) with more than enough money to spend… I have my almost weekly movie and dinner dates with my friend, which I truly enjoy… So what else do I search for?

A lot of people must think, wow, this is one selfish person! Well……… I still feel like I'm not moving. I still feel like I haven't accomplished ANYTHING at all! I still live in the same house, I still have an almost empty bank account, I still depend on people for financial support and I still haven't lost weight! Sure, I might have grown in some ways… I now know how to handle my emotions (most of the time) through meditation, I know how to prioritize things, and I don't let small things bother me as much. BUT still, I'm still the same me I was years ago!

I feel like a download status bar at 1% with an indeterminable estimated time of completion, a countdown timer on a time bomb that has been deactivated at the last second or a clock ticking back and forth about to run out of battery. I'm going nowhere.

A sudden poke in my brain made me realize that next year, I'm going to be in my mid-twenties! Well, I suppose that I am in my mid-20's now… and still, look at me! I'm still stuck here, in this life, with nothing and nowhere to go. I feel so unaccomplished, so defeated and just so down. I think it's time to go to a shrink!

letter

2010-08-15T05:31:00.000-07:00

This past week has been all about letters… an article of a 19-year old girl writing a letter to her future love and a friend who sent me a letter with all her frustrations and confusions in it. I also saw a box full of letters from my younger years from all my friends and reminisced on them for quite awhile. Nowadays, most letters are type written, e-mailed, of short messages can be sent through a test message, tweet or a simple wall post on facebook. my letters (like the previous post) is more on a blog post…

Hey you,

Remember those times when I just go to you and talk about anything under the sun? How I would talk about my likes and dislikes, and ask you about yours? How you would ask what kind of girl am I when I go out on dates or how I treat guys then you would exclaim "ikaw nalang ligawan ko!"? Those times when you text me and ask me where I am, what am I doing, who I'm with and tease me about having such an extravagant lifestyle? Those times when you tell me to have a safe trip when going home late from a night out with my friends? When you ask me to watch you play your sport? When we spend time laughing or teasing each other and feel like we were the only two people in the room when in fact, the room is full of people? or that one time when you told me I was cute, without me even trying to………

Because those were the times that I always go back to… the times where I wish to be in every single day… back to the time before all these issues came out and things became awkward between us.

I know, I am not someone you would ever like, or take a second look at for that matter, and I tried to forget you and move on. But how could I? Just when I start not to think about you, you come back. Just when I start to hate you, you do something so sweet that even I couldn't resist smiling and just forgiving you? Just when I start not to care, you just sweep me off my feet again?

Hey you, I really don't know when I started to like you. All those "remember the time when" stuff were nothing to me when they were happening… nothing seemed important. Even though a lot of people were telling me that they could see through me and could tell that something was these, I didn't know, honestly.

Remember that little thing I gave you and told you not to tell anyone about it? It was when I saw it and thought about you that I realize there was really something.

So, hey you, I hope you forgive me.

Always but not forever,

oh, I almost forgot, when you are at loss of words with me, just give me a :)

2010-07-20T07:53:00.000-07:00

Hey Dear,

I'm doing fine thank you very much… Since you've left, I've been spending more time at home, more time resting and more time stressing out on all the adult responsibilities that I should have been taking care of even when you were still here…

All my life, I have been an adult. You know this, you were the one who gave me the heaviest responsibility of all, to take care of my brother. Yes, I still remember this. And ever since I entered my Alma Mater, this is all that has been enforced on me. Now that my brother is not even on my side, this is still a continuous responsibility that I have to bear. This is inescapable already, it's like it's my fate and the reason I was born.

But hey, I don't mind it that much since this sole responsibility showed me how to be independent. Along with, of course, the days at the office where I had to do all the things that everyone else is doing with equal capabilities even though they are much much older than me, and all the expectations that everyone has of me ever since I was a child. These expectations are really not going away, in fact, they've accumulated over the years. Sure, they are pressuring me and are haunting me in every step of the way, but once I have achieve one of them, I feel very much proud of myself.

Hey dear, I never realized that I would miss you this much… as in every waking moment and every minute I spend outside my room, every time that I am walking out of the main door, and every time I come back home. You have been a big part of my life and have been a big influence on me. I will surely save you a special place on all the important events that will come in my life in the future.

Thanks dear…

conservatism

2010-07-09T06:01:00.000-07:00

hey, I need to vent out somewhere since I stopped tweeting… :))

Anyway, I read a blog of a friend of mine reminiscing about high school (it was an old entry… about 3 years ago I think) anyway, it kinda got me thinking… no, not about what I did and what happened during those years, but how much I've changed since then…

then : I never go out of the house and spend time in movies and restaurants with friends

now : Well, let's just say that I am going back to the old times for various reasons… :)

then : I would go straight home after school, watch TV, eat dinner then sleep early and wake up early

now : I loll around at the mall, go spend time in the gym before I go home… earliest would be at around six pm… watch TV, go online, spend way too much time on Facebook, eat dinner, watch more TV and sleep super late… as in dawn kinda late and wake up late!

then : I would never never never be late for anything. Even during my first few years in college

now : I am always late at appointments, late in going to school… well, you get the picture

then : I would never think of going anywhere for over nights if it wasn't school related

now : I want to go away every weekend!!!

then : I never travel alone

now : I'm often alone… haha, it's a choice. :)

then : I never shop for clothes and I always wear big ones

now : I can't seem to stop shopping… O_O

a review : Can't Be Tamed by Miley Cyrus

2010-07-09T05:41:00.000-07:00

This is my very first review here of anything and it's of Miley Cyrus' latest album… why?

Here's why!!!

When I first heard Can't Be Tamed from E! News, I thought, "hey, Miley's finally growing up". With the video, the peacock costume and everything… I thought, that she's actually breaking from her squeaky clean Disney princess image… yes, I did use the words "Disney princess" on Miley…

Today, I had the chance to listen to the whole album. Guess what!? DISAPPOINTED! Why? For a lot of people, her Can't Be Tamed is so controversial, for me, it's a new sound from her… a change, a drastic one at that and I came to like her music… she's grown out of the country bumpkin type or the sterotypical pop type kinda girl… BUT! her whole album is still the same!!!

Can't Be Tamed is the only song that's different!!! really now… I feel like the song did not fit in with the other songs… She still sounds like a Disney girl… kinda like Demi Lovato… but Demi's vocals are way better because Miley still has that nasally sound… I am not a hater… it's just that her album is… ugh… disappointed me… :(

Oh, and her album is not the good kinda Disney… I prefer Sterling Knight's StarStruck performances and songs over her album!! O_O

a little too old

2010-06-27T06:07:00.000-07:00

Yes, I am a little too old to be watching cartoons and be a big big big fan of Disney. But I am not ashamed to shout it to the world (or at least post it in this blog that hardly anybody if there are still some that visit this) and to my twitter account that I love them!

Why? Is there something wrong with a twenty *bleep* year old girl who loves to enjoy what kids enjoy? No, the country I live in is a democratic country and I can do whatever I want… or so I believe. Nah, kidding. But hey, I know I have a naive attitude, a very playful high spirited characteristic and a seriously childish brain and heart but that's who I am and that's how I want to stay.

This is something good actually. A lot of people my age or younger in fact loves cursing. As in in every statement they utter, there's a curse word in it… Not mine :) I am proud, very proud in fact that I have a clean mouth. I enjoy the simpler things in life… although a lot of people around me might disagree because I love branded things… but the simplest gesture like replying to my message can paint a big smile on my face. The simplest gift, like a greeting, on special occasions can make me the happiest person at that specific moment…

Yeah, I know, I am like a child. Well, hey, I am still a child and I am proud to say that I don't grow up just yet :)

2010-06-12T23:31:00.000-07:00

2010-05-27T09:34:00.000-07:00

You know the feeling when you are suddenly empty and you feel like you need to make a change in what you're doing and in who you are? Well, I do. And this isn't just happening for the first time, this has happened to me tons of times already.

I sometimes just suddenly want to cut my hair in the wildest way that I could think of. Like about more than a year ago, after wearing my hair in its layered form for the longest time (nine years) I suddenly decided to put full bangs. Sure, it wasn't extreme. But it didn't stop there. I cut my hair short after wearing it long for nine years… and I kept on cutting it the moment it grew longer to a certain length. I don't know why but cutting my hair felt like I was changing a big part of me.

Then after swearing off coloring my hair for five years, last March, I got it dyed in a supposedly bright red shade. Well, it turned out like a brownish shade. I simply wanted to change something about myself.

And now it's the nails and my eyes… I want black polished nails and black eye shadow. I know, trashy right? haha, and I'm just waiting for my hair to grow just a bit more then have it bleached then dyed in a bright red color. It might not be me, but hey, I'll get used to how I will look as time passes.

Clothes too make a big big difference. I often change my style from time to time, mood to mood and well, color preference. It's like I have this color for the season or something. I'm over the red and black phase in my clothes. I'm not in my white and purple stage.

Hats! are very very important to me. I used to have this baseball cap craze, then the fisherman's hat, then the berets… now I'm with the fedoras, the panamas and the ivy caps!!!

Change… the only constant thing in life…

2010-05-04T09:56:00.000-07:00

argh! how come after 10 years of feeling giddy about May 4, this year it's gone and changed into plain frustration?!??!?!

how come I cannot just talk to you?!??!!

2010-04-22T23:38:00.000-07:00

I want to take something up, a new hobby, a maybe new found passion... just to get my mind straight really.

So I was thinking of archery. How does that sound? We tried it out yesterday at the shooting range at MOA and with 3 arrows to shoot (and I definitely suck at it) I enjoyed it! I would love to have my own bow and arrow and just spend hours and hours at a shooting range. But the problem is, the bow itself is expensive enough and the arrows costs even more! I think...

So, anyone out there who knows somewhere I could buy some of the good stuff but cheaper? I am a beginner and I suck at it... haha, maybe toys perhaps? :P

2010-04-22T06:41:00.000-07:00

A topic while having dinner with friends awhile ago amused me and I want to talk about it here because I deeply agree with it and have some personal say on it.

When a guy reaches thirty, he wouldn't have to be the one to chase and have a hard time to get a girl because girls would be the ones who would chase after him.

Of course, this does not apply to all but for me, it is true. A girl might not notice a guy when he's young but when the guy reaches 30, she might wish that she should have paid more attention to him. Why so? Because a guy gains a brain at 30 years old and above, a guy is more successful (if he is) at this age, more stable and more likely to be serious about settling down (at long last ladies). He might even become more mature.

With these being said, for the guys, a girl is more likely to settle down with a 30 years old or more guy. Why? Because guys grows more handsome as they grow older IF they are at the said age. Haha, I know, it's quite farfetched and it's only among the chosen few. But think of it this way, when you already have that tummy (after being fit your whole life) and a girl still accepted to settle down with you, you might have her for keeps already. right right? :)

Another personal thing I shared awhile ago was when asked "what about the muscles on a guy?" Nah, doesn't matter. A guy needs not to be all muscles to be able to attract a woman. In fact, a woman chooses someone who looks like he could be a great provider and a more caring and sensitive man, according to studies, when they want to settle down. This is because they want someone sensitive and loving to take care of their offsprings instead of the "bad boy". For me, I would prefer a leaner or a bit chubbier guy so that he is huggable instead of someone full of muscles and as stiff as a washboard…

I know a lot of people would definitely disagree with me on these points, but hey, this is me :)

five years

2010-04-20T20:16:00.000-07:00

Lately, I have been not been getting people a lot. Correction, just one. It's like I'm being played and I've been foolishly letting myself be played. Why is that? Am I back to my old hopeless romantic self? It's the first time in five years that I have been like this, letting a person sway me so easily. I know it's pathetic.

Experts say that significant changes in a person's life can been seen in every seven years of their lives (age 7, 14, 21…) But so far, for me, I have been finding myself changing emotionally every five years… why is that?

When going back to the very first person I like, it took me five years to get over him. Same goes with the second one. And now, it's been five years since I have let go and here I find myself putting the same, if not more, feelings into another person. So I guess another five years will be wasted?

"He's the time taken up but it's never enough and he's all I need to fall into…"

2010-04-19T06:05:00.001-07:00

Now I know that you really don't care about me. Despite what others may say or how I interpret you, you really don't care about me at all, not even as a friend.

Every action you've shown me is nothing… so, thanks for the memories…

top 10 for 2009

2009-12-28T08:11:00.000-08:00

been inspired by tep to make this list...

top 10 hottest guys (for me) for year 2009 :

1. Ian Somerhalder - nothing hotter than a very very naughty but very in love vampire! Ian's character, Damon, in The Vampire Diaries is someone who you can both hate and love at the same time.

2. Alexander Skarsgard - Scandinavian guy who captured my eye playing, what else, a vampire in True Blood

3. Carlos Bocanegra - hot guy with a hot bod... one word, soccer! voted as one of E!'s sexiest sports men.

4. Ryan Reynolds

5. Bradley James

6. Andy Roddick

7. David Boreanaz

8. Ed Westwick

9. Taylor Kitsch

10. Chris Daughtry

Bradley Cooper

dumbfounded

2009-07-01T05:54:00.000-07:00

I'm just too depressed right now... to even think about what I'm really feeling...

Most people say that to forget someone, you need another person into your life... but that's not always true... for me it wasn't true this time around...

Pathetic... need a drink...

life

2008-11-09T09:42:00.000-08:00

I really don't feel like I have a life right now. Specially since my life just revolves around school stuff right now. I really don't have the chance to just go out and have fun. When I do go out, it always seem to be related to school stuff in one way or another. No drinks, no movies, no games... just medicals, interviews and lots and lots of logic tests! (which i am very proud to say that i got a 93% and a 95%!!!) Seems na ngayon ko lang natitikman ang pagiging engineering student ko!!!

It's not that I don't like what's happening. I mean, I really enjoy this stuff. At least most of what I'm doing will be very beneficial to me in the future. And this is really what I'm so looking forward to... to have a job and to grow up. Leave the school stuff and go on to the mastery of the career path that I have chosen. And I am really not regretting a single moment of it! Well, except for hte CBC test during my medical because I really really hate injections and well, my blood! haha :)

sick and tired

2008-06-12T20:08:00.000-07:00

love is not synonymous to pain, is it? like is not synonymous to rejection either... relationship is not synonymous to enemies and commitment is not synonymous to broken promises...

am i not right? but sometimes, it feels like everything above is synonymous to each other... to love is to inflict pain on oneself, to like is to throw oneself to rejection and maybe later on despair and regret, to be in a relationship is to break the friendship and to commit oneself is to break all promises made...

cooling off and talk are just nice words to cover up break up and it's just not there anymore, are they? why do we people always want to hurt ourselves by liking someone, by loving someone and giving oneself to someone to take care of? are we really socially dependent or do we just like others to think highly of us because we have someone and others don't?

one thing's for sure, people are not socially dependent. and the term independent is not given the right meaning. the term independent for me is to have no one around even when you need them. to be socially independent is to be a man stranded on a deserted island. but still he is not independent because he depends on nature to give him food, shelter and clothing. but no one can survive alone... right?

that's why i think that even the smartest person who is bounded to someone, whether his parents, his friends, colleagues or someone they love, are stupid. because being dependent means giving oneself troubles, problems and pain which they will encounter over and over again... i am stupid... forgive me.

cheater

2008-06-05T20:28:00.000-07:00

i really miss this blog of mine... i remember the days when i post an entry almost every day or sometimes twice a day... it's like my best friend wherein i post every single one of my thoughts without thinking that someone might read it because for me, this is my paradise... but now, i don't think anyone even remembers this blog... but still, i post my inner thoughts in it, things that i like, things that are important to me and things that i feel guilty about... even though i also started blogging in my multiply site...

so, today's entry isn't anything about the past... it isn't anything about what i have written before... this is a new thing... a new one...

this was supposed to be posted long ago, i think 2 weeks ago... it's really been eating me. this is the question : is it consider cheating when you had lunch with another person while you are in a relationship? or is it the thing 'what he doesn't know won't hurt him' kind? and is it considered to be cheating when it is with an 'almost' much younger but more mature cousin? and this cousin is also in a relationship... but the lunch is nothing like any ordinary lunch out with anyone... it kinda turned out to be a... date?...

*SIGH*

past

2008-05-13T22:49:00.000-07:00

i wonder if anyone still visits this blog...

anyway, i had this dream the other night, 11 May 2008. Actually, i don't really understand why i had this dream at all but anyway, i want too post it here.

We were in an electronics class, at first, i was with my usual college laboratory class with all my college classmates. The teacher asked us to plant a seed instead of making our project. He asked us to look for a flowering plant that can be found within the books that surrounded us and ask the technician for the seed. The first one that I planted was surrounded by strawberries so i changed the soil. the next one was too flooded but i didn't care and left the seed to grow. the technician then asked me to find a book in the library but someone found it before me. when i returned to the lab, i saw maxi painting something and that he spilled ferric chloride on the floor. i approached him to help him clean it up but saw his painting. he was painting a scene with something to put in between... i really didn't understand. then someone kicked me hard, a person, let's call him 'past', was sitting beside maxi with a girl that i knew. i told him to stop it since i wasn't minding him at all. then he said he wanted to talk to me so we went outside to talk. before he even said a word, i woke up...

its really strange why he was in my dream again after more than a year now...

happy new year

2008-01-09T08:46:00.000-08:00

happy new year! well, its not really the start of the new year but it's just now that I had the time to update my blog or do anything at all.

Anyway, spent my Christmas vacation in Cagayan de Oro. During the first week, we went to different places. we went to the caves, to Bukidnon, to Duka bay and lastly we went rafting! It was fun, fun and fun! after my uncle and my aunt went back home, i spent the remaining 1 week helping out my aunt with the business. each night that i got home, i really, really need a bath! and that means 2 times with the soap just to get the smell or stench out. nag amuy sibuyas, bawang, banana blossom, chlorine, tawas and paminta ako!!! wah! but it was fun! :D

of course, my stay there didn't have to be boring even though there is no time to use the computer, surf the net or watch tv. At night, before i go to bed, i have a book with me. Anyway, it didn't have to be boring because i have this series of shopping sprees. :D i had only 2 actually. :D

So when i went there, i only brought a duffel bag or an over night bag for my clothes. but when i went back here last jan 5, my clothes were a duffel bag and a mandarin orange box! haha :P And from my usual 2 phones, i brought home 3! hehe, so it was a Happy Christmas and a happy new year! :D

To share the experience with you, please go to my multiply for my pictures! :D thanks!

and now, its back to school and reading manga :P

the more I don't understand

2007-12-18T07:13:00.000-08:00

Now that Christmas break is about to start (because today is dooms day number uncountable), I now have enough time to watch my series, shop and read manga. I watched Da Capo, although I'm not yet done with it.

And there's something I can't understand again. Not that I have understood it already, but it just came back to haunt my thoughts.

Why is it that most men are insensitive about women's feelings or why do they turn a blind eye towards it so that the gals "won't get hurt"? In Da Capo, this girl Kotori did everything for the main guy because she likes him. Not that she wants something in return, but she did all that because she loves him and she wants him to be safe and healthy. Since he was an irresponsible guy, she passes by his house to cook him food, clean his house, do his laundry etc. But then, when this guy's "sister" (orphaned by his family but not really blood related and has become his lover) returned from college, he wents back chasing this girl. Now, Kotori, the girl who was by his side while his sister was away, is now being shunned. Not in the sense of a cold shoulder, but in the sense that she wasn't that much entertained already by the guy. She understood. But because she loves the guy, she can't help but to get hurt. She sacrifices stuff, like fun, for her not to cause any problems for the guy. She says that seeing him happy makes him happy.

Now, the thing I don't really understand is that why do guys, even though they know that the girl likes them already, still persist on making her his "friend". Do they think that it is the best way in order not to hurt the girls? Or sometimes, they ignore them. Do they think that not confronting the problem is the best way to solve things? Why don't they just say it directly and let the girl decide what she wants to do with the situation?

Hay... nevermind this post. :P

boo!

2007-09-03T20:10:00.000-07:00

BOO!

i guess i'm back... for now anyway. first sem is over and i can't say its been easy because its not! with all the prof watching our every move in all our labs... oh well, can't blame them, we disobeyed a lot of times and i guess they just snapped. now, tomorrow's course card day, doomsday number 9 for me... haha :P

anyway, just this friday, i finally got enrolled in a driving school! thank GOD!!! haha! and since saturday, i have been learning how to handle an automobile. been driving for 4 hours now... not much progress but i guess no one would be interested since driving is not supposed to be a new thing for a 20 year old! gosh!!! haha! :P

so anyway, nothing has been happening much... oh yeah, i've got a 1 year old bunny! haha!!! that's an accomplishment for me since all the bunnies that i've taken home seemed to die in just 4 months or less... haha!!! but this bunny is different... it molted here and right now, he's just fat, dirty and lazy! but still cute anyway :P

about cuteness, check out my multiply and take a peek in the Cuties folder and check out the cute little babies and puppies! don't mind the pikachu pin... haha! :P

anyway, i'll just drop by again in a few months or so...

~berries 'n' cream, mysh

oh yeah, i finished watching the oc from seasons 1-4 except! except except except for season 3's season finale!!! wah! i can't find any copy of it! help me please! somebody!!! (crying out for HELP!)

munchkin!

2007-04-30T21:47:00.000-07:00

hey, after a long time of not posting any entries and not hearing from me, im finally back! with really nothing that interesting to talk about sadly... haha!

anyway, my life has been nothing but smooth... although i may have a few set backs in my acads, i am still hanging on to my course. enjoying it actually. :) of course, i have my friends to thank for most of the fun encountered in school (look in my multiply account to check out the pictures) and of course my life, my light, my munchkin. :D

so anyway, what else is there to say? a! my fiction! i guess i can't continue writing it anymore... first of all, i don't have any time at all to update it. and secondly and i think what's most important in writing a fiction or anything at all, i can't let my imagination run loose like the way it did in the past. i've lost all inspiration to contunue writing it... first i had the perfect plot, the perfect twist and the happily ever after ending that every reader wants to read even though it never happens in reality, but hey, that's what they want, don't we all? we just want to dream a bit, read what's missing in our lives and as for me, write about what my dreams are... anyway, but as it goes on i've lost track of the actual plot, the twist became more twisted and truthfully, i find it dull and very weird even for me! haha! and i can't change it already because i have forgotten what i really want in the first place. so for those people who read my second fic, i'm sorry but i just can't continue it. because there's nothing missing in my life that i want to write about. and most of my dreams have been fulfilled. :D

so what else is there to say? oh yeah, 4 weeks of summer vacation... mine? fully booked! 3 weeks still spent in school with 3 and a half hours locked up in air conditioned rooms. haha! i wouldn't really consider it unlucky because outside the temperature reaches up until 36 to 37 degrees! burning! then before dinnertime i go to the gym when there's no class like tomorrow, i go to the gym in the morning. then i guess after may 17, which is our finals in summer term and my death call because i will be taking MECATWO and STRENTH successively with 30 minutes in between, i will be enrolled in a driving school to get my liscence before the term starts. and i still haven't gone to my pastport interview! wah!

so as you can see, i'm kinda busy busy busy!

ja ne!
~mysh

trust

2007-02-21T19:19:00.000-08:00

after 6 years of not minding this topic, it finally came back to haunt me... "TRUST".

some people may think what's wrong with it, what's the problem with it? if a person is your friend, you should trust him and if this person is a special someone, the more that you should trust him! right? i have nothing against the special someone, i know that this person is special to you mainly because you trust him enough to want to spend your life with him. but here's the thing, what about friends?

there are also different kind of friends, some friends that you have known for life and others for a short while maybe a year or two or even a bit more than that. i have no problem trusting old friends, friends that i have known for almost all my life... but here's the thing, what about new friends? of course some people i learned how to trust, almost too quickly because they earned my trust in that way.

but there are some people who earned my trust but right now, extinguishing it slowly. in short, after being with them for more than two years, i'm starting to doubt and i honestly say that i am confused right now. maybe all these things that are happening right now are just starting to get to my nerves... opening up the part of me who doesn't easily welcome people into my life, who always have a hard time to trust people and doubt almost everyone.

so, tust, is it something that i really need? is it important to friendship and all other relationship between two people? i think yes but what do i know? i'm only human after all.

Christmas

2006-12-25T13:03:00.000-08:00

my holidays have never been this good! have a very merry Christmas indeed, and no, there is no mark of sarcasm.

last night, i laid a cushion outside our room and stayed there for about thirty(30) minutes or so looking at the night sky filled with stars. we usually do this in DLSU, sa ampi. and we get to see a lot of shooting stars. last night i saw one... a red one. it was short but i made my wish. and then i thought about what Mrs. Ang, our LITERA1 prof told us when we read "Dead Stars" by Paz Marquez i think... half of the stars we see at night are already dead. they twinkle or shed light to us because it takes light years for the light to reach our planet. then i thought what it has to do with me and everything that's happening around me at that time...

and then i thought, nothing... i didn't need to be dead to shed light to others, i didn't need to be dead or take up a long time before i can make others smile. i just needed to be me right now... and i know i am going nowhere with this. but the bottom line is, i realized how nice it is to be alive and to be with someone other than myself.

Merry Christmas everyone!!!

and thank you baby for making this a very special Christmas...

less papers...

2006-12-06T19:12:00.000-08:00

vortex has been moved due to "typhoon"... take note of the quote and quote!!!

anyway, papers has been done and lessened to a matengi paper and a 20-pt bonus problem set in elecone... next week is exam week and after that is vortex and doomsday number 5 (meaning 5th course card distribution)!!! this week, it's just the last meetings in every subject...

time flies so fast when you're having fun... and i do mean fun! despite the paper works, the cramming, the results... i still have my fun! maybe those of you who often see me can notice that my phone doesn't stop from lighting up... it doesn't beep nor vibrate... it just lights up and yet i can't seem to figure out if its the battery that has a problem or my constant texting... haha! either way, my phone gets a DAILY charging...

oh well, visit http://petmysh.multiply.com! and have fun with our daily pictures in la salle... i don't need to write it down here because a picture costs a thousand words right? you can see we really have a lot of fun!

time for my greetings!

3.Dec - Happy Birthday to my beloved cousin, Scott!!!
6.Dec - Happy Birthday Herschel!!!
6.Dec - Happy Birthday Maxi!!! i miss your huggies!!!
7.Dec - Happy Birthday Lyni!!!

papers

2006-11-29T23:50:00.000-08:00

papers papers and more papers! that's what's in for us for next week and the following week! thank goodness mps are done except for the exam and the workpiece!!!

anyway, after a hellish week with 3 tests last monday, 1 yesterday, we spent tonight with a movie, the return, and was hoping to party the night away tomorrow night... but because of typhoon something, vortex was postponed to a later date... (probably after finals na daw!) so there... a very long weekend up ahead and guess where i'l be spending everywaking minute of it??? yep, that's right... in front of the ps2 for tomorrow... playing kingdom hearts 2... in front of the computer for friday and saturday writing my reaction for each experiment in lbymemg, reaction paper on cim seminar and my critiques for matengi... then on saturday, maybe start on my macpro2 case study type final paper!

as of now... check out my multiply!!! http://petmysh.multiply.com/

nov 18 2006

2006-11-19T09:12:00.000-08:00

nobody can ever imagine how much fun i had yesterday! usual day out and stuff, but i don't know, it's actually more fun than most...definitely!

after fetching bo and marrion from DLSU, we went to the world trade center for the hero anime convention. long line going in, long line for the tix and definitely a lot of people inside! cosplayers everywhere, anime booths and a lot more! from around 1130 am til 0500 pm we were there looking at the booths for stuff to buy, watching the ongoing shows, looking at displays, for thems guys(marrion, x and jm) taking pictures with cosplayers and for me, having my chibi drawn! :D

then we went to glorietta... we went there by bus, my first ever bus experience (besides school buses). this is my only reaction, i don't want to ride a bus ever again! cab please! :D so in glorietta, we were to watch the animax fashion ability fashion show but ended up eating in mongkok for an hour (sorry na po... tagal ko kumain e :P) then going back to the activity center to catch pupil perform i don't know how many songs! haha! :D then watched the awarding then done! after that, all we did was to play at timezone, window shop... window shop and window shop some more... what else could we do? no cash! haha! :D

thanks guys!

Oh yeah, happy birthday Ken-ken! (dapat kahapon ito pero hindi ako makaconnect sa net e :( )

eekers

2006-11-16T17:58:00.000-08:00

after 9 months!!! finally!

ok, don't think about it already cause i ain't gonna tell either! :P anyway, everyday is just your normal day passing by... and now i've got the colds! constant sneezing, coughing and sniffling... that's the sign of... "the colds!" haha! but this is no fun i tell you! yesterday after classes, i went home asap and guess what, i collapsed right away! so it's night night myshie! :P

besides the cold, i've got great news! since friday, i've been playing kingdom hearts 2 but i promised myself to give in to a little discipline and play it just during fridays to sundays. i still got final fantasy 12 to play next! and i've got the oc seasons 1-3 to watch... pia carrot and green green too! :D

besides all that, i've got a book report to write for litera and 4 journal critiques to write for matengi due the week before finals i think :P but right now, i really am enjoying my life... and i do mean the word ENJOY! :D

hating hamburgers

2006-10-23T18:45:00.000-07:00

you know what i hate the most?! it's frozen hamburgers and a dull knife!

this morning i was preparing my lunch and my breakfast. i thought about cooking some burgers for lunch and i took it out to thaw for awhile and got the dullest knife around. the knife can't even chop a calamansi into two so i was quite confident that it was too dull to cut my skin up...

carelessly, it slipped and cut my left pinkie! and the whole day, i have spent 6 band aids to wrap it up. yep, it's gruesome and definitely painful! the first thing i did when i realized that i have cut myself was to stare at it and weakened. i am afraid of seeing cuts and blood coming out of my skin! or even others... then after a minute of shock, i was walking aroung the kitchen saying "oh my gosh oh my gosh" over and over again holding my pinkie up. i thought that it might come off because the cut was so deep. when i finally thought of cleaning it up, i washed it for around 2 seconds and wrapped it up in a band aid already. ok, stupid me... i don't know any first aid so i panicked!

when i got to school, everyone was just telling me how i should have acted and then again, i was in shock and i was panicking... i also have my weaknesses, and so i admit, i need a keeper... i went to the clinic to have it cleaned after lunch... betadine wasn't supposed to hurt much but tears were welling up on my eyes when i got out... it really hurts!

so here i am with a spongebob squarepants band aid to cover up the gruesome cut... hope it closes up soon! i don't want to see it everytime i need to change the band aid...

told post

2006-10-16T14:40:00.000-07:00

i was feeling kind of down last saturday night and i texted 2 dear friends of mine about it... well, the other one, JM, was new to this situation i guess... he didn't really know the details but here comes mama Tep. I know she's so used to this rants of mine that all she asked me to do was to write about it in my blog... so here it is.

i was channel surfing that night and since it is a saturday, all usual tv series are not on. so i tuned in to hbo, cinemax and star movies hoping to stumble upon a movie that would keep my interest up. and the channel stopped at star movies. the movie was just starting but i know what it is... not because i've seen it in commercials but because somehow, it became a very memorable movie for me. it was 'guess who' staring ashton kutcher and bernie mac.

trust me, i tried changing the channel to prevent me from remembering stuff but i couldn't! i couldn't just log out of the television set nor the channel and the movie. i was hooked. so after the movie, i really tried to stay strong but broke down instead...

i am moving on... trust me i am. but sometimes it's just hard to just let go of everything especially when everything meant something to you... the way i treasured every moment and every second of it certainly might have meant something FOR me. that's it really... so i'm sorry...

crying is useless... it didn;t bring me any good then and it won't bring me any good now...

rest and relaxation...

2006-10-14T17:25:00.000-07:00

have you ever heard of the phrase "r and r"??? no, i don't mean read and review just like in my fictions... it's all about rest and relaxation.

lately i have been bombarded with non-stop assignments, tests and 'needed' attendance on meetings and pictorials. to top it all up, oct 7 and today i spent my saturdays in school as well for orient2. 2 saturdays of business attire and semi-formal. it's ok i guess... even though i know i have thrown away 4 quizzes down the drain already just to catch up on my 'r&r' for a day or two... heck! last monday we had 4 quizzes in one day! 2 25% quizzes for engcomp (1 lab and 1 lecture), 1 20% quiz for litera1 and a hundred percent 3 item quiz for mecatwo. i was in school until 0745 in the evening taking my mecatwo test... it's actually supposed to be until 0900 but i finished the exam in 45 minutes simply because i was drained to the bone! then tuesday we were supposed to have two quizzes but both were cancelled and then materials lab. thursday was our test for elecone and 2 labs followed... lbyece1 and our mach lab! lathe machines... haha! i'm having so much fun with the lathe machine and i think i'm almost done with my plumb bob (i don't know how it is spelled) but sadly, we don't have a lab next week... so for one more week, we are delayed again!!!

and luckily, my baby is all healed thanks to the medicine my dad gave me and mark's advice!

so, right now, there's no more orient2 for next saturday... no more quizzes scheduled for next week and i have nothing to look forward to except a full week to myself... rest and relaxation, i really need to catch up!

bugged

2006-10-04T13:54:00.000-07:00

my baby has been sick since last two sundays ago! sure, i'm doing something... i'm cleaning him up but i think it's not lessening the bug that its caught.

anyway, i have been really bitter these last few days... i know i have no right to be bitter about it and i have options not to notice it... but it's there and it's really pissing me off!!!

bitter, yes. i am bitter

waiting for CROSS

2006-09-11T14:57:00.000-07:00

i just can't stop thinking about James Patterson's Alex Cross series... it's been in my wishlist for almost more than a year now and basically, i have read every book released. in fact, i just finished reading Mary Mary last night... i can't stop it, what can i say? it's my addiction! anyway, here's the new thing, the latest chapter of the series... CROSS.

from the publisher:

"Alex Cross was a rising star in the Washington, DC, Police Department when an unknown shooter gunned down his wife, Maria, in front of him. The killer was never found, and the case turned cold, filed among the unsolved drive-bys in D.C.'s rough neighborhoods.
Years later, still haunted by his wife's death, Cross is making a bold move in his life. Now a free agent from the police and the FBI, he's set up practice as a psychologist once again. His life with Nana Mama, Damon, Jannie, and little Alex is finally getting in order. He even has a chance at a new love.
Then Cross's former partner, John Sampson, calls in a favor. He is tracking a serial rapist in Georgetown, one whose brutal modus operandi recalls a case Sampson and Cross worked together years earlier. When the case reveals a connection to Maria's death, Cross latches on for the most urgent and terrifying ride of his life.
From the man USA TODAY has called the "master of the genre," CROSS is the high-velocity thriller James Patterson and Alex Cross's fans have waited years to read--and the pinnacle of the bestselling detective series of the past two decades."

i can't wait for november! i just wish i can earn around 1000 big ones just in time to buy even the hard bound copy! can't wait!!!

source: www.barnesandnoble.com

nightmares

2006-09-10T13:11:00.000-07:00

lately i have just been taking articles from the internet that have caught my attention. some information overload even for me. been reading books non stop actually, that's why there are a lot of things that had been introduced to me. but in reality, what has been happening in my life has nothing to do with the books that i'm reading or even the anime and series that i have been watching...

sem break is finally over as the clock reaches 0810 am tomorrow. i will be spending 3 more months sitting in a cramped classroom (although it is big) while letting the professor in front load my brain for the future that i have chosen, or so i believe. but every night, there are things that are strange and even i can't tell why they are happening... and these are my regular nightmares.

some people have good dreams... sweet fairytale like dreams... but mine are always nightmares. i find myself waking up in the middle of the night because of a bad dream. what are these nightmares? diffeerent kinds. sometimes it's just like in the book that i'm reading bad guys in killing sprees and are definitely psyhopaths, sometimes things that i have hidden from everyone else that are suddenly found and published for the whole world or at least all those i know to know what these are, sometimes someone just walking out of my life and sometimes fragments of what i have lost in the past...

so what are nightmares anyway? and why am i having them? according to http://www.dreammoods.com/ "The distinction of a nightmare is its frightening and/or emotional content. You tend to wake up in fear in the midst of a nightmare. Because of its frightening nature, you tend to remember your nightmares and the vivid details. They have a bigger impact upon your waking mind and its images stay with you throughout the day. One reason for nightmares may be a way of our unconscious to get our attention about a situation or problem that you have been avoiding. It is time to take notice and confront a problem or situation. Nightmares serve an important purpose in showing you what is troubling you from within you deeper levels. Discussing, analyzing, and understanding your nightmares can lead to a solution for some problem, internal conflict or personal difficulty. Having nightmares are normal, but a high frequency of nightmares can be a sign of being overwhelmed and excessive stress which should be dealt with. Nightmares can be an important resource for self-knowledge and emotional discovery. They convey an important message and help clear up the conflict in your life. it is important to distance yourself and work pass the emotional content (fear, grief, anger, etc.) of your nightmare and analyze it from an objective perspective. The disturbing emotions may be a way for your unconscious to prevent you from digging deep into the meaning of your nightmares. But it pays to try and make sense of those darker dreams. "

so, am i supposed to do this even though i don't really know what is bothering me???

full moon wo sagashite

2006-09-08T19:39:00.000-07:00

Eternal Snow

I'm falling in love with you, and which will come to pass?
Will the feeling do nothing but swell, or
Will you notice it
Even though I've never said anything?

Like snow, but quietly
It continues to pile up

Hold me tight if I think like this
I didn't want to know
What it was like to fall in love with someone
I love you; my tears won't stop
Therefore, I should be free of you

How long will I keep thinking of you?
My sigh makes the window glass fog up

Now, a burning candle
Can't melt my shaking heart anymore?

Hold me tight, strong enough to break me
If we meet in a biting cold blizzard
I won't feel cold, and
I miss you everytime I think of you
This scarf that I knit for you
I'm holding it alone tonight

If there were an eternally falling snow
This feeling I have for you, could I hide it?

Hold me tight if I think like this
I didn't want to know
What it was like to fall in love with someone
I love you; my chest fills up
I want to cry out to the winter sky
I want to see you now

New Future

Just one thing doesn't change
That dream I painted
How did I appear as I am now
In my young eyes back then
Hey, look up at it, it's such a vast night sky
So that soon, so that you understand
You will shine at your best soon so hurry
Look for the FULL MOON

Let's sing a song!
Together forever Everything I can do for you right now
Day by day
Your destiny until now From tomorrow, clutch your hopes to your chest
Let's sing a song!
Together forever If I'm with you I can overcome any hardship
More and more
More and more and more I want to be closer Please stay right here
many thanks for you!

Wonderous chance meetings
As long as they keep happening
We have ever more precious things
All those days full of chance mischief
Now I can laugh and love them
That's right, I always yearned for the wide stage
Now I'm no longer alone
Everyone is full of smiles
Because this is where I am

Let's sing a song
Tonight, rather than the spotlight, it's me that will shine now
Day by day
Those passionate looks and cheers shine upon my streaming sweat
Let's sing a song
Tonight I want to believe there are never ending burning thoughts
More and more
More and more and more I want to scream this song, this dream will
never end

Myself

Why, oh why do I love you so much?
My tears overflow this much

Back in that time, there was so much to lose that I couldn't sing
anything
A place just a little ways away--That was where I was

That day, deep in your eyes, I saw the loneliness
Are the two of us really alike?
If I'd realized it, you were always by my side

Why do I love you so much?
Your voice rings inside me so much it makes me sad
Just what it was that supported me so much
From afar, I realize it now

Like a lost child, crying and searching
But there was no such thing as forever

"It's okay if you don't believe in anyone" you whispered
Were the two of us really alike?
And I decided then I would protect you

Why can't I turn them to memories
You're too far, too near for me to reach
The more I tell myself "I will forget"
The larger you loom in my thoughts

Why do I love you so much?
Your voice rings (inside me) so much it makes me sad
Just what it was that supported me so much
I realize it now from afar

Why do I love you so much?
It's so easy I just can't answer

Love Chronicle

why? I've completely forgotten how to love
meetings will come someday with the beginning of parting
somehow, I have decided upon that idea

you tied my loose shoe laces of my dirty sneakers
your shy smile suddenly shone in the sunlight

it's not that I love for want of love
you gave me the courage to love straight-forward

the two swear to the journey from now
that no matter what occurs, the two hands will never part

it's weird, the everyday landscape begin to seem special
the flowers, birds, and sea the wind, mountains, sweet sun
when everything shines and cuddles togetherhana

I found the last piece to the unsolvable jigsaw puzzle
your broad back protects me and I'll continue to follow you
for eternity

until now, I've took the longer way around but
I'm finally able to love straight-forward

the two will head to the dream of tomorrow
no matter what occurs, the gaze won't be shifted

it's not that I love for want of love
you gave me the courage to love straight-forward

the two will head to the dream of tomorrow
no matter what occurs, the gaze won't be shifted

it's not that I love for want of love
you gave me the courage to love straight-forward

the two swear to the journey from now
that no matter what occurs, the two hands will never part

daisy cutter

2006-09-06T09:55:00.001-07:00

BLU-82B

The BLU-82B/C-130 weapon system, nicknamed Commando Vault in Vietnam and Daisy Cutter in Afghanistan, is a high altitude delivery of 15,000 pound conventional bomb, delivered from an MC-130 since it is far too heavy for the bomb racks on any bomber or attack aircraft. Originally designed to create an instant clearing in the jungle, it has been used in Afghanistan as an anti-personnel weapon and as an intimidation weapon because of its very large lethal radius (variously reported as 300-900 feet) combined with flash and sound visible at long distances. It is the largest conventional bomb in existence but is less than one thousandth the power of the Hiroshima nuclear bomb.

Frequent press reports to the contrary, the Daisy Cutter is not a fuel-air explosive (FAE). It is a conventional explosive incorporating both agent and oxidizer. In contrast, an FAE consists only of agent and a dispersing mechanism, and takes its oxidizer from the oxygen in the air. FAEs generally run between 500 and 2000 pounds; it would be difficult to make an FAE the size of Daisy Cutter because the correct uniform mixture of agent with ambient air would be difficult to maintain if the agent were so widely dispersed. Thus, the conventional explosive technique of Daisy Cutter is more reliable than that of an FAE, particularly if there is significant wind or thermal gradient.

This system depends upon the accurate positioning of the aircraft by either a fixed ground radar or onboard navigation equipment. The ground radar controller, or aircrew navigator as applicable, is responsible for positioning the aircraft prior to final countdown and release. Primary aircrew considerations include accurate ballistic and wind computations provided by the navigator, and precision instrument flying with strict adherence to controller instructions. The minimum altitude for release due to blast effects of the weapon is 6,000 feet AGL. The BLU-82 was originally designed to clear helicopter landing zones and artillery emplacements in Vietnam. The warhead contains 12,600 pounds of low-cost GSX slurry (ammonium nitrate, aluminum powder, and polystyrene) and is detonated just above ground level by a 38-inch fuze extender, optimized for destruction and ground level without digging a crater. The weapon produces an overpressure of 1000 psi [pounds per square inch] near ground zero, tapering off as distance increases.

Eleven BLU-82s were dropped during Desert Storm, all from Special Operations C-130s. The initial drops were intended to test the ability of the bomb to clear mines; no reliable bomb damage assessment exists on mine clearing effectiveness. Later, bombs were dropped as much for their psychological effect as for their antipersonnel effects. The Air Force dropped several BLU-82s during the campaign to destory the Taliban and al-Qaeda terror networks in Afganistan to attack and demoralize personnel and to destroy underground- and cave-complexes.

source: http://www.fas.org/man/dod-101/sys/dumb/blu-82.htm

sandro dias takes vert gold

2006-08-23T10:26:00.000-07:00

Sandro Dias Takes Vert Gold, Bob and Bucky Follow

LOS ANGELES -- On Thursday night at The STAPLES Center, Sandro Dias' first run was good enough for gold. It was also the Brazilian's first skateboard vert gold medal at the X Games. Bob Burnquist nabbed silver and Bucky Lasek took home the bronze. Andy Macdonald missed the podium, just 0.25 points behind Lasek.
Dias best finish in skate vert was a bronze at X Games 11, but he holds several vert titles from the Latin X Games and Asian X Games.

"I thought my score was too high," quipped Dias, when asked if he was surprised his first run was enough for the victory. "But I love the judges."

That winning run included a backside 540 McTwist to tail, a gnar jar 540, heelflip to frontside slider and ollie to fakie.

Burnquist and Lasek both had strong runs with opportunities to take the gold, but in the end came up short. Burnquist fell on his final two runs on a switch kickflip after a frontside air to backside air.

"I feel very good about that run, because I connected every obstacle and it flowed all the way through," said Burnquist. "The switch kickflip that I couldn't land I'll definitely lose sleep over that because I usually can land it. I think that if I had landed that, I might have got the gold."

Lasek put together a run that included a frontside air 540, ollie flip fakie and stalefish.

"My body felt good for as battered as it was," Lasek said. "I was feeling it on my third run but I was seeing about eight walls ahead of myself and fell on something easy."

source: www.expn.com

overdue library books

2006-08-17T14:06:00.000-07:00

i guess this entry is all about overdue entries! but unlike library books, these entries are still free and hopefully fun to read! so, last 29 july 2006, i went to sj to deliver some cds and luckily got my chimes! then we went to tep's house... guess what, its the first time my chimes has all those words and ink writings... yep! i asked some batchmates of mine to sign it! sadly, not everyone signed :( of course mama tep's party was fun! with all the food, nun and booze (although kulang yung booze) enjoy parin! when we were in the car heading home, we dropped ken ken off first... evil part! they opened the window for the guards then a roach entered!!! eeeewwww!!! scary! then we got to go home...

next event... 04 august 2006... sme gave us a trip to remember! our very first plant visit!!! it was fun! actually a lot of fun! and the best fun of them all??? the bus ride! haha! :D we were like a couple of gamblers (without the stakes)playing non stop card games! for our lunch, marrion and jon-riz provided the picnic (literal yan!) as in bread and spread and a huge bottle of skippy! (with crushed pringles yung akin) yummy! anyway, the trip was also awesome! some food processes and machines in taguig and some biomedical stuff in laguna... then there was also the stupid dumb police officer who took the liscence of manong before we even got to leave la salle! how could you say we were parked illegally when the engine's on?! la salle wasn't even complaining!

12 august 2006... we went to glorietta after my class and entered every shoe store we saw, literally! of course we also stopped by bookstores... then we went to greenbelt to meet up with the others to watch sukob (yikes! hindi ko nakita yung multo! good thing!) then when we were looking for a restaurant to have our dinner, we saw policemen chasing some teens... still don't know what happened there (refer to tep's blog for more! anyway, then it's bubba gump!!! run forrest run! then off to bed... no booze here... first time i went to greenbelt without it...

13 august 2006... went to greenhills for some supposedly bargain hunting with jing, nic and lynnet! guess what?! bargains smargains... its no bargain! anyway, i got to buy my orange rose anyway, so what am i complaining for?!

and finally today... this week we started having our finals... in fact, i just finished my memmath test awhile ago. and next week are the departmental... yep, phyeng2, mechone, envieng and the dreaded enganal... oh well... but it also brings something good... that means sem break is almost here!!! and the last lbymemb (which by the way is the cause of the metal smell) and lbyphy2!!! whahahha!!! when my die returns to me and it's finished chroming, trust me, i will put up a picture here in different angles! even though my die is not perfect, in fact it's super ugly compared to the others, i'm still proud of it because it's labor for 1 whole term!!!

as for my fic, i'll try to finish it during sem break... it's really getting old fast! ja ne! no more overdue posts... i hope!

orange rose

2006-08-12T19:51:00.001-07:00

after months of searching for an orange rose... i finally acquired one! actually, it's not what i had in mind... it's not a bouquet or a single stemmed rose... but instead, it's a plant! yep, with the actually thorns, soil and the watering maintenance! but still, i love my orange roses... i actually took pictures of it just now to make sure i will remember it even though it dies out on me... i have no green thumb... more like a black thumb! take a close look at the pic...

i just found out that my beloved digi cam can do this during night time!!!

and here's my edited version of it...

anyway, still waiting...

dreams and nightmares

2006-08-06T21:55:00.000-07:00

oh yeah, the previous entry's title was elfren lied, or fairy's song. that was my reaction towards the series... watch it and you'll find out why i kept on insisting that it was something i want to have but could never have... ok, SPOILER : because the girl, the cousin, can never have the guy because of nyuu... ok? same with canvas2 but in this case, the cousin won. incest?! just to clear things up...

oh well, now that's clear, here's my entry for tonight... dreams and nightmares. why? i have been having nightmares every night and sometimes dreams so weird that i take note of them in the middle of the night just to ponder on it when i was fully awake.

i wonder what causes these nightmares? oh well! Destiny is online right now! just have to buzz him in!

elfren lied

2006-08-01T10:50:00.000-07:00

alam kong hindi na dapat ang nasa isip

hindi na dapat hinahangad

hindi na dapat inaasahan

hindi na dapat binabalikan

hindi na dapat inaabangan

hindi na dapat inaantay

hindi na dapat ninanais

dahil hindi na darating ang panahon na hinihiling

ngunit sa pagdilat ng mga mata

yun parin ang nasa isip

yun parin ang nasa piling

yun parin and hinahangad

yun parin ang inaasahan

yun parin ang binabalikan

yun parin ang inaabangan

yun parin ang inaantay

yun parin ang ninanais

sa pagpikit ng mga mata

yun parin ang napapanaginipan

yun parin ang nagpipigil

yun parin ang rason...

bakit ganun?

rainy day

2006-07-31T08:50:00.000-07:00

chalk one up for the rainy days! another rainy day in the lonely city of Manila... for me that is. i don't know, maybe the weather does harm my mood... and right now, i can say is that i'm lonelier than you can imagine.

while i walked passed the engwalk a little pass 0620 and went straight up to the 4th floor of saint joseph, i felt like a zombie, a mindless creature of the night. i know i looked like something a cat dragged in and obviously in my head, there were bells ringing. no, not the kind of bells in your usual daydreams of fairytales but the kind of bells you hear when you are the one ringing it. gets? in short, manic headache! i am feeling cold, even my most trusted jacket is failing tremendously. maybe it's because i got wet in the rain yesterday when i was looking for starbucks near the le pavillion. i can't say that i regret it, i don't! i had fun yesterday... too bad we didn't get to stay until 0400 to personally hear who won the goodies. oh well, kyou kara maou until the 66th episode is worth it! not to mention a dvd copy of fma movie and elfren lied... i just forgot to purchase something... maybe when i will buy the last dvd of kyou kara maou nalang.

anyway, back to the present. just came from my physics class. Dr. Palisoc told me that classes will probably be suspended come 1140... i hope so too. surprisingly, i am raring not to attend my memmath class today and not so surprisingly my envieng class. maybe i really am sick. i don't even want to attend my macpro class... but that's the way life is. so far, i have dealt with 3 people since i arrived here in DLSU. i really don't feel like doing this, or even attending the seminar with festo later on...

my mind is spinning right now... i don't want to think anymore.

did i have to be the one to talk first? and if i don't, will it be like that night again?

lalety...

2006-07-28T18:51:00.000-07:00

i don't plan on making this my research blog... in fact, i don't plan on doing one of those in the future! it's just that i found that very interesting (for me) article that i just knew i have to repost it here for you guys! so, how have i been?

lately, i have been having an insatiable craving for hot shots with kfc gravy and ling-nam lugaw! and of course the strawberry cheesecake haagen dazs ice cream and hot milo... yummy!

what have i been up to? you know high school musical??? i love the songs especially bop to the top and the jazz version of what i've been looking for! thanks Ann! you know baby blues? i'm still not done reading the whole 10-year archive! you know how i love baking?! well, i still haven't got the time to bake yet... but cooking? just finished cooking some potato croquettes with minced pork. oh well, what else have i been up to? before going to sleep, i think about what to do with the new layout for my last issue of MEMo. hopefully, my seniors will leave it up to me to make it MY style this time... oh well! what else have i been up to?

oh yeah, the down parts... my left hand is injured from lab yesterday... maybe those lab safety rules have a use after all! especially the running part and the using the files as light sabers... sheesh! that was embarrassing! haha! not to mention my left ankle is acting up again... it freakin' hurts! i seem to have a red rash between my eyes during the morning... but right now, thankfully it's gone! my callous on my big left toe is still there... and i still lack sleep!!! not to mention i just burned my tongue...

good parts... hmmm... i guess the best part in my life right now is kyle xy! i love watching it! and of course my friends are still there and that i have found a new book just awhile ago... Kiss the Girls by James Patterson, one more off my wishlist! so, i'm going to go read it now! til next time!

choco-strawberries and kisses,

mysh ;P

Shout Out to MaTep! Happy birthday!!!

Team envisions exploring Mars with mini probes

2006-07-24T08:17:00.000-07:00

Team envisions exploring Mars with mini probes

MIT engineers and scientist colleagues have a new vision for the future of Mars exploration: a swarm of probes, each the size of a baseball, spreading out across the planet in every direction.

Thousands of probes, powered by fuel cells, could cover a vast area now beyond the reach of today's rovers, including exploring remote and rocky terrain that large rovers cannot navigate.

"They would start to hop, bounce and roll and distribute themselves across the surface of the planet, exploring as they go, taking scientific data samples," said Steven Dubowsky, the MIT professor of mechanical engineering who is leading the research team.

Dubowsky's team plans to test prototypes on Earth this fall and estimates that a trip to Mars is about 10 years away. He is now working with Penelope Boston, director of the cave research program at the New Mexico Institute of Mining and Technology, to create probes that can handle the rough terrain of Mars.

Scientists believe that lava tubes commonly seen on Mars are a promising location to search for signs of water. Lava tubes are tunnels left behind by underground lava flows. Signs of these tubes, which are also present in many locations on Earth, can be seen above ground.

The tubes could be entered through holes that formed on the Mars surface where sections of the tubes have collapsed, but these formations are too treacherous for today's rovers to explore. However, tiny bouncing probes could make their way inside the caves.

Mars also features canyons that could have once had rivers flowing through them. The canyons, too, are inaccessible to rovers, but small probes might be able to make their way down the canyon faces.

One of the major advantages of the mini probes is that losing a few out of hundreds or thousands of probes sent into a treacherous area would not derail the overall mission, Dubowsky said. "You would certainly be willing to sacrifice some of these 1,000 balls" to gather information from remote areas, he said.

Each probe would weigh about 100 grams (4 ounces) and would carry its own tiny fuel cell. "You could hop for a long, long time on a few grams of fuel," Dubowsky said.

Artificial muscles inside the probes could make them hop an average of six times per hour, with a maximum rate of 60 hops per hour. The devices would travel about 1.5 meters per hop; they can also bounce or roll. In 30 days, a swarm of probes could cover 50 square miles, according to Dubowsky.

Each probe would carry different types of sensors, including cameras and environmental sensors. The probes are made of durable and lightweight plastic that could withstand the rigors of Mars travel and the extreme cold. Their fuel cells will provide enough heat to keep their electronics and sensors operable.
One thousand of the probes would have the same volume and weight as the Spirit rover. "For the weight and size of Spirit you could certainly send more than 1,000 of these sensors up there, which would have much greater capability," Dubowsky said.

The probes would be able to communicate with nearby probes through a local area network (LAN). Data would be sent to a base station that would transmit information back to Earth.

Other possible applications for the small robots include search and rescue missions in collapsed buildings or other dangerous sites, and counter-terrorist activities (searching for terrorists in caves).

Last year, the researchers got funding from the NASA Institute for Advanced Concepts (NIAC). The NIAC grant is meant to help move the project from the concept stage to the prototype stage.

Other collaborators on the project include Jean-Sebastien Plante, a postdoctoral researcher in the Department of Mechanical Engineering, and Fritz Prinz and Mark Cutkowsky of Stanford University.

Source: http://web.mit.edu/newsoffice/2006/microbots.html

baby blues

2006-07-22T17:20:00.000-07:00

something cute from baby blues...

back to normal

2006-07-21T23:39:00.000-07:00

everything's back to normal! at long last!

the last two weeks were crazy and insanely tiresome! i didn't even had enough time to sleep or watch tv. but everything's back to normal, including my mood. the past entries about the thing that i have written that i will never talk about... er... basta, yung mga past entries ko about nung sa word na sabi ko dati na i will never talk about... um... yun din yun e... sowi! anyway, glad things went back to the way they were and no, i am not feeling any bit of sadness, pain, bitterness, anger or any negative feelings... all i can think about right now is having enough sleep!!!

so enough said, as for my fiction, gay dreamer... it's still continuing trust me! even though i have not updated for about a week na ata... but still, don't worry, i will still be updating it within this month i think? anyway, i need some strawberry cheesecake haagen dazs ice cream!!! 1 pint!!! and milo... lots and lots of milo!!! (addiction)

bitter

2006-07-17T17:31:00.000-07:00

Bitterness : An emotion which encompasses feelings of anger and hatred.

I AM NOT BITTER!!!

make me sweet... with a little bit of spice... and maybe a little salty... but never bitter! why should i be bitter? or at least feel the slightest bitterness? i'm happy with my life right now... maybe a little bit of downs once in a while but never bitter!

"the face can speak of a thousand emotions but it can easily mask what the heart truly feels. don't be fooled for the happiest face may be masking the most hurting heart..."

STILL NOT BITTER!

it's just not the same

2006-07-12T16:52:00.000-07:00

i once told someone that i love solving problems in math even though i suck at it. and what he replied stayed with me, "wow, true love."

what is it anyway? what does it mean? it's tough really but i hate things when they are just not the same anymore.

in short, i hate change. you need to adjust to them and sometimes, some people are just not that great... some people just can't adjust to the situation that fast. i guess some people will know why i moved the subject this fast, for those who doesn't know, you will find out sooner or later.

it's like when one day you and someone are THAT close but suddenly the next day, you are THAT far. wow, it's just not the same.

well, i'm going to stop here. like my status says, "when the rain pours, sudden loneliness comes..."

equivalent exchange

2006-07-08T21:19:00.000-07:00

"Humankind cannot gain anything without first giving something in return. To obtain, something of equal value must be lost. That is alchemy's First Law of Equivalent Exchange. In those days, we really believed that to be the world's one, and only, truth." — Alphonse Elric, from Fullmetal Alchemist.

i wonder if that's true and if it is the one and only truth.

in life, in order to get something that we want, we need to use money to purchase it. to get money, we need to work for it. in order to work for it, we need energy. in order to get energy, we need to eat. and so on and so forth... we get something we want by giving something up. EQUIVALENT EXCHANGE. there's nothing in this world that doesn't have a price tag on it. even if you say that the air is free, we need to take good care of it and not pollute it. EQUIVALENT EXCHANGE. something of equal value must be lost...

you can never bring a person back from the dead even with all the technology nowadays because a human soul can never be replaced with anything. a human life can never be bought. in forming human life, there are stuffs that a man and a woman should give up. we do not create human life, GOD does. EQUIVALENT EXCHANGE.

ever since the day i heard that line from fullmetal alchemist, i have been thinking about somethings that doesn't need equivalent exchange. something that i can gain without giving something up. until now, i haven't thought of anything at all. zip, nada, none! EQUIVALENT EXCHANGE. i have put that line in mind everyday and some people would just have to tell me again and again, "sacrifices are to be made... konting tiyaga lang..." i'm tired... dead tired. i know i haven't been working half as hard as the others but i don't care. i don't care about others, all i need to care about right now is myself. that sounds so selfish, i know. but in order to care for others, i should take care of myself first right? EQUIVALENT EXCHANGE. where am i going?

i know that sacrifices are to be made because of that conservation of energy. nothing can be formed out of nothing. everything in this world is physics, chemistry, biology... in short, science. everything has a reason. and the unexplainable are miracles, religion and GOD.

in love, you can never get the person you love if you are not of equal value... "to obtain, something of equal value must be lost..."

my personality test

2006-07-04T19:26:00.000-07:00

Your personality is actually determined by two personality sub-types - your primary, or dominant sub-type, and your secondary sub-type. You are a Millionaire which means you are a Success / Thinker Your primary sub-type is defined by "Success" characteristics and your secondary sub-type is defined by "Thinker" characteristics.

That means you're very ambitious and personable, and you've got a great sense of humor. Chances are you care a lot about how you look. You're bursting with self-confidence, and people admire you for your achievements and determination.

How do we know all this? How do we know that behind that bold exterior you sometimes worry that you're not good enough? Or that you can be so critical of your work that it verges on self-destructive? How could we have divined that you aim to succeed — and you'll quickly crush anyone who stands in your way?

Because while you were taking the test, you answered four different types of questions — questions that measured confidence, apprehension, willingness to take risks, and your focus on experience versus appearance — the primary traits that determine your personality. Based on your responses, we determined your personality type, Millionaire.

And that's just scratching the surface.

** from emode... i'm a millionaire!

bakit nga ba?

2006-07-01T07:19:00.000-07:00

bakit una ang close close tapos biglang *ka-poof*?!

hindi ko rin alam e... bakit nga ba?

over lunch in college

2006-06-30T20:50:00.000-07:00

when i was in high school, i have never thought about how i will eat my meals in college. i know that there wouldn't be anymore fifth floor dining halls there and our permanent table and table-mates and i know that i wouldn't be bringing my own lunches everyday. the question is, where will i eat? what will i eat? who will be there to be with me?

everytime i have lunch in dlsu. i am usually with highschool friends, still. i don't know, i seem to be more comfortable with them and they seem to be a lot more fun than my blockmates. when someone told me last year that when i reach 2nd year i will be much closer to my blockmates? sheesh... here i am, still with my loving high school friends!

who are these ever so treasured people? there's jira (who will never be out of the picture), kenken, mato, joyce, shaelyn (sometimes), czay (rarely na e), bebe (kanina nandyan), jo (minsan pero mostly snacks lang e... taga libre ng big chill!) and sometimes cobang and pj are on the other table.

promise, i never have never laughed so hard before but everytime i'm with these guys, (specially mga kasama ko kanina sa tosh? --jing, ken, mato, joyce and bebe) i never stop laughing! and i eat super slow because i laugh most of the time. trust me, kahit kailan hindi pa naspespell ang lunch sa akin as 'super fun'!

i look forward to having lunch with them. kasi kahit na gaano karami kinakain ko ok lang e, i'm with them, i eat super slow and they entertain me! that's why i enjoy lunch!

Gay Dreamer

2006-06-29T20:52:00.000-07:00

been busy with school, the cube, work, birthdays, parties, my puppy and my brand new fiction, Gay Dreamer.

i am meaning to write an entry but i just don't know what to write since all the ideas that come into my mind is for my fiction. i don't know but when i start writing a fiction, the ideas just keep on coming and sometimes 24 hours haven't even pass and there's my next chapter being uploaded for the readers. i love writing this one and please, don't judge it until the word COMPLETED is before the synopsis because i can assure you that there will be a lot of twists in this story. not one, maybe not just two too... all i'm saying is, never judge it like it sounds familiar although ken ken and matep already told me that it sounds very familiar... haha! oh well, try to check it out guys. it's in Gay Dreamer.

One more thing, FULL METAL ALCHEMIST! haha! finally watched it after i told jally that it's not my genre. and i stand corrected, i love it! well, the ending is quite tragic and i do feel a lot for winry but that's not the point. best episode of the series? guess what?! the episode of roy mustang's band! in short, today's episode in animax. i just love roy mustang! it can be seen in my picture in ym right? oh well...

so, that's it for now... til next time! check out my fic, confessions of a prince and my poem in fiction press would you?

songs... just songs...

2006-06-23T17:11:00.000-07:00

Maniwala Ka Sana
Parokya ni Edgar

nung una kitang makilala di man lang kita napuna,
di ka naman kasi ganoon kaganda, di ba?
simpleng kabatak,
simpleng kabarkada lamang ang tingin ko sa 'yo.
di ko talaga alam kung bakit ako nagkakaganito!
ako'y napaisip at biglang napatingin,
di ko malaman kung anong dapat gawin!
dahan- dahan nag- iba ang pagtingin ko sa 'yo,
gumanda ka bigla at ang mga kilos mo'y nakakapanibago!
napansin ko na lamang na nalalaglag ang aking puso.
bad trip talaga! na- i- in lab ako sa 'yo!
tuwing kita'y nakikita ako ay napapangiti,
para bang gusto kong halikan ang iyong mga pisngi!
CHORUS
minamahal kita! ba't di ka maniwala?!
anong kailangan kong gawin upang seryosohin mo ang aking sinasabi tungkol sa pag- ibig ko sa 'yo?
maniwala ka sana, minamahal kita!
nasira na yata ang ulo ko, kaiisip ko sa 'yokahit saan tumingin ay mukha mo ang nakikita ko!
pero bakit para kang naiilang, ako ay iyong iniiwasan?
ako'y nahihirapan uy, wala namang ganyanan!
pakiramdam ko ngayon ako ay nagmumukhang gago!
ngayon ako'y nagsisisi kung bakit ako nag "i love you"!!!
kasi di na tayo tulad ng dati
ngayon sa akin ay diring- dire!
(CHORUS)

Somewhere Only We Know
Keane

I walked across an empty land
I knew the pathway like the back of my hand
I felt the earth beneath my feet
Sat by the river and it made me complete
Oh simple thing where have you gone
I'm getting old and I need something to rely on
So tell me when you're gonna let me in
I'm getting tired and I need somewhere to begin
I came across a fallen tree
I felt the branches of it looking at me
Is this the place we used to love?
Is this the place that I've been dreaming of?
Oh simple thing where have you gone
I'm getting old and I need something to rely on
So tell me when you're gonna let me in
I'm getting tired and I need somewhere to begin
And if you have a minute why don't we go
Talk about it somewhere only we know?
This could be the end of everything
So why don't we go
Somewhere only we know?
[break]
Oh simple thing where have you gone
I'm getting old and I need something to rely on
So tell me when you're gonna let me in
I'm getting tired and I need somewhere to begin
So if you have a minute why don't we go
Talk about it somewhere only we know?
This could be the end of everything
So why don't we go
So why don't we go
This could be the end of everything
So why don't we go
Somewhere only we know?

** some songs... simply that.

I Wonder If the Time Will Come

2006-06-13T15:35:00.000-07:00

I wonder if the time will come
When you would simply stare
And get lost in my eyes
Then gently whisper words into my ear.

I wonder if the time will come
When you would just call me up
To say nothing at all,
Because you simply miss me.

I wonder if the time will come
When you would sit by me
Under a pool of stars and a full moon
And simply stay silent until we doze off.

I wonder if the time will come
When you would cover up my eyes,
Let me guess who you are
And kiss my nape just to be sweet.

I wonder if the time will come
When you would drive me to a valley
Full of flowers to lay me down
And stay with me until the sun sets.

I wonder if the time will come
When I get to hug you so dearly
And feel your warmth
All over my body.

I wonder if the time will come
When you would take hold of my hand,
Stick your fingers between the spaces
And finally kiss every fingertip.

I wonder if the time will come
When you would idly play with my hair
Or rest your head on my lap
And let my fondle with yours.

I wonder if the time will come
When you would stand over me
While I'm lying down beneath a coconut tree
And lean over me to playfully kiss my forehead.

And I wonder if the time will come
When you would just kiss me
Under the rain and simply confess
That you've fallen for me.

** a poem i composed after waking up from my nap in the library awhile ago and edited it during mechone class

post post

2006-06-10T23:31:00.000-07:00

tagal tagal ko na hindi nakapost a!

oh well, what do you guys think about the new layout by the way? meron pa bang dumadayo sa blog ko na ito? ako nga hindi ko na masyado napapansin e... dalas ko ngang online lagi naman la sa keyboard... anyhoo...

yes! i succeeded in making a bread dough almost on my own i might add. i took a recipe from the internet but made my own special touches. and the method as well, i only copied (slightly) the method of fermenting the yeast. and at last! my supposed to be croissant turned out to be little muffin breads!!! why? because the dough is sticky, is it really supposed to be like that?! and i was still half asleep when i was beating the dough up and molding it so i took a spoon and scooped spoonfuls of dough and pluck it into the muffin molds!!! nice huh? it still tasted like croissant especially the buttery taste the only problem was the shape. and tonight, i made a cake! i thought tomorrow was fathers' day and made a cake for my dad... but fathers' day isn't until next week! oh well, the carrot cake will have to go first. hope it tastes good, i haven't even put the carrot and icing yet... it would just have to wait because i still don't have the whipped cream! haha!

well, this blog is my baking and book journal for the past few weeks... bet it wouldn't change for a while... that all that i will be talking about is my cooking, baking, books... and other stuff for a while... oh yeah! the cube! i almost forgot my lbymemb experience and my time with my majors...

i'm really growing OLD fast! i'm taking MEM courses and not just plain eng courses! MEMMATH, really tough... for the calculator so far. lots of buttons to press over and over again. i don't even know why we're getting those values! LBYMEMB, the cube!!! my gosh! all of us have been filing the work piece for 6 hours! and guess what, i'm not succeeding... wala pang straight!!! oh well... dito nalang...

i need sleep... >.<

suzanne's diary for nicholas

2006-06-02T16:30:00.000-07:00

You are the explosion of carnations
in a dark room.
Or the unexpected scent of pine
miles from Maine.

You are a full moon
that gives midnight its meaning.
And the explanation of water
For all living things.

You are a compass,
a sapphire,
a bookmark.
A rare coin,
a smooth stone,
a blue marble.

You are an old lore,
a small shell,
a saved dollar.
You are a fine quartz,
a feathered quill,
and a fob from a favorite watch.

You are a valentine
tattered and loved and reread a hundred times.
You are a medal found in a drawer
of a once sung hero.
You are honey
and cinnamon
and West Inndies spices.
lost from the boat
that was once Marco Polo's.

You are a pressed rose,
a pearl ring,
and a red perfume bottle found near the Nile.

You are an old soul from an ancient place,
a thousand years, and centuries and
millenuims ago.
And you have travelled all this way
just so I could love you.
I do.

~From James Patterson's Suzanne's Diary for Nicholas

simply sweet and dear...

alex cross

2006-05-30T19:43:00.000-07:00

wow, napakatagal ko na hindi naka post! it even passed my birthday! well, i have forgotten about removing the counter for a while and now it's gone... oh well, another year, another age and should be a lot wiser! well, i am wiser, much wiser than i was 3 months ago i think. anyway...

been hook in an Alex Cross novel again. thanks for the big bad wolf Nic and Cortet! anyway, i love it! well, i still don't know what's the deal with Pasha and why he is kidnapping women and killing them... but, i'm halfway there, besides, i know the name of the mastermind already! it's really a page turner try to read James Patterson's Alex Cross series! it's really fun! anyway, i haven't read only 4 more books out of the 11 books (as of now). and only got 3 books thanks to jing, nic and cortet! haha! :D

really now, i have watched the Da Vinci Code and X-men III. unfortunately, i'm not that satisfied with the first one mentioned. care to explain it anyone? haha! it's because i read the book. x-men on the other hand was fascinating! i had lots of fun watching it! but here's the gruesome thing... logan and jean?! wtf!!! ewww! worst pair! kitty and iceman... come on! rouge is better than her anytime of the day... oh well, pairing... not really an x-men thing but... haha! that's who i am! anyway, the movie's really good and i simply can't wait for the real last stand!

what am i blabbering in here for?! i've got to study my phyeng2 assignment already... we meet at 7 and it simply sucks my brain out! 7-8 then 8-11 is lbyphy2! i still haven't bought the manual! and even a measly 10 minute break is... oh well, that's my nasty schedule. oh yeah, before that, the big bad wolf is waiting!!! my bookmark is burning through the pages and my hands are itching to get hold of it again! ja ne!

serious summer

2006-05-18T11:09:00.000-07:00

i seriously have to enjoy my 4 days of summer! Because of summer classes and org responsibilities, only have 4 days of summer vacation. seriously, could things get any better?! anyway, how can i enjoy it? it's cloudy outside, there's a chill in the air and rainy season is almost here. wow, the greatest summer vacation ever, really.

well, i have accomplish much more things than the usual summers that i had. first off, i got a satisfying 2.0 for my engcal2 summer class. then, had a bad streak of cooking shrimps, crabs and baking breads and pies. then there's also the pilates workout which really is great! i mean for the first few days everytime i got out of bed, i couldn't feel my legs, arms or even my back. but now, even though i do it twice a day, nothing happens. which also helps my in badminton. i also tried out a day in slimmer's world. it was fun! as in it was my first time in an actual gym and i enjoyed it! the feeling was great and i want to be a member in it, anyone with a generous heart want to give me Php 40,000.00 for my birthday? :P kidding! anyway, what else did i accomplish? i'm really proud to say that my fiction is finally done! i love it not because i'm the author but because i fell in love writing it! i know that sounds silly but... that's the way it is. and of course, the best thing that ever happened, i got my student's permit!

now next week is the start of my second year in college. whoopie! i'm getting older! and i feel older! haha! no sarcasm there, i feel like i'm the child way back then when i wanted to have a job ASAP. well, maybe i still am a child who is in a hurry to grow up and be free from my everyday life right now. hmmm... wonder who i'll be in another 10 years. would i be the person who i really want to be? and how many more summer vacations do i have left?

one year

2006-05-12T19:45:00.000-07:00

ang bilis nga naman talaga ng panahon...

exactly one year ago, i had my first experience of an actual picnic. japanese garden in luneta park... ok, cheap... entrance fee was a mere Php 5. but the place wasn't really that of a big deal... although it was pretty! the food didn't even really mattered for me too... it was the company i had... kurstin, porman, ann and steph lee...

we planned the picnic as a surprise birthday party for porman actually, but it seemed that almost everyone backed out at the last minute so we ended up having a picnic among us. it was fun, lots of talk about anything and everything... each of us made a promise to each other that after a year, at the same place, natupad na namin dapat yung mga promise... i really didn't have any goal at that time. i was a carefree incoming frosh in dlsu... i had no idea what i was going to meet in college so i promised that by that time, i would already be a dean's lister!

bad move. i still am not on that list... maybe the late lister... i even failed engcal1 and now taking engcal2 during the summer, whoopie! haha! :D a little sarcasm there. oh, and the second picnic didn't take place. the whole day i sat in class for 3 hours, 1 and a half for review and the other half for the brain draining multiple integral and surface sketching test... then i was off to robinson's place once again. i tell you, i have been there for a hundred times and i still don't get tired of that place! that must be my favorite mall ever! haha! oh well, then i stayed home and updated my fic... not disappointed at all that the picnic didn't take place... how could it?! it rained the whole freaking day!

right now, i would like to cross the dl goal off my list for a while. of course i will still strive hard for it but not that desperate for one because i know that the course i chose is not an easy one... my goal right now? finish my fic, meet MEMo deadline (kinukulit na ako ni bosing! boss ko parin siya kahit na ako na publication head!) and to live a healthy lifestyle... aim BMI? 18.5! or kahit na 19 ok na rin :P for that, i need to be 95lbs!!! better start moving!

chris daughtry

2006-05-11T17:42:00.000-07:00

american idol season 5... what went wrong?!

"America, you have voted..." wah!!! bakit si chris pa?! i mean, mas deserving naman siya kesa kay katharine di ba?! ang ganda ganda ng mga performance niya last night while kay katharine ugh!!! i mean, i love the hound dog performance with the all shook up mix even though she dropped a line there but her version of can't help falling in love??? pitchy! screeching and shrieking!!! don't get me wrong, i learned to love her voice... really i did pero last night's performance was suppose to kick her all the way home, away from the competition... and chris' performance was absolutely breath taking... both of them!

elliot's the ultimate last night, i must agree... and taylor's performances really did bring him to be in the top 2... but come on, chris deserves that place better than katharine!

ok, i'm going to shut up now and finally come down. when i heard chris was in the bottom 2, i sat up from my usual laid back position, grab my phone and texted mama tep... "no, not chris!" when simon said that he thinks katharine was going home, i was estatic! i mean, usually people don't agree with simon but i do... and finally when ryan annonced that chris is going home... man, i freaked!!! di pa nariring mobile ko nasagot ko na kagad kasi tatawagan ko na si tep... tears... that's all that fell...

now the question is... "who is the next american idol?" i hope elliot is... or taylor... just not katharine... please!

lao shu ai da mi

2006-05-10T21:28:00.000-07:00

this is a Chinese song that i have learned how to love since Sunday! heard it when my dad was listening to some dvds... here's the lyrics! ask me for the mp3 if you like! i am very happy to share it with everyone!

on the road

2006-05-07T21:16:00.000-07:00

man, do i hate my life! but there's one thing for sure... i'm afraid to die just yet...

i got my student's permit last wednesday, and everyone who has been around me saw my excitement over that very little change in my life. i still am excited about having my own car... in fact, i researched and asked the prices of the cars i would like to have. honda jazz, hyundai getz or kia picanto... really, not because it's the one i like but it's something that could fit the budget or even lower than the budget. i like one that's colored orange and has a sun roof like my dad's ford lynx!

i was excited too the first time my mom gave me the keys to start the engine of our present car. the second day when i started it, we nearly crashed onto the wall. i still thought it was funny because it didn't happen at all... but this morning when my mom told me to move the car forward and back... that was everything but funny. i learned that driving isn't as smooth and easy as i thought it would be. and when i sat on the front seat of my dad's car, i turned white and sat quietly...

everything changed. i knew that if i was the one who will sit behind the wheel, it would be different. as a car stopped in front of us, my back would uncomfortably push back onto the seat... really, the big road trip i am looking forward to, will just have to wait or in fact be permanently be postponed.

i'm afraid to die... i'm afraid to sit behind the wheel. i want to accelerate faster and faster but i can't... i'm just too afraid...

online gaming

2006-04-29T17:49:00.000-07:00

are you an online gamer?

well, i play PangYa... the online golfing game. i'm not seriously addicted to it but i do want to earn enough pang to complete the outfit that i want. a black bandana, ad girl gloves and the strawberry tank top that i had my eyes on ever since i played the game...

anyway, not an avid gamer really that's why up to this day, my level is still RookieB... i know, pathetic... haha! anyway, not really the deal here... my character is a girl cause i found her cute... with her big yellow ribbon, red hair and blue top... what can i say, i have a thing for red heads! whenever i play, guys always hit on me... that's what i hate... i even tell lies just to get them off my back. sometimes i just ignore their messages... i come there to play not to flirt with complete strangers! anyway, awhile ago, i told this guy that i was a 20-year-old man playing the game for his girlfriend... although he was very friendly at first when he saw that my character was a girl, he told me to shut up! how rude! i guess you can see why i hate online gamers... specially if they're guys! rudeness much? and when i play the part of a girl, they hit on me. and when i ignore them, they get mad! what's happening to the internet now? the first time i have been to a chat room, that was about 10 years ago or so i think... basta, the first time mirc was the talk of everyone... i had this huge crush on the one i was talking to. naive, gullible, stupid... ok, i was a kid. but he was a gentleman. he didn't talk about stuff that would piss you right off... he didn't flirt around... he was like an older guy who just want to be friends. right now, gamers from 11 years old onwards are such rude people... that's why i rarely play right now... wish i could earn enough pang to buy a guy player!

oh well... that's it for online gaming... i hate the guys there!!!

american idol 5

2006-04-27T17:42:00.000-07:00

wah! this is the worst elimination night ever for american idol season 5!!!

although last week was a good choice. after ace, kellie pickler walked away from the title of the next american idol... honestly, i thought that wasn't a fair one... kellie was a good singer, she performs well but has the last two nights off... big deal... but as everyone knows, in american idol, you need to always be at your best.ever since i watched this season's performances, i have been cheering for kellie all the way... it's kind of a sad thing seeing her leave.

now, i will just be looking forward to the performance of chris daughtry, nothing more. hope he will be there for the rest of the competition. i loved what he performed last night! absolutely amazing... right song, nice vocals... what more to say?!

so, that's it... my rants for american idol season 5 top 6.

Confessions of a Prince

2006-04-26T16:53:00.000-07:00

been attending summer classes... it's fun! grabe! so much fun! imagine sitting down for 3 hours straight doing nothing but integrating transcendental functions, differentiating y=f(x) and putting all these formulas into your head and actually applying them! Really, this isn't just sarcasm... a part of it is truly fun. i just finished taking the first long quiz awhile ago and well, all i could say is, it melted my brain!!! *night of the living dead*

oh well, after classes, mom and me usually go rushing to robinsons or sm manila for some serious munching and shopping! there are a few times when i go play badminton or just hang out with friends and watch a movie like last saturday and yesterday. summer really is great, there are times in which i just want to go home at once, connect to the internet to continue my downloads, turn the boob tube on and bake or make desserts! or sometimes, i don't leave the pc... like today. i stay here, and continue writing my on going fiction, Confessions of a Prince. i love what's happening in it already... a couple of readers thinks so too! so, take a peek if you want to! i'm really really really proud of how things are going in this fiction of mine... and oh yeah, before you start reading, all of it is pure fiction! first of all, Justin Daniels is a guy, i'm a girl so, that's one fiction there already... the one narrating is a guy!!! oh yeah, comment on it will ya, guys? if it's guy enough or still girly... i think like a guy most of the time but i feel like the guy-ness is going going and i'm still hoping it's not gone just yet! haha!

so, what else is new in my life? i'm enjoying it right now, and i dare say i'm getting prettier and cuter by the minute! haha! joke! i'm into so many things right now... so many changes in my life have been happening and i'm really enjoying every little bit. like going against what i used to like... hehe, i won't expand on this... even my taste in music has been changing from one genre to another... like, right now, i'm listening to the album of Skye Sweetnam!!! and ust last night, i was grooving to the walk the line soundtrack! but one thing hasn't changed though, i'm still lovable!! joke! no, one thing that didn't change, i'm still a cartoon buff!!!

ooops! TeeVee time!!! got to go! Please do me a favor and check the fic out!

SMELL YA LATER!
~ mysh

lil_mysh

2006-04-18T21:28:00.000-07:00

holy week just passed me by so quickly. 'm not really a very good Christian, i admit that. i didn't go to Church like i'm supposed to... but i prayed, not really in the sense that i made the sign of the cross and everything... but i had a lot of free time and i talked to God... i do that a lot.

thursday's moon was awesome! the last time i saw a moon like that was the summer after grade 6. and the one who told me to look at it was in cebu that time... from that time on, i have always followed the moon around. i stayed at the balcony of our house in Sta. Mesa for awhile, then the stars appeared... a beautiful, beautiful sight. the only thing missing? a bottle of champagne and someone special to dance with... *sigh*

and friday, i'm nowhere to be found... as well as saturday. where have i been? to a place where my sun cell have no signal or very little for that matter... i went to Zambales with my dad to "originally" eat some shrimps... correction, a lot of shrimps! i didn't know where zambales was... i didn't have a clue that it will take us 5 hours on the road just to reach our destination... but, i guess it was worth it. milk fish and shrimp were my favorite food there... the shrimp ponds are nice and i just loved to see the shrimps jumping around when the net was lifted. but summer here in the Philippines is really no joke... it's hot! and now, guess what, i'm tanned again... hopefully in a month's time my skin will return too normal again.

sunday, like thursday night, i was the "shobe" of the dinner table... well, it's not that i didn't enjoy it... it was fun being with my elder brothers (cousins) once in a while... talking about nothing else but the food in front of us... hahahha!!! and well, after dinner was our computer hogging time... we were all over the laptop looking at disgusting photos while our youngest cousin was being the little baby he is. and the week ended just like that... monday came...

i really thought monday was nothing but DOOM... it was course card distribution day for me... and heck! my first stop? chemtwo... i felt the room slowly closing in on me, i know it was my fault if i failed... i didn't really study... but, thankfully, i barely passed... not really the type of thing that i would be proud off... but considering what i did in preparation for the finals and all the long quizzes, i think it's appropriate. and the rest followed. the time i went in the room to get my phyeng1 course card... J210 at 11:00 am... i didn't really want to stay cause like Dr. Palisoc said, i am wasting my time there... i was sure that i will be receiving another 0.0... but i was brave enough to stay and said to myself that if ever i really got a 0.0, it was all my fault for not taking phyeng1 seriously like everyone else. i got it, didn't even bother to look at the grade waiting for me... i received the card faced down, didn't even bother to look at it, i inserted in in my pouch and went out the door. i didn't cry... but i think i went pale there, the pressure was more than i could ever handle. my heart was crying out and just wanted to break... it was heavy, i was nervous and shaking... there was no one there to be with me once again when i see a 0.0 on the course card. when i gathered up my courage which took about only a minute or two, i looked at it and nearly shriek right there, outside J210! i passed! well, barely but still i passed!!! 1.0! ok, that humiliating... but, i know i didn't do the best i could... promise, i will be studying harder from now on! i called steph lee, the one who was with me from the time i entered la salle that day. and i was estatic! excited for once that day! i felt so great to know that i didn't ask anyone to help me out and i did everything in that class all by myself... i listened by myself, took notes... everything! i did it!!! since then, everything went by smoothly that day and when night came, i was tired beyond words...

and truthfully saying, today's badminton and pingpong session was totally great for me... but the problem is... now i have a slight fever!!! oh well, back to the boob tube for my shows!

things i hate

2006-04-11T22:20:00.000-07:00

if there's one thing that i hate, it's waking up early in the morning with bruises all over my body!!! it hurts! since sunday morning, waking up has been like this... bruises, aching body... i'm simply physically breaking down... damn! my bad... why? i drank a little too much last saturday night on Jo's debut... messed my life even more i mght add... oh well, what's done is done...

hmm... things that i hate... i guess reading cliffhanger fiction is one. since thursday night, i have been into reading fictions again... i'm even writing one right now... "Confessions of a Prince". i haven't continued updating "From the Inside Looking In" though... seems that i have lost my inspiration on writing about the point of view of a two-timing girl for now... and have decided what i think of jerks! oh well, i'm placing myself in one anyway in order to write this fiction...

one more thing that i hate, it's how much my memory stinks when i really need it, and how clear it is when i don't want to remember stuff... i guess i'm just destined to always dwell in the past and remember what i have done wrong... or what now seems foolish for me right now. i'm tired of it... i want to move on...

so, what else? oh yeah, finals is a thing of the past since yesterday at 1:34 pm, on the dot! woohoo! now it's just doomsday (course card distribution) and summer classes... first time ever that i would not be enjoying summer vacation... although when i was in grade 6 i took up summer classes cause i didn't reach the 85 grade average which was needed in order to proceed to 1st year classes. but that was diffeerent, i enjoyed that even though i was awake almost the whole night on the phone talking to some people most of the time... still, i enjoyed it! but this summer class now is different... it's calculus!!!

oh well, might as well enjoy what's left of my so-called summer break... bye bye 1 month vacation... it's just about 2 weeks for me...